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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Conflicted

Posted by on Nov. 27, 2013 at 8:51 AM
  • 10 Replies

 I have a 17 yo son. He recently got his GED, and ever since he has been sitting around the house doing nothing. We have made it clear he has to get a job or be in school to live here. Since he is done with school he has to get a job. He goes once every couple of weeks to put in applications. He was diagnosed with depression and anger issues a few years ago and he is on meds, but he won't take them everyday like he is suppose to. The days he doesn't take them he is rude, disrespectful, and bullies his younger brother. Dh wants to give him a time limit to find a job or send him to live with his dad. His dad is not the most responsible person and doesn't believe ds has any mental issues. I don't know what to do with him. I love my son but I'm quickly getting fed up.

by on Nov. 27, 2013 at 8:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Nov. 27, 2013 at 8:58 AM
1 mom liked this
Take him and make him apply every day somewhere. I would give him a time to get a job. Don't put up with him not taking meds and being rude. Consequences.
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Khanfan
by Member on Nov. 27, 2013 at 10:52 AM

I would agree with your dh.   I wish my parents had taught me, when I was a dificult teen,  what the real world can be like and I imagine I would have listened to them.  I like the old episode of the Cosby show, when the son was wanting to be grown up and his dad acted like the son's landlord in order to prove the point that being out on your own is hard work.  

I too have to take meds that are for depression.  I know the world is still not ready to accept those of us who require more work.  My Mom didn't ask for or get any real help with her issues until she was 65 and even then it was like pulling teeth to get her where she needed to be.  Don't give up, I'm here for you if you need me.

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Nov. 27, 2013 at 5:21 PM

Time limit, and clear cut rules about expectations. Make sure to set it up like a contract and have him sign it. That way he can never say "He didn't know!".

sahlady
by Gold Member on Nov. 27, 2013 at 6:32 PM

my father used to always say "looking for a job is a full time job"

Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on Nov. 27, 2013 at 6:59 PM

I would lock him out of the house from 8 am - 5 pm every day! He can be going to school ,or looking fora job, or volunteering someplace but the house if off limits during business hours.

I agree with the PP who said they need a contract and a date to havea job or be out. I don't care if he goes to a friend's house, or the street or into the military but you will not mooch off of us.

bizzeemom2717
by on Nov. 27, 2013 at 9:59 PM

 This...exactly..:)

Quoting luckysevenwow:

Time limit, and clear cut rules about expectations. Make sure to set it up like a contract and have him sign it. That way he can never say "He didn't know!".

 

02nana07
by Ida on Nov. 29, 2013 at 2:25 PM

 I would set an alarm so he takes his meds the same time every day and that would be one of the conditions of his living with you.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Nov. 29, 2013 at 8:44 PM


Quoting luckysevenwow:

Time limit, and clear cut rules about expectations. Make sure to set it up like a contract and have him sign it. That way he can never say "He didn't know!".

I agree with this!     I will add that as long as he is unemployed, he should earn his keep by helping out more around the house.   Maybe in the contract you can add a list of additional chores he will be responsible for until he finds a job.




Barabell
by Barbara on Dec. 1, 2013 at 3:44 PM


Quoting luckysevenwow:

Time limit, and clear cut rules about expectations. Make sure to set it up like a contract and have him sign it. That way he can never say "He didn't know!".

I also agree with this. Good luck!

drfink
by Emily on Dec. 1, 2013 at 3:55 PM

yup

Quoting boys2men2soon:


Quoting luckysevenwow:

Time limit, and clear cut rules about expectations. Make sure to set it up like a contract and have him sign it. That way he can never say "He didn't know!".

I agree with this!     I will add that as long as he is unemployed, he should earn his keep by helping out more around the house.   Maybe in the contract you can add a list of additional chores he will be responsible for until he finds a job.


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