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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

**edit 2** well that was quick

Posted by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 11:46 AM
  • 46 Replies
DH and I are at our wits end. Our daughter is 15, almost 16 and raising hell. Lately she's been sneaking off to see her 17 yr old BF. She's been skipping school and even had the gall to say she was moving into his house! We grounded her, took her phone, laptop, and her bedroom door. Fast forward three months. months escalates to her sneaking out her bedroom window and going to the boyfriends. Of course the alarm went off. So we called the police to drag her back. When they finally made contact with DD, she answered the door completely naked!Naturally she was arrested and brought back to us but needless to say I was livid after reading the report. DH and I were adamant about pressing statutory rape charges on the BF, but the police said they had to be caught in the act and our daughter was of age to refuse s DNA sample kit. We pulled her out of school to homeschool her but we can't just keep her locked in her room 7 days a week.

Fast forward to last night, she sneaks out and is obviously gone again. Apparently her boyfriend has supplied her with a phone because she keeps posting on Facebook, rubbing her carelessness in our faces. Saying things like "being fucked is amazing" "silk sheets and squirting Mmm ". We didnt raise her like that!. We've done nothing to push DD away and make her act like This. We had an open line of communication, had the sex talk many times and how to stay safe, always involved in her life, supported her, taught her during teachable moments, etc. I'm so distraught over This and Well....DH is about to kill the boyfriend.

Just got a call from the boyfriend's mother yelling at us saying we dont supply DD with money when she asks! That we should get better jobs to support out daughter, that she is going to call CPS. on us. For future reference I work as a pharmacy tech and my husband works for a warehouse (making 16+ an hour weekly ). We both make great money, her boy has just turned DD into a brat! What do I do, This bitch is crazy and my daughter's welfare is at stake.

**EDIT 1** : apparently DD thinks they're getting married. Just checked her Facebook and it says engaged, she's gushing about him proposing. She has a picture of a rig...I tried to tinyeye it, the picture is legit: (. Can This day get any worse?

**EDIT 2**: just got off the phone and had a long conversation with DD. She calls me at one am This morning crying and begging me to come get her. I ask her why. See has the gall to tell me she's pregnant (great —.—) and she doesn't know who's child it is. Of course I asked her what the hell she means. She tells me "I let Alex talk me into a threesome with his friend who's 19". You did what??? Well apparently the kids mom overhead DD say she was pregnant and heard her sons reaction to DDs baby possibly not being his. She said mom started screaming and calling her a whore, told DD she was never to see her son again and dropped her off at a women's center. Naturally DH now knows, he said we should leave DD there for a week so she learns a lesson: (. I don't disagree but I also don't want to abandon my child. This girl is going to be the death of me. I also have to have a talk with Alex's mom about him writing about DD on fb.
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 11:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Oct. 28, 2013 at 11:58 AM

Boarding school?  




atlmom2
by Susie on Oct. 28, 2013 at 12:02 PM
Counseling.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Coqui17
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 12:04 PM

I dont know what state you live in, but the BFs parents should be arrested for harboring a juvenile. There are laws that should cover that, you just can't let some random kids move in without parent's consent.  The statutory rape charge is the wrong way to go, as that is just going to push her towards him more. You can keep her locked in 24/7, if you choose to. That may be the only thing that could save her. Other than that, keep reporting her sneaking out, report her missing school, and any other illegal activities. A juvenile home and counseling may be what wakes her up.

JohnnysGirl27
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 12:07 PM

Do you guys have other kids too?

Gizmo_tron
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 12:22 PM
We have a 5 yr old little boy, but he doesn't understand why she's leaving so her rubbing off on himisnt a concern. I can't lock her in her room, That's child abuse, and clearly she still finds a way out :(. We asked the police about the boyfriends mother, as long as DD is a welcome guest, It's nit a crime.
drfink
by Emily on Oct. 28, 2013 at 1:20 PM


Quoting Gizmo_tron:

We have a 5 yr old little boy, but he doesn't understand why she's leaving so her rubbing off on himisnt a concern. I can't lock her in her room, That's child abuse, and clearly she still finds a way out :(. We asked the police about the boyfriends mother, as long as DD is a welcome guest, It's nit a crime.

