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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Is she bulimic?

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2013 at 2:21 PM
  • 11 Replies

I have a feeling that my daughter 15 is bulimic.  I have seen some signs over the past few years and a couple of years ago when she was 13 I called her out on it and she got so angry, defensive and outraged that it ended up not being a good scene at all.

Things started to dwindle a little bit but now I am seeing signs again.  For example, she will go to the bathroom for 20 minutes at a time shortly after dinner but there will be no smell coming from the bathroom as if she was in there doing something else.  She has claimed to feel "pukey" or sick a lot this school year since starting high school and is missing a lot of school, it's becoming like once every week it seems. 

Today she texts me and asks me only an hour after school started to go pick her up because she is feeling "pukey and anxious."  I texted her back saying that she really needs to start taking her vitamins daily going forward because she has been sick a lot.  She responded "I think I need to completely change my diet, I want to feel healthy."

Last night when she was in the bathroom and I was close by, I could have swore I heard her throwing up.  I am getting very concerned.

Her and I are heading out of town for a concert this weekend just the two of us and I was thinking maybe I should bring something up, but I'm not sure how to go about it because she gets very defensive.  And, there is a possibility I could be wrong, but I'm not sure I want to take the chance of not doing anything then end up being right and something happening to her.

Any suggestions?  Thank you in advance for your input.

by on Nov. 19, 2013 at 2:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Nov. 19, 2013 at 2:24 PM
Have her evaluated. The more it continues the more it will hurt her and the harder to overcome. It is very serious.
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createive
by Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 2:34 PM

I agree with having her evaluated or having her talk to someone. or see her DR she may have a prblem with her stomach.

My sister was a lifetime anorexic and bulemic. She never admitted to feeling ill, puky, etc.

She would leave the table after dinner pretty much right away away and be in there as long as it took to eliminiate the food.

I'd keep on it. Once they get into things like this it can be TOUGH to quit.

02nana07
by Ida on Nov. 19, 2013 at 4:01 PM

 Take her to a dr for her stomach problems tell her it isn't good and can damage her esophagus if she is throwing up to much. 

Don't tell her you suspect anything just tell her you are worried her stomach issues could be serious since she is missing school due to them.

Tell the dr what you suspect without your daughter knowing and let her figure it out.

The reason I say don't mention it to your daughter is you don't want her defensive

woodswalker
by Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 5:49 PM

I would call the pedi. and tell them your suspicions.   They can recommend a good therapist.   You can just tell her you are having her see a therapist because you're concerned that her stomach problems may be stress related.   But tell the therapist in private or on the phone what you suspect.

chattycassie
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 6:02 PM

 I would talk to her. Maybe she is sick. Talk to her and then take her to see a DR.

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Nov. 19, 2013 at 6:15 PM

I agree with having her evaluated.

I would also be concerned that stress/anxiety about high school may be making her physically ill. Is she having issues with anything at school?

bexsmum
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 7:47 PM

First off if she is truely bulimic, be prepared for a long and hard road. There is nothing you can do to help her until she is ready to admit she has a problem. The hardest step she will make is to admit she has a problem.

That being said take her to the dentist and have him evaluate her the back of her front teeth. The acid form her stomach will erode the teeth and leave tell tale signs of forced vomiting. When you call the dentist explain to the recepetionist what you suspect and what you looking for.  Also an appointment with her family Dr. is not a bad idea as he will have her records and will see if there has been any weight fluctuation.  Looking at conselling will only work if SHE is wiling to communicate with the consellor. You can't force her to accept help until she is ready.  I have run this race and its not a sprint its a marathon.

My DD is in recovery and has been for 18 months now and is doing FANTASTIC. It wasn't always so rosy she stuggled with body image and weight issues all through highschool. She is a tiny women at 21 but she didn't see herself that way for a long time. ED are all about control it's something that she can control and NO ONE can make her eat if she chooses not to.

