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what is the appropriate amount?

Posted by on Oct. 14, 2013 at 10:49 PM
  • 15 Replies

What do you think is appropriate for your son/daughter to spend on birthday, Christmas gifts for their bf/gf? My son is 19 and he buys whatever the gf tells him too and most of the time it is around $200.00, of course she doesn't spend anywhere near that on him. I just feel this is a lot of expect to have a bf/gf spend but maybe I'm just out of touch, what is the going rate for gifts these days?

by on Oct. 14, 2013 at 10:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Oct. 14, 2013 at 10:55 PM
2 moms liked this
Once 18 if they have their own money they can spend whatever. My dd 22 spent $300 on her boyfriend.
My dh bought me a little 6 inch travel tv. He was 19 then. That was expensive.
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GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Oct. 15, 2013 at 1:44 AM

Whatever they want. My DD just bought her friend a custom made animal onezie for his birthday. I didn't agree with it - but her money/account her choice. As long as I'm not paying for the gift, I don't care how much they spend.

bizzeemom2717
by on Oct. 15, 2013 at 2:18 AM
My Ds is 20 has been dating his girl for 3 years both are juniors in college. It's his money but he's a responsible kid. Last year they both went up to Canada for a ski trip to Whistler resort. They had both just turned 20 he paid. That was her Xmas gift
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boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Oct. 15, 2013 at 10:20 AM

His money, his choice.    My son tends to spoil his girlfriends.    If I feel that the givng is one sided, I will point that out.




fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Oct. 15, 2013 at 11:19 AM

 At that age, if they have the money and want to spend it on gf/bf there is really nothing you can do about it.  I see where you would have concern.  Perhaps what he wants isn't nearly as expensive as what she wants or what he wants to buy her.  Has he ever acted disappointed or sad over something she bought him?

mt0130
by on Oct. 15, 2013 at 12:47 PM

I can see that he is disappointed, but he would never say he is because that would be saying something negative about her and he never will. I know that he had planned on spending about $50.00 on their "anniversary" besides taking her out to dinner and then she told him she wanted a pandora bracelet with a few beads, which cost at least $200.00. So I also know he would not be spending as much as he is on things, but she tells him what she wants and he just buys it to keep her happy, otherwise she would curse him out. It's not like he has a full time job all year round either, he is in college and working in the summer.


Quoting fantasticfour:

 At that age, if they have the money and want to spend it on gf/bf there is really nothing you can do about it.  I see where you would have concern.  Perhaps what he wants isn't nearly as expensive as what she wants or what he wants to buy her.  Has he ever acted disappointed or sad over something she bought him?



drfink
by Emily on Oct. 15, 2013 at 1:39 PM

 Ok that is wrong...buying gifts to keep from being cussed out.I;m not sure the correct amount, that is individual ,depends on finances ,length of relationship ,age but it should have thought and be something the gf or bf would like but a gift is a gift not a demand.

Quoting mt0130:

I can see that he is disappointed, but he would never say he is because that would be saying something negative about her and he never will. I know that he had planned on spending about $50.00 on their "anniversary" besides taking her out to dinner and then she told him she wanted a pandora bracelet with a few beads, which cost at least $200.00. So I also know he would not be spending as much as he is on things, but she tells him what she wants and he just buys it to keep her happy, otherwise she would curse him out. It's not like he has a full time job all year round either, he is in college and working in the summer.

 

Quoting fantasticfour:

 At that age, if they have the money and want to spend it on gf/bf there is really nothing you can do about it.  I see where you would have concern.  Perhaps what he wants isn't nearly as expensive as what she wants or what he wants to buy her.  Has he ever acted disappointed or sad over something she bought him?

 

 

 

huntersmom1007
by Member on Oct. 15, 2013 at 3:20 PM

I am as lost as you are. My 16 year old SD gets her bf to spend a fortune on her.  I made my husband pull his head out of his butt and admit there is sex involved.  No one spends that kind of money after a year of dating without getting some.  OH sorry got ahead of myself.  Her bf bought her $120 pair of air Jordan's (just one example). 

my2kidsmom9498
by Bronze Member on Oct. 15, 2013 at 4:28 PM

Since, he is already an adult, I don't see how it is your business.  But, dh and I spent money on each other when we were seriously dating.  I know my folks never knew how much.

bizzeemom2717
by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 2:20 AM
My HS boyfriend and I dated for 4 years and were def not having sex the first 3. I was also bought nice gifts from time to time and I really loved the guy and clearly he respected me. Not ALL kids are having sex. Not saying she isn't but don't go by that being the only reason

Quoting huntersmom1007:

I am as lost as you are. My 16 year old SD gets her bf to spend a fortune on her.  I made my husband pull his head out of his butt and admit there is sex involved.  No one spends that kind of money after a year of dating without getting some.  OH sorry got ahead of myself.  Her bf bought her $120 pair of air Jordan's (just one example). 

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