I find that hard to believe that she is a minor and his mom can harbor her.I am a former volunteer ,but certified ,juvenile probation officer.Here a minor in a different home is a big stick used by police to get careless parents of friends to suddenly care and not allow the minor over.The law here doesn't care if the minor is welcome in a different home if the parents or legal guardians don't want the minor in that home.

Plus CPS will fall down laughing that both of you re fully employed making 40 ,000 plus a year.As long as there is a proper roof ,utilities ,food and clothing they don't care if she has "spending " money.

Besides does the bf 's mother or your daughter understand unless there is physical harm ,you will only be inspected and if you were to continue to fail...you won't be arrested but your daughter would be removed and put in a group home or foster care.People are idiots that try to use CPS with false allegations against parents....the kids get hurt the most.

Gizmo_tron
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 1:38 PM
Quoting drfink:

Quoting Gizmo_tron:We have a 5 yr old little boy, but he doesn't understand why she's leaving so her rubbing off on himisnt a concern. I can't lock her in her room, That's child abuse, and clearly she still finds a way out :(. We asked the police about the boyfriends mother, as long as DD is a welcome guest, It's nit a crime.

I find that hard to believe that she is a minor and his mom can harbor her.I am a former volunteer ,but certified ,juvenile probation officer.Here a minor in a different home is a big stick used by police to get careless parents of friends to suddenly care and not allow the minor over.The law here doesn't care if the minor is welcome in a different home if the parents or legal guardians don't want the minor in that home.

Plus CPS will fall down laughing that both of you re fully employed making 40 ,000 plus a year.As long as there is a proper roof ,utilities ,food and clothing they don't care if she has "spending " money.

Besides does the bf 's mother or your daughter understand unless there is physical harm ,you will only be inspected and if you were to continue to fail...you won't be arrested but your daughter would be removed and put in a group home or foster care.People are idiots that try to use CPS with false allegations against parents....the kids get hurt the most.




We live in a town of about 1000 people and the boyfriend lives an hour away. So needless to say our law enforcement force is small and we're overseen by the sheriff. So It's what we say versus what she says. DH and I say dd is a run away, bfs mom says she was invited. They don't want to deal with us much. Oh I know, That's why I said she's crazy. She is.
tyfry7496
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 2:08 PM
2 moms liked this
Maybe you just need to let her hot rock bottom. Let her fail. It's the hardest thing in the world to do to our children but sometimes that's what they need to see they are screwing up their lives.

My niece is 16 and doing the same thing. Everyone has stopped nagging her, stopped giving her money, rides, etc. She had to get a job because no one is supplying her with money. Hopefully she will learn before it's too late. The parents know where she is, that she's safe but they're not playing into her games. Yes, she's playing games because she's not getting her way at home. She thinks she can survive on her own.
Gizmo_tron
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 2:32 PM
Quoting tyfry7496:

Maybe you just need to let her hot rock bottom. Let her fail. It's the hardest thing in the world to do to our children but sometimes that's what they need to see they are screwing up their lives.

My niece is 16 and doing the same thing. Everyone has stopped nagging her, stopped giving her money, rides, etc. She had to get a job because no one is supplying her with money. Hopefully she will learn before it's too late. The parents know where she is, that she's safe but they're not playing into her games. Yes, she's playing games because she's not getting her way at home. She thinks she can survive on her own.



I don't wantbto see her fail: (. Also she's not old enough to work yet so I won't sign the emancipation form for her. That and I know DD wouldnt just fail, she'd crash, burn and never recover. We have by No means sheltered her from the ways of the world, but she servant live off in This fantasy world that she and This boyfriend will get married and everything will be OK. She wentoff the deep end when I told her of he really loved her he would wait until he had a place of hhis own instead of asking her to move in with him and his parents.
OHgirlinCA
by Bronze Member on Oct. 28, 2013 at 2:36 PM

 Family counseling

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