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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Need advice for my son

Posted by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 9:42 AM
  • 4 Replies

I'm having issues with my 16 year old son.He does not want to go to school or get a job.He told me the child support he gets a month takes care of him until he's 18.Well that didn't go over very well at all.I told him he goes to school or get him a job he's out of my house.If you can't follow my rules than you get your own and figure it out.Well after all of that he blames it all on me cause I was the one who raised him now remember his dad wont do a thing for him.I also have not had a good marriage we argued a lot and was abusive.I can fully understand that he doesnt want to deal with that.Hut didnt want to listis step dad did try to help him get on right track but didnt want to listen unless he was giving him thingd like money or ps3 etc.We have been seperated for 5 months and husband wants to come back but my son told me he wouldnt live with me if he comes back.I have had enough of both sides and dont know what to do.I know my son should come first but he doesnt want to listen to me espically when his stepdad isnt here.Please any advice will help.Sorry so long.

by on Nov. 8, 2013 at 9:42 AM
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Replies (1-4):
02nana07
by Ida on Nov. 8, 2013 at 11:46 AM

 I know in our state child support stops if a child turns 18 or quits school so tell him if he wants to quit school he will get a job to pay his way since he wants to act like an adult.

atlmom2
by Susie on Nov. 8, 2013 at 12:16 PM
This, he has long road ahead. Gonna have to deal with the school of hard knocks.


Quoting 02nana07:

 I know in our state child support stops if a child turns 18 or quits school so tell him if he wants to quit school he will get a job to pay his way since he wants to act like an adult.


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deb51980
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:50 AM
1 mom liked this

I'd say that you have a legal obligation to provide food and shelter until he is 18....so I doubt you can carry through on your threat to throw him out.

I think your best bet is to provide him food and shelter and precious little else.  If he wants more, then he has to do more.

I agree that he has some hard lessons ahead of him but it is what it is.

JessicaR7
by Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 1:45 PM

Most of us have a legal obligation to our children until they turn 18.  You are required to provide certain things but I assume he has a fair amount of privileges.  You've made your mistakes but I wouldn't harp on them.  You say your sorry and move on, I feel like he is using that to manipulate you.  Don't allow him to dictate your life.  He has to go to school, I'd make that non-negotiable.  If he wants to get his driver's license, he has to go to school.  If he wants to use the computer, he has to go to school.  If he wants a cell phone, he has to go to school.  The cell phone is like the holy grail at our house.  I have had my daughter refuse to give me the cell phone and in one instance we told her if you do this next time, this is what will happen...she did it and we just shut off the cell service without telling her.  We also told her she had to pay us a certain amount to reactivate it.  Stuff like that puts the control back in your court.  Good luck!

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