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Advice Needed: My 19 year old daughter is seeing a 30 year...

Posted by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 5:50 PM
  • 38 Replies

My 19 year old daughter is seeing a 30 year old man. They met through work, I am trying my best to accept this situation. Any advice?  My concern is the age differnce and he has a 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship.   My daughter and I talk about the relattionship and I don't want her to be taken advantage of.  I dont' want to push her away from me if I am negative towards the relatioship. 

Thanks,

by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 5:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
DragonLover462
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 6:01 PM
3 moms liked this

Just continue to do what you are doing.  If you are negative towards the relationship, you may just push her further into it.  This could be a good thing for her.  My niece married a man much older than she is and they have a wonderful marriage. 

friendlymom5
by Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 6:03 PM
2 moms liked this
Just keep doing what you are. You are doing well.
judy8888
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 6:08 PM

Thank you for the responses :)  How do I react to my daughter when she asks to stay the night at his place?  I know this will be coming ...Mb I am old fashion , but, its not sitting well with me. 

elsters4
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 6:31 PM

Keep doing what you are doing otherwise she may get even deeper into the relationship because it's a "forbidden relationship" plus she'd want to prove to you that she's fine. So don't say anything negative; if she realizes something is wrong, hopefully she will realize she needs to get out of the relationship; otherwise, you should point it out to her.

sahlady
by Gold Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 6:46 PM

does she live at home

bexsmum
by Bronze Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 6:57 PM
1 mom liked this

Well at her age she is an adult so you can't forbid her to see him or ground her. I firmly believe that age is just a number and as you get older it means even less. I think you need to be open with her and let her discover for herself if he is really "too old" for her or not. My parents are 10 yrs apart and my inlaws 12 yrs apart so not all big age differences mean someone is going to be taken advantage of.  Hell DD who is 21 was seeing a 33 yr old this spring/summer. They met at the gym both were gym rats and age meant nothing to either of them.

I think you need to keep the lines of communication open but remember she is an adult and as such will be involved in an adult relationship. Why would she ask permission to stay at her boyfriends house overnight. DD just states on the way out the door I won't be home tonight. Permission is not needed if you are an adult

atlmom2
by Susie on Oct. 21, 2013 at 7:28 PM
I would die. Luckily I never see that happening. 22 yo just got out of a relationship and maybe in another her age.
Dd 19 has a 20 yo boyfriend.
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Barabell
by Barbara on Oct. 21, 2013 at 10:06 PM

I was wondering that too. Judy8888, could you provide a little more information? I was also wondering if you have met him and what your impression of him is?

Quoting sahlady:

does she live at home


bcauseimthemom
by Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 10:12 PM

I would let her live her life.  The only advice I would give her is to not meet the daughter unless it is very serious.  It is not fair to get a child involved on any level unless your daughter is going to be in their lives for good.  It isn't healthy for a child, especially a 10 year old little girl to be subjected to a revolving door of women is not healthy.


What would he be using her for aside from sex?  No offense but what would a 19 year old woman have to offer a 30 year old man that he would be taking advantage of?? I would think that if either one were taking advantage of the other it would be your daughter.


Before you get your panties in a bunch and get all crazy yelling and calling me names, I am NOT saying that is what your child is doing.  I am just stating my opinion that it would be more likely for the younger individual in the relationship would be taking advantage of the relationship.

my2kidsmom9498
by Bronze Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with the others just keep doing what you are doing.  I am not thrilled with my dd choice in men either.

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