I recently posted (Desperately Needs Advice) about our 17 year old daughter who continually pushes the envelope when it comes to rules and regulations. It's been one hellacious weekend.
Just to give some background. She's "dating" a 17 year old boy who's a high school drop-out and lied to us about attending school. He and our daughter have talked into the wee hours of the morning on the phone when she has to get up at 6:00 AM for school and he can sleep all day long. She has sneaked the house phone into her room. We caught her and restricted her because of it. Then, she sneaked my husband's work cell phone to talk to her boyfriend. Restricted her, again, and changed the passcode. Just found out on Friday that she'd done the same thing with both my iPad and cell phone, of which I didn't think she knew the passcode.
So, because she's continually breaking the rules, we took her cell phone away and grounded her from seeing her boyfriend for 2 weeks. Well, she had a birthday party on Friday night to attend that was about 3 miles from our house, so we allowed her to drive there and straight back. I'd read on her cell phone that the friend who's party it was had texted her and said that if her boyfriend came, he'd been the only guy in attendance. Definite red flag. My husband and I got in the car and drove to the restaurant. We spotted her boyfriend's vehicle parked at the complete opposite end of the parking lot. We decided to watch and wait. Sure enough, an hour later, we saw the two of them walk out of the restaurant separately. We drove over to where her BF's car was parked. He had a hoodie pulled over his head almost as to hide himself. He came over and started laughing. I was spitting nails! We told him that's why we can't trust him...because he's constantly going behind our backs! He went on to say that we have the bar set too high for our daughter and that's WE'RE pushing her away. I just love getting parenting advice from a 17 year old drop-out!
We said what we wanted to say to him, even though he was extremely rude and disrespectful. We drove over to where our daughter was parked and he followed behind us! I got out and told him he'd better be on his way ASAP and he drove off. I can't tell you how hurt, angry and disappointed we felt because of how our daughter had disrespected us, again! She, of course, was furious with us and moped all weekend long.
Well, this afternoon, she asked to get on the computer so that she could work on a project for school. We have a password on it that she doesn't know, so my husband had to sign-in for her. He told her to NOT get on the computer and talk with her boyfriend. They are to have ZERO contact for 2 weeks. She agreed. My husband got his iPad and noticed that she was online...on FB. He went upstairs and she was chatting with her BF! It wasn't pretty, to say the least! My husband and I were very upset! She now has 3 extra days added to her grounding. She thinks we're being SO UNFAIR, but we have to put the hammer down or she'll never learn! Do you think we were out-of-line? What would you have done? She and her BF simply can't be trusted, at all. It's tearing our family to pieces! If he's such a winner, why is that the case?