Has she been distancing herself from friends,a bad breakup with a BF, stressed about school or assignments. ANY of these could be contributing factors in her wanting to control her own enviroment. ED are a huge issues for the youth of today both boys and girls feel they need to be model perfect and do eveything and anything to achieve that look.

NobleStepMom
by on Nov. 19, 2013 at 8:48 PM

Yes we have been having major issues lately.  So I should confess that this is my SD15, but I didn't want to say that because I wanted to get true helpful responses without people saying "let DH and BM deal with it."  

BM is trying to coerce her to move in with her, trying to pull her from her stable home with us.  She started high school this year (which where we live starts in Grade 10).  She is failing two of her classes, she started out having a rough start with her friends, and now she is being torn between her Mom and Dad (she has lived with us permanently for almost 5 years because BM had drug/children's aid issues).  When I first thought this was happening was whe BM was falling off the deep end.  Then things seemed to be getting better and I didn't really notice anything and now I am seeing signs of it again.

I am actively involved in her life as one of her parents and I am maybe the more attentive of the three of us (DH and BM).  This is why I am reaching out because she is my only child, biological or not, and I care about her deeply and if she is struggling with this then I want to make sure things work out alright, however that looks - not quite sure right now.

That's a good suggestion about the dentist - she is due for her cleaning anyways so it would be a good time.  I didn't even think about that but makes total sense, thank you so much.  I will make sure to have them check.



Quoting bexsmum:

Has she been distancing herself from friends,a bad breakup with a BF, stressed about school or assignments. ANY of these could be contributing factors in her wanting to control her own enviroment. ED are a huge issues for the youth of today both boys and girls feel they need to be model perfect and do eveything and anything to achieve that look.



drfink
by Emily on Nov. 19, 2013 at 10:01 PM

I was going to suggest the dentist also.

I was bulimic for awhile as a young teen till I was 16.My parents divorce was horrid .My dad was a cheater and finally left for good for one of her friends...heh ...friend.They spared us nothing in their hate for each other.My sister is three years younger and started sucking her thumb as she slept.She had to get braces again.

A good therapist is a wonder in these situations.Now there are therapists that specialize in teens with bulimia.For us a good therapist and my maternal grandparents stepping in and providing calm changed everything for the better.

Good luck ,I hope your constant loving presence and therapy can help her feel better.

Quoting NobleStepMom:

Yes we have been having major issues lately.  So I should confess that this is my SD15, but I didn't want to say that because I wanted to get true helpful responses without people saying "let DH and BM deal with it."  

BM is trying to coerce her to move in with her, trying to pull her from her stable home with us.  She started high school this year (which where we live starts in Grade 10).  She is failing two of her classes, she started out having a rough start with her friends, and now she is being torn between her Mom and Dad (she has lived with us permanently for almost 5 years because BM had drug/children's aid issues).  When I first thought this was happening was whe BM was falling off the deep end.  Then things seemed to be getting better and I didn't really notice anything and now I am seeing signs of it again.

I am actively involved in her life as one of her parents and I am maybe the more attentive of the three of us (DH and BM).  This is why I am reaching out because she is my only child, biological or not, and I care about her deeply and if she is struggling with this then I want to make sure things work out alright, however that looks - not quite sure right now.

That's a good suggestion about the dentist - she is due for her cleaning anyways so it would be a good time.  I didn't even think about that but makes total sense, thank you so much.  I will make sure to have them check.



Quoting bexsmum:

Has she been distancing herself from friends,a bad breakup with a BF, stressed about school or assignments. ANY of these could be contributing factors in her wanting to control her own enviroment. ED are a huge issues for the youth of today both boys and girls feel they need to be model perfect and do eveything and anything to achieve that look.




Mrsatwell19
by New Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 12:42 AM
The dentist or the pedi would be a wonderful Idea the dentist can tell if there has been constant puking because of the enamel will be severely worn away from the acid and your pedi can help too just depends u are the mother and I'm not sure how to start the convo because I've never had this or had to deal with it
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