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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Am I wrong to be irritated ?

Posted by on Oct. 15, 2013 at 2:35 PM
  • 24 Replies

 My 17 y.o. joined a school group called Best Buddies.It is an organization that pairs kids with disabilities  with a kid with out disabilities.The two go out or do something a couple of times a month.It is about increasing independence for the teens with disabilities.It brings benefits to both teens.My son was paired with a young man two weeks ago.He is high functioning autistic ,dyslexic and some other things.He is a nice boy...he isn't the issue ...his mom SMH.My older two also belonged and we never have had any issues.

My 17 y.o had a late little bday celebration.A group a friends to the movies and to a local pizza place on a Sun afternoon..He is paired that week and asks to include his buddy. Mom calls that Sat.She calls while I'm buying a car.I tell her ,she keeps talking ,I keep telling her and she keeps complaining we didn't call her to set things up ...on and on.Finally I tell her I have to go.

Anyway this past Sun the two guys are going to roller blade at the roller rink.She called complaining we had not called to set it up with her.I told her she was free to call us .She wants us to call her to set up all activities because that's what parents do.I just told her to feel free to call anytime.Then she went over to the president of the club's house and complained to her mother and the president about the type of parents we were.Our older kids are friends,Called us again and is apparently contacting other parents.I'm not setting up play dates for my 17 yr old.She can call and confirm any time.The complaining to others irritates me.If it wouldn't punish her son for her actions I would push my son to change but it's not the kids fault.

 I don't want to gossip about her ,it could effect her son so I'm not discussing this with friends here. Is she right ,should we be setting stuff up or should we let the guys do it and mom can call to confirm if she wants.

by on Oct. 15, 2013 at 2:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Oct. 15, 2013 at 2:43 PM
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She sounds like a pain in the ass. Can your son get a new buddy??
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Txlisa7969
by Bronze Member on Oct. 15, 2013 at 3:20 PM

Although I understand her son has special needs it sounds like she still treats him like a young child.  Ideally HER son should be letting her know about up coming events or outings.  Maybe as a compromise your son wouldn't mind touching base with her to let her know place and times of their plans.  Especially if he and this young man hit it off pretty good as friends.  Hope it works out for the best, this sounds like an awesome program.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Oct. 15, 2013 at 4:23 PM
1 mom liked this

Of course she isn't right!   She is overbearing and controlling.    I understand you not wanting to gossip, and I agree.    If I were in your shoes, I would call her directly...or maybe show up on her doorstep... and explain that you have raised your children to be responsible,  independent teens.    Setting up play days ended with childhood.   Your teens are capable of making plans without you hlding their hands.   If she feels the need to have minute details  regarding her son's plans, she should discuss this with her son and depend on him to give her the details.




drfink
by Emily on Oct. 15, 2013 at 4:38 PM

 

Quoting atlmom2:

She sounds like a pain in the ass. Can your son get a new buddy??

 I personally love that idea but that would punish the teen my son has been paired with.Poor kid ,with a mom like that he has enough going on .The funny part is the parents of the teens in the special ed group are told one of the reasons/benefits of the Best Buddies  group for the special ed kids is to help them become more independent.They do not have to join.

The weird part is she harped to the presidents mom that good parents of ALL teens should be setting things up not leaving it to the teens.All teens ...smh

fammatthews4
by Trisha on Oct. 15, 2013 at 4:42 PM
You have every right to be irritated. As hard as it is, especially with a special needs kid, she needs to be stepping back and letting her son make the plans. He needs to learn that independence.

Now off topic. Did you buy the car? What did you buy?
drfink
by Emily on Oct. 15, 2013 at 4:48 PM

 

Quoting Txlisa7969:

Although I understand her son has special needs it sounds like she still treats him like a young child.  Ideally HER son should be letting her know about up coming events or outings.  Maybe as a compromise your son wouldn't mind touching base with her to let her know place and times of their plans.  Especially if he and this young man hit it off pretty good as friends.  Hope it works out for the best, this sounds like an awesome program.

 That would be great with me.My son wouldn't care either...well maybe to have to remember to call ANOTHER  mom about plans (he may feel one set of parents is enough to deal with ; )    ) ....LOL he would though.

That is not what she wants or her point.She believes the parents of all teens should talk and clear everything before the kids get together.The presidents mom oldest daughter and my daughter have been friends since 6th grade ,they are seniors in college.She tried to explain but the mom wouldn't accept that parents of older kids don't set this stuff up.I know for a fact the presidents mom also didn't set up play dates for our daughters LOL

drfink
by Emily on Oct. 15, 2013 at 4:54 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting boys2men2soon:

Of course she isn't right!   She is overbearing and controlling.    I understand you not wanting to gossip, and I agree.    If I were in your shoes, I would call her directly...or maybe show up on her doorstep... and explain that you have raised your children to be responsible,  independent teens.    Setting up play days ended with childhood.   Your teens are capable of making plans without you hlding their hands.   If she feels the need to have minute details  regarding her son's plans, she should discuss this with her son and depend on him to give her the details.

 Love showing up at her doorstep.

The president of the group is a girl my son has known for years they were on OM teams earlier and their sisters have been friends since sixth grade.I think that is why she was telling him ALL the details of the convo.Apparently the mom wouldn't leave and was there almost the entire time her son was at the roller rink roller blading with my son...3 hours.The pres's  mom called us but she was more discreet LOL

sahlady
by Gold Member on Oct. 15, 2013 at 4:56 PM

laughing

Quoting drfink:

The weird part is she harped to the presidents mom that good parents of ALL teens should be setting things up not leaving it to the teens.All teens ...smh


sahlady
by Gold Member on Oct. 15, 2013 at 4:57 PM

is this her only child?

drfink
by Emily on Oct. 15, 2013 at 5:12 PM

 

Quoting fammatthews4:

You have every right to be irritated. As hard as it is, especially with a special needs kid, she needs to be stepping back and letting her son make the plans. He needs to learn that independence.

Now off topic. Did you buy the car? What did you buy?

 I actually understand her son may not be great at communicating all info.Mine were not very good at it at a younger age also .We would stand there if needed and make them call the friend or text until all needed details were set and discussed.We made them do it after some age.It helps them learn what info they need to know to make parents ok.So if she were to have her son do this to my son I think it would help him learn also.The weird part is she has known enough when she called us to have had her son call my son.That is not her issue though ,she really believes parents of all teens should contact each other and do all the clearing ,setting up of all plans.

I bought the Lincoln MKZ Hybrid.I am in SUV withdrawal...my husband has said he will take it and I can get a SUV if I can't get used to it.It was my choice but I love giant gas hogging SUVs...I'm Texan I can't help it.I'm going to give it a year before I decide.It is still weird when I turn it on ...there is NO noise.I lowered the window the first half dozen times to make sure the car was on LOLThough in city driving with a.c. on ...36 miles per gallon....I can get used to that easy .I worry though, our cats love to lay in our drive ,they seem not to be afraid of our cars so will slowly move in as we inch in afraid to hit them.With this car I'm terrified I will hit them because the noise isn't there for them to move.I am looking for a giant cow bell for the front of my car .... ; )

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