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Help! My 17 year old manipulates me into letting him take my car

Posted by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 12:42 AM
  • 23 Replies

He just got his license a week ago.  He'a asked to borrow the car a few times now and more fequently.  I feel very nervous because he's driving others kids around town too.  I lecture him about the consequences and somehow he persists and I just gave in.  Now I won't relax until he comes home.  I know I should just say no, in fact the only reason I paid $$470 for  insurance is so he can take his test.  Now he needs to earn money to buy his own car. I told him I'd match him dollar for dollar that he earns.  PLEASE ADVISE. I'm a single mom on a low income too.  If anyone knows of a good old 4 cylinder for sale please let me know 

by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 12:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 1:21 AM

Say no. That's all the advice I can give you - Your car your rules. Tell him if he dares to take the car without your knowledge/consent you WILL take his licence and shred it.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 1:26 AM
3 moms liked this
In Ca it is illegal for kids to drive other kids around unless they are siblings and have a letter from mom and dad with them.

Say no. Lock up the keys.

Two last words....mommy balls!
deb51980
by Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:48 AM

It sounds as if you are being co-dependant here.  Look it up on the net and decide for yourself.

You have very good cause to be nervous while he is out.  Does your state have restrictions on new drivers (like with passengers and curfew)?  If he being compliant to the law?

If his use of the car is not necessary, then put your foot down and say no.  If he kicks up a big fuss, point out that that emotional immaturity is all the more reason for you to say no.

good luck.

atlmom2
by Susie on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:27 AM
Say no. Give him rules about the car. Or just tell him if he breaks your rules, no driving at all.
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JessicaR7
by Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 1:36 PM
1 mom liked this

First rule would be no more than one friend at a time.  He is a new driver and distractions should be limited.  Letting him use the car is a huge privilege, that means his grades must be up and his behavior good at home and school.  He also must complete things around the house, i.e. dishes, laundry, picking up, etc.  He has to 'earn' using the car.  And there are curfews for using the car. He can run errands and go to the grocery store for you.   Also, ask him what happens if he wrecks the car?  I assume it's the only car.  Ask him who will cover the repairs and make sure you don't miss work?  If he can't come up with a solution for fixing that problem you are well within your rights to say no car use at all.  Make it clear if he gets a ticket or does get in a wreck, he needs to come up with the money for the repairs or for the ticket.

Purplepanda170
by Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 3:46 PM

You need to lay down the law.  You are the mom, don't forget that.  The way I feel about it is, it is not safe for him to be driving other people around since he just got his license.  My son got his license earlier this year as well, he has been driving for a few months now on his own.  I always worry when he goes out, but he knows he is not to have any of his friends in the car with him.  We did buy him a used car, so I would not be without mine.  We did get a good deal, just keep looking and you will find something that suits you and him.  My hubby and I did make him get a job though.  That will also help, he will be too busy to cart other people around.  

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 3:55 PM

Just say no.

gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 5:05 PM

And from the OP's profile, she's in CA. 

Tell him NO. He's looking to get his license revoked before he's had it a month!

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

In Ca it is illegal for kids to drive other kids around unless they are siblings and have a letter from mom and dad with them.

Say no. Lock up the keys.

Two last words....mommy balls!


Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 6:35 PM

I rarely think to look at profiles...lol

If you are on a provisional license (aka any driver under 18) and you get cited, you cacn lose your license until you are at least 18 and as long as age of 21. 


Quoting gdiamante:

And from the OP's profile, she's in CA. 

Tell him NO. He's looking to get his license revoked before he's had it a month!

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

In Ca it is illegal for kids to drive other kids around unless they are siblings and have a letter from mom and dad with them.

Say no. Lock up the keys.

Two last words....mommy balls!

 


 

Jinx - Homeschooling, Scouting & Karate butt-kicking  Mom to Life Scout Ian 1/982nd Class Sean 9/00, Junior GS Heidi 4/03. Wife to Joe & Alpha to German Shepherd Spazz.

02nana07
by Ida on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:58 PM

 Is it legal for him to have passengers that are under a certain age with him just getting his license you better check the law before he ends up getting your car impounded

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