My 16 yr old SS, we have an ok good relationship. He is a bright kid but very agressive in pointing things we do wrong out and trying to make us feel stupid. Very lazy and has and excuse for everything, never taking blame for things he does wrong. Let me correct myself he does have a job so he is not that lazy. I believe this is just a kid thing to do. Now getting to my point since I have given you a gist of him.
So we are constantly asking him to pick up his plates and rinse off his dishes. We let him off the hook in doing an everyday chore and let it go with one chore a week since we have been made aware his advanced classes are not just effecting him but effecting other kiddos in school. Well he has brought his C grade up to an A and B range ever since then. I try not to bring the things that were expected up of me when I was growing up to him cause my life and his life is totally different. I was brought up differently and I had to work for everything. I myself have to adjust to this cause I want to push and push my military upbringing on him and I know that I cant do that. I realize thats my life not his. But we have had multiple talks with him in helping us out or anything we ask him to do, all we get is an ehhhh...like he will do it on his time. Then it dont get done cause noone is nagging at him. Why for the life of me it takes nagging to get a child to do something is beyond me, if they dont want the nagging then why dont they just do what they ask is my oppinion and thats what I have told them mulitple times. His dad doesn't push him hard enough in doing things he is the type of dad that would get around nagging and being mean and just do it himself and get it out of the way and done. I am total opposite and say they need to be taught responsibility at some point. He uses an excuse for everything The biggest one is I have a job and go to school I am tired, but then goes in his room and play for hours on his xbox. We told him that we would do his laundry to help out since he dont have time so to speak if he brings his homework home and does it, cause he was not bringing it home. He thinks doing it in front of us will make him look stupid. Weird idea but hey thats what he feels. So he started doing homework in his room and he closes door and everything so we dont see. We have told him it doesnt make us feel anything if he does in front of us or does not. We don't know how else to get him to care enough to want to help out and carry his weight. We (DH and me who is the SM) can not do everything! We both work, his dad two jobs and little side jobs here and there, me I work like 4 jobs I have maybe one day off a month, all the working to help support them since we are not getting any CS. Anyone have any ideas??