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Advice Needed: My 18 yo son is home from being gone 1...

My 18 yo son is home from being gone 1 1/2 months at boot camp. He was discharged for medical reasons. He is not motivated to do anything! We have talked to him several times regarding getting a job, do something with friends,etc. but he won't. Any suggestions?

by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 2:07 PM
Replies (11-16):
ConnieBonjiovi
by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:07 AM

I have talked with him regarding how he feels about being discharged and I know that he must feel down about it but the problem is that he doesn't really open up so it is just me assuming how he feels. We have told him over and over again that he needs to find a job or go to college and that he needs to move on but things are not moving! He has gone to a therapist before he left and if he doesn't open up to us then we've decided to go to the therapist again as a family first. I agree with a deadline also. I am just not sure how to handle an 18 year old. Like do I take away his Xbox? Or forbid him to be in his room? What else can I do????

02nana07
by Ida on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:47 PM

 sounds like he is depressed I wouldn't push him in a negative way try to build his self esteem and make him feel important. 

bizzeemom2717
by on Nov. 13, 2013 at 1:52 AM
I agree with the timeline
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Barabell
by Barbara on Nov. 13, 2013 at 10:18 PM


Quoting ConnieBonjiovi:

I have talked with him regarding how he feels about being discharged and I know that he must feel down about it but the problem is that he doesn't really open up so it is just me assuming how he feels. We have told him over and over again that he needs to find a job or go to college and that he needs to move on but things are not moving! He has gone to a therapist before he left and if he doesn't open up to us then we've decided to go to the therapist again as a family first. I agree with a deadline also. I am just not sure how to handle an 18 year old. Like do I take away his Xbox? Or forbid him to be in his room? What else can I do????

Your house, your rules. I would give him a timeline and if he doesn't start contributing to the household or going to school, then you can take away any items you want to enforce it. Even if it's "his" Xbox, it's running off electricity and Wi-Fi that you are paying for.

Mom_to_Lincoln
by on Nov. 14, 2013 at 3:12 PM

you cant really force him to get a job but you can defiantly talk to him more. Ask him questions like "How many jobs have you applied for today? or have you had any call backs for interviews? You can also ask him what kinds of jobs he would like to do or if he has any interest in college? communication is key and it's best to talk to him while he is not paying a video game or being distracted by other things or he wont really pay much attention to it. If you have to turn the internet and cable off for a few day's to get his attention then do it

csxt99
by Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 12:28 AM


That would have scared me to death.  Marines go in first and 6'9" makes for a big target.

Quoting proudmother5946:

My son was discharged from Marine boot camp for medical reasons. He was bummed about it. But he got over it. Personally I never wanted him in the military. Marines were the only ones who would take him. Too big for a tank, submarine or an airplane. He's 6'9".



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