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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Do You Think It is More Complicated to Raise Teens Today?

Posted by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 2:16 PM
  • 11 Replies

'How to Get a 13-Year-Old Boy to Kiss You' Article Is Why Raising a Daughter Scares Me to Death

by April Daniels Hussar

Oh boy. Raising a child in this day and age just gets scarier and scarier. Now there are online articles with instructions for how to get boys to kiss you. In my day, we had to rely on whatever info we could glean from Sassy magazine -- and our intuition, of course!

My daughter is only 10 and we keep her pretty well insulated from the online world, but I know it's just a matter of time before she's more and more plugged in ... and coming across stuff like this. Is it too late to move to a desert island with no internet connection?

This guide doesn't say who it's meant for, though one presumes a 13-year-old girl. (One hopes!) All and all, it's fairly harmless, though a bit confusing with the myriad -- and often contradictory -- instructions. In one breath the reader is instructed: "... Make sure you look like yourself! If he doesn't like the real you, it's not meant to be," but later points warn the reader against chapped lips and admonishes that even your HAIR should be "moisturized and soft!"

You also, of course, need to wear makeup -- but "not too much!;" apply "cherry or strawberry lip gloss;" and by all means "make sure you have minty gum or breath mints with you at all times!"

Ahhhhh!

I know, I know. Thirteen is not to young to be thinking about kissing boys. I sure was thinking about it at 13, though it was another, er, few years before a boy finally seemed to think about it at the same time I did. I was a late bloomer, what can I say. But it's one thing to be thinking about it, and talking about it with your friends, and having unrequited crushes. It's another thing entirely to be able to Google instructions for how to go about getting kissed ... and much worse, I'm sure! (I'm scared to even think about what other kinds of instructions are out there.) The information -- and MISinformation -- that is available by the masses to our children at the few clicks of a mouse truly terrifies me.

The internet is an incredible thing. It's done so much good in the world, and can be a great force for change, and for real connection. It can make the world smaller, in a good way. But it's also a potential source of danger -- from something fairly innocuous like these silly instructions for kissing boys, to something truly horrifying, like unwittingly inviting predators into your tween's social network. And when it comes to raising my daughter, that really scares me.

Does you think it's more complicated to raise teens today?

by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 2:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mt0130
by Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 4:18 PM

Yes, and most of it is because of the technology that we have, they are always in touch with each other and plugged in! God forbid you should look at their phone or even touch it, it is always on their person just in case someone needs to get in touch this second. And as you said you can pretty much find instructions for, or find,  ANYTHING on the internet, also scarry. I also think that our parents just told us what they thought and if you didn't like it too bad that was the way it was going to be. Today we are too afraid to say anything which may turn our kids against us, we would have never thought to turn against our parents, they will do it in a heartbeat today, I guess our parents were better at giving us consequences, today we are all so busy trying to keep our heads above water that we let a lot slide. I don't think the respect is there as much as it used to be either, and I don't think you can pin it all on the parents, a lot has to do with who they are hanging out with or dating, or what they found on the internet!

elsters4
by Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 4:23 PM

I agree with the PP that a lot of it has to do with technology. Lots of people blame it on how the girls dress, but it really doesn't have to do with that. If your head is screwed on straight, your clothes should not matter. However, I do agree you shouldn't have totally skanky clothes, but too many mothers blame "bikinis" on teen pregnancy, and that's really not the case at all. Also, kids have access to all these things much more easily nowadays what with the Internet at their fingertips and parents in this day and age tend to supervise their children less and less. So yes, I do think that it has become harder to raise teens.

wakymom
by Silver Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 4:29 PM

 Yes and no. Technology makes it seem harder, and for those of us who are less tech-savy, it is, but the basics of teaching them respect and values are the same.

 

 

 

duets
by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 4:47 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes, yes & yes!  I do believe it is harder to raise teens in today's world.  So much technology, life moving too fast, too much homework, not enough time for outdooor activities (glued to video games) not enough time allowing kids to be kids...... I could go on & on!

atlmom2
by Susie on Oct. 22, 2013 at 4:58 PM
absolutely
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my2kidsmom9498
by Bronze Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 5:28 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think it is harder, just different.  Without cell phones, our parents were not able to keep up with us.  But, they didn't worry as much since no news is good news.  My kids talk on line, we talked on the phone, but only with one person at a time.  

1kidmomajm
by Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 9:49 PM

Yes. When I was a teen we were more carefree. Yet if you were sad or had difficulty with something you were just a trouble maker. Yet now that we label kids with this or that issue, they have more access to the public via technology, there are more predators out there,and college costs so much more, I think kids are more stressed and so are parents.

Jessiejack
by Silver Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 9:58 PM

I don't know. This is the first teen I have raised. 

MidwestMama55
by Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 10:43 AM

Yes it is. I think having a stay at home parent with teens is needed. Be involved in their lives. They need the guidance.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Oct. 23, 2013 at 10:51 AM

Yes!    Society has less 'rules'.   Everything and anything seems acceptable somewhere...especially the cyber world.   




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