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Friend schedules party on same night - intended or coincidence?

Posted by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 5:07 PM
  • 10 Replies

I'm not sure what to make of this situation, as I can see logic for both sides of this coin.  Would love to hear someone else's take on it. 

We scheduled a birthday party for our 13yo.  The Monday before her party, she learned that another girl in her circle scheduled a party for the same night. 

  • She's not particularly close to the girl these days, (although has been in the past), but they do share a lot of mutual close friends. 
  • The girl is only having 4 people attend hers, but they are 4 of my 13yo's close friends also. 
  • One of the 4 friends is splitting her time between parties. 

I explained to my 13yo that a lot of thought goes into choosing a date.  Perhaps her parents had other calendars to coordinate, and might not have asked if there were conflicts at school.  (When we scheduled our date, I didn't ask...) 

Am I naive?  Is there more to this than meets the eye? Did I say the right thing?  I always second guess myself.

by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 5:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
romalove
by Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 5:36 PM

I'm confused.  Did she not invite the girl who's in her circle but is having the party the same night?

I am wondering if she felt left out, or if it's a coincidence.  Can't tell from what you have said.

sahlady
by Gold Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 5:59 PM

when were your invitations mailed out and when were hers mailed out?  could it be that you both scheduled the parties unknowingly on the same day?

elsters4
by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 6:11 PM

This. Also, was the other girl invited to your daughter's party?

Quoting sahlady:

when were your invitations mailed out and when were hers mailed out?  could it be that you both scheduled the parties unknowingly on the same day?


hrb111
by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 11:43 PM

Ah - forgot to mention:  She actually created a FB invite 3-4 weeks before the party, and then handed out the actual invitations a week before.  The girl was definitely invited via FB, I just double checked - however she never RSVP'd.  Everything points to a coincidence, or something beyond her control - I just can't understand why she's avoiding my 13yo.  That's why I keep wondering if I'm being naive.  I'm also wondering, after seeing your questions, if the girl was made to feel left out of the plans.  She's the baby of her family, and spoiled.  (But has great parents.)  She would probably plan her own party if she felt left out - she really can be spiteful.  Now I need to ask my 13yo about that.  Any thoughts?  Words of wisdom?  (She's my oldest, so we are newbs at this...)

gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 11:59 PM

To be honest, too much drama and teen girls thrive on it. I truly wouldn't give it another instant of thought no matter what the motive. 

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Oct. 24, 2013 at 12:18 AM

Is the other girl celebrating her birthday, as well?  If so,  one option is to ask if the girls want to combine parties?    If the girl is just having a party for no reason, and you know she knew about your DD's party....she did this to be spiteful.     Out of the 4 girls who are mutual friends, did any of them RSVP to your DD, then back out to attend the other girls party? 




suesues
by Silver Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 7:07 AM

its it on a friday are they both bday parties cant one change the date?

atlmom2
by Susie on Oct. 24, 2013 at 8:22 AM
Happens all the time. Just like adults have to choose between going to different events. Welcome to adulthood a little early. Don't give it a 2nd thought and move on. This is the beginning of drama that will continue through hs. I tried to stay out of it as much as possible.
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Barabell
by Barbara on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:22 PM


Quoting atlmom2:

Happens all the time. Just like adults have to choose between going to different events. Welcome to adulthood a little early. Don't give it a 2nd thought and move on. This is the beginning of drama that will continue through hs. I tried to stay out of it as much as possible.

I agree with this.

02nana07
by Ida on Oct. 31, 2013 at 11:35 PM

 I would stay out of it if it was done out of spite getting your daughter upset is what she wants if not there is no reason to be upset.

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