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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Am I being too overprotective?

Posted by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 9:50 AM
  • 36 Replies

I've checked with the Mom and she says she is fine with it. I have no problem with my dd hanging around sports/school etc. there is always an adult around. I'm not overly protective that way at all. She gets a lot of leash that way and always has, it's just this 4 kids home alone for 2 hours (I just feel uneasy about it). My 15 yo dd had called me yesterday after school saying that a friend had invited her over before basketball practice. I wish there wasn't a delay of 2 hours before practice on Tues & Thurs. but there is. We live 12 miles away from school too. My dd was calling from the school phone and I tried to call the school back they couldn't locate her so she had probably left. She didn't have her phone so I couldn't call her back on that to ask her if it was alright with her friends parents she hung up so fast.We do know the parents since kindergarten and have for years and years through sports but not well enough to call them friends of ours (if that makes sense). I've checked with the Mom and she says she is fine with it. They seem like decent parents. They have this planned for Thursday too. There r 3 girls and her brother home alone. All they did was watch tv & eat but I just feel 'uneasy' about it. When I first asked if the girls parents knew, she said yes. Then I found out they DIDN'T KNOW that her friend said she 'they wouldn't care'. Well and they r eating their food too. Bet they wouldn't be ok to have them have OUR kid 2 times a week eating their food and what r they watching on tv, I wonder? I am afraid this girls parents don't even know in the first place & 3 girls left alone for 2 hrs 2 times a week and no supervision but maybe they r old enough? Maybe I'm being too overly protective? I know the one girl watches all the shows like gossip girls & pretty little liars but maybe that would be ok when they r watching them they can critique them right? R u or have u been always ok with this sort of thing with your girls?

by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 9:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 9:54 AM

Are you at home after school ? If so go pick them up and bring them to your house in between. Most likely they are fine but since you don't know them or the parents  I might be inclined to call and talk about it.If you do and they are OK with it send a snack for all the kids there once a week.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 10:25 AM
High schoolers, I would trust to be home for a couple hours, even with friends.

I WOULD call and talk to the parents. If this is going to be a habit or 2x weekly thing, I would offer to send food/snacks or some $ for food.
luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 10:28 AM
3 moms liked this

I would talk to the parents as a courtesy, but beyond that I don't see the problem.

Our set up was similar so sometimes the kids would go to friends houses that were closer or they would just hang around the school. 

She's 15, not 5, if you can't trust her for a couple hours 2 times a week, then there are bigger issue's.

PurpleHazey
by on Nov. 20, 2013 at 10:31 AM
1 mom liked this

I am like this, if I don't know the family I will not let her go.

Amy_M
by New Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 10:34 AM

I would talk with the parents and if they are ok with it, I would be too.  You can always take a drive by and check up on them.

atlmom2
by Susie on Nov. 20, 2013 at 11:21 AM
1 mom liked this
I did too. Gotta loosen the leash in HS, even 8th grade. No boyfriends for my girls at home, but of course my DD's and girlfriends stayed at the house alone some. My dd's were allowed to stay home alone some starting in 5th grade.


Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

High schoolers, I would trust to be home for a couple hours, even with friends.



I WOULD call and talk to the parents. If this is going to be a habit or 2x weekly thing, I would offer to send food/snacks or some $ for food.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
atlmom2
by Susie on Nov. 20, 2013 at 11:23 AM
Gossip girls and Pretty Little Liars are really not bad shows for High schoolers. I guess we all have different opinions. Many start watching R movies in middle school. I don't agree with that but those shows are PG, not R.


Quoting cat4458:

I've checked with the Mom and she says she is fine with it. I have no problem with my dd hanging around sports/school etc. there is always an adult around. I'm not overly protective that way at all. She gets a lot of leash that way and always has, it's just this 4 kids home alone for 2 hours (I just feel uneasy about it). My 15 yo dd had called me yesterday after school saying that a friend had invited her over before basketball practice. I wish there wasn't a delay of 2 hours before practice on Tues & Thurs. but there is. We live 12 miles away from school too. My dd was calling from the school phone and I tried to call the school back they couldn't locate her so she had probably left. She didn't have her phone so I couldn't call her back on that to ask her if it was alright with her friends parents she hung up so fast.We do know the parents since kindergarten and have for years and years through sports but not well enough to call them friends of ours (if that makes sense). They seem like decent parents. They have this planned for Thursday too. There r 3 girls and her brother home alone. All they did was watch tv & eat but I just feel 'uneasy' about it. When I first asked if the girls parents knew, she said yes. Then I found out they DIDN'T KNOW that her friend said she 'they wouldn't care'. Well and they r eating their food too. Bet they wouldn't be ok to have them have OUR kid 2 times a week eating their food and what r they watching on tv, I wonder? I am afraid this girls parents don't even know in the first place & 3 girls left alone for 2 hrs 2 times a week and no supervision but maybe they r old enough? Maybe I'm being too overly protective? I know the one girl watches all the shows like gossip girls & pretty little liars but maybe that would be ok when they r watching them they can critique them right? R u or have u been always ok with this sort of thing with your girls?


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Msgme
by Bronze Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 11:47 AM

I would check if it was okay with the parents.  As long as they say its fine Iw ould not have a problem.  I would send along snacks or money to buy snacks.  As for what they are watching on TV  I have no restrictions with my 15 year old.  Well Porn would be the only exception to that.  As for them being alone  I trust my dd.  I would probably check up on them every now and again just so they know i can show up at any time.  Just to make sure boys are not around.  She has a few friends who are not exactly opposed to their 14/15 year old daughters having sex in their home 

bexsmum
by Bronze Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 5:21 PM

I don't see the problem with BUT it was always my house that they came too. We as parents weren't home either as both DH and I work. The biggie is the food consumption I know as the parent who fed these small garbage disposal they can and will go through a lot. Call the mum and ask if you can send something over for them to snack on once in a while. I know with the girls it wasn't abnormal to call the 5$ pizza place after school and munch away on that.

Momofmenagerie
by Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 5:30 PM
If they can babysit smaller children, I'd say they rare capable of hanging out together in a group for a couple if hours before a practice.
The leash has to get a bit longer as the grow until they screw up and have to reearn trust.

As far as the food issue, I'd send her with a ten dollar bill every two week, or 20 a month and be done with it.
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