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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

If you are or if you were single

Posted by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 8:37 PM
Ida
  • 42 Replies

 would you allow your kids to prevent you from getting married until they were 18 or older and on their own.

I know several people who allow their teens to run their love life and tell them who they can date and try to break them up because they are brats.

by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 8:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Barabell
by Barbara on Oct. 28, 2013 at 9:22 PM
1 mom liked this

Not single.

I'm in charge of my own life, not my kid. But if my child had some kind of emotional disorder where it would make life easier for me to wait, then I would take that into my consider of when I would get married.

drfink
by Emily on Oct. 28, 2013 at 9:50 PM

yup ,a parents commitment to their children far out way a love life.

Quoting Barabell:

Not single.

I'm in charge of my own life, not my kid. But if my child had some kind of emotional disorder where it would make life easier for me to wait, then I would take that into my consider of when I would get married.


boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Oct. 28, 2013 at 11:09 PM

I'm not single.     My answer would depend on the situation.   I can't imagine marrying someone that my children did not like.

I met my DH when my son (whom Dh later adopted) was not yet two years old.   DH remembers me telling him point blank before he met him...  "My baby boy has to like you....or we have no future."   He loved him from Day 1, luckily!          On the other hand, DH had two pre teens who, due to their Mom's influence, refused to give me a chance.   His daughter truly wanted to break us up and he refused to allow it.   They lived with their Mom and visited us on weekends.    He felt that he deserved his own happiness and his older kids would have to accept that. 




02nana07
by Ida on Oct. 28, 2013 at 11:36 PM

 I have friends that are single because their teen and older children disrespect the mother. 

The guy she was dating got her to stand up to them and make them show her respect. 

She would spend every penny on them and they treated her awful. 

I have several friends like this and was wondering if I was the only one who wouldn't let my kids make me sit home alone and miserable while they are out enjoying life.

Quoting Barabell:

Not single.

I'm in charge of my own life, not my kid. But if my child had some kind of emotional disorder where it would make life easier for me to wait, then I would take that into my consider of when I would get married.

 

02nana07
by Ida on Oct. 28, 2013 at 11:40 PM

 So how long should a parent be alone and let the child control who they see or marry is there an age you think the parent should take back control of their own life.  I do understand if there is a problem with the child but not in the case of the friends I see that are so miserable

Quoting drfink:

yup ,a parents commitment to their children far out way a love life.

Quoting Barabell:

Not single.

I'm in charge of my own life, not my kid. But if my child had some kind of emotional disorder where it would make life easier for me to wait, then I would take that into my consider of when I would get married.


 

02nana07
by Ida on Oct. 28, 2013 at 11:43 PM

 I agree what if the teens were just selfish brats and didn't want anyone to take away the way they treated their mother and how she gave them everything and did everything for them.

Quoting boys2men2soon:

I'm not single.     My answer would depend on the situation.   I can't imagine marrying someone that my children did not like.

I met my DH when my son (whom Dh later adopted) was not yet two years old.   DH remembers me telling him point blank before he met him...  "My baby boy has to like you....or we have no future."   He loved him from Day 1, luckily!          On the other hand, DH had two pre teens who, due to their Mom's influence, refused to give me a chance.   His daughter truly wanted to break us up and he refused to allow it.   They lived with their Mom and visited us on weekends.    He felt that he deserved his own happiness and his older kids would have to accept that. 

 

drfink
by Emily on Oct. 28, 2013 at 11:53 PM

I don't think a parent should spend anytime with someone that causes conflict within the home.It is a very short time till kids are adults ,after they are 18 ,out of high school then the parent has forever to live with or marry someone.I strongly feel once you have a child ,the child is the priority.Clearly if a parent is single and looking for a new love ,it is clear that husbands ,wives ,bf's and gf's can happen more than once...even if someone is widowed or a widower but a kid /teen only has A parent.

We often tell parents here to tell kids to wait...if they are really in love it will wait till after h.s. or college.....as adults surely if it is real and forever love it also can wait.

Parent and child....anyone else is secondary.

Quoting 02nana07:

 So how long should a parent be alone and let the child control who they see or marry is there an age you think the parent should take back control of their own life.  I do understand if there is a problem with the child but not in the case of the friends I see that are so miserable

Quoting drfink:

yup ,a parents commitment to their children far out way a love life.

Quoting Barabell:

Not single.

I'm in charge of my own life, not my kid. But if my child had some kind of emotional disorder where it would make life easier for me to wait, then I would take that into my consider of when I would get married.


 


bizzeemom2717
by on Oct. 29, 2013 at 1:59 AM
No I married my current husband of almost 15 years when my kids were 1 and 6. He adopted them. I would have deprived ALL of us of a family
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suesues
by Silver Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 7:34 AM
1 mom liked this

been there done that it stinks I was widowed 5 yrs started dating son hated the idea feel in  love got engaged son still not happy got marred last yr kids 21 19 his 21 my son still not happy. to bad he is an adult and you cant just keep waiting for them to be ok with mom dating it will never happen. Be strong communicate and live your life kids will be gone you will be all alone DONT WAIT!

gonecrazi
by on Oct. 29, 2013 at 12:37 PM

 No. I did remarry.

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