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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

What to do with dd

Posted by on Nov. 30, 2013 at 3:12 PM
  • 13 Replies

Now my dd is totally being a b*tch and doing and saying anything she can to piss me off. She is blaming me for everything that is a result of HER actions/behaviors. Now she is ignoring me because "you dont do anything for me" and my favorite, "you dont understand me!" I refuse to do anything for her anymore because of her attitude towards me and because she refuses do to ANYTHING to help the household or herself. Her grades suck. She even texted me that she doesnt care about her grades...only her bf's. So, she is going to screw her future for her bf who at this point, wont graduate because of his grades!??? When I try and talk to her, all i get is attitude (and i am not talking a LITTLE). 

Her and her bf are getting stronger because "everyone is against us and we are the only one's who understand each other".

In the past 4 days her bf has been over...all day. This morning i see him being dropped off and i said, no. When i mentioned why, she turned to me with a dirty look. They ended up sitting out in the hallway for 2 hrs. I even texted him that "i dont mind you over but for the past 4 days you been here and i want family time". He texted me back with, "you sound just like MY mom". HIS mom is done with my dd because of the way she has been treating her and her kids, She has been exiled her from her home...but of course, thats HIS MOM'S FAULT...

At this point, I only buy her necessities. I only bring her places like doctor or school, when she misses the bus (maybe). She refuses to get a job but then complains when she wants something or asks me to buy it and i say no. i dont buy her things she dont NEED. She is threatening to move out when she is 18. Fine. But sad thing is that she has NOTHING. No whay to get there. I am out of ideas of what else i can do to encourage/teach her how to survive when she goes out on her own. At this point...she wont.

by on Nov. 30, 2013 at 3:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
gonecrazi
by on Nov. 30, 2013 at 5:40 PM
1 mom liked this

 You seem to be doing the right thing...stand your ground.

GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Nov. 30, 2013 at 7:03 PM
2 moms liked this
You don't say how old she is, but I would have dragged her back inside and asked the boyfriend to go home because DD is grounded. I would also take her phone if she has one. I personally think it's a bad relationship when I hear "it's us against everyone else" because I think of a too dependant relationship. but that is just my opinion.
atlmom2
by Susie on Nov. 30, 2013 at 7:11 PM
Tell the boyfriend to go home and tell dd to stop being rude or boyfriend will never come over. She needs the school of hard knocks.
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Basicrose
by Member on Nov. 30, 2013 at 10:30 PM

 She is 17yrs old. She has a phone. She chose to get her own phone with her bf, who is prone to getting into trouble. (his mother thinks he is "huffing"). I agree with your thought on dependancy. It's gonna suck for her when she gets on her own. I have decided to stay out of their relationship. I dont know if that is the correct approach.  He is, so far, being respectful to my rules...but at home he is a B-I-G problem. It seems that my dd is starting to mimic his attitude. It is frustrating. She refuses to even look at me anymore.


Quoting GleekingOut:

You don't say how old she is, but I would have dragged her back inside and asked the boyfriend to go home because DD is grounded. I would also take her phone if she has one. I personally think it's a bad relationship when I hear "it's us against everyone else" because I think of a too dependant relationship. but that is just my opinion.


 

Basicrose
by Member on Nov. 30, 2013 at 10:36 PM

 That has been done. The problem is is that if i do that, i am afraid that they will find another place to hang out...without supervision. At least being here they can be watched.

My fiance says that, too. (he is sd). No he doesnt discipline, he takes the backseat on that.


Quoting atlmom2:

Tell the boyfriend to go home and tell dd to stop being rude or boyfriend will never come over. She needs the school of hard knocks.


 

gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Dec. 1, 2013 at 11:44 AM
1 mom liked this

Tell her she is out the day she turns 18. You've done all you can. Cut her loose. She needs to learn things the hard way.

Basicrose
by Member on Dec. 1, 2013 at 12:09 PM

 She swears that she will be getting a car and moving to texas when she turns 18. I asked her how bc she has no money and refuses to get a job. Her face dropped.  :-/


Quoting gdiamante:

Tell her she is out the day she turns 18. You've done all you can. Cut her loose. She needs to learn things the hard way.


 

gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Dec. 1, 2013 at 12:15 PM

Good. That's how she learns. For now, you continue to tell her that she's out at age 18. And keep refusing to get her things she does not NEED. Tell her she needs to start researching Obamacare, because she will be required to have health insurance and Texas is on the federal exchange. 

Quoting Basicrose:

 She swears that she will be getting a car and moving to texas when she turns 18. I asked her how bc she has no money and refuses to get a job. Her face dropped.  :-/


Quoting gdiamante:

Tell her she is out the day she turns 18. You've done all you can. Cut her loose. She needs to learn things the hard way.




drfink
by Emily on Dec. 1, 2013 at 1:20 PM

Good advice.If you want and can catch her attention maybe look up cost of living ,apt rent ,bus ...no car and all ,utilities and the avg pay for unskilled work..Continue to remind her she will not recieve any help from you...you will continue to  love her ,she is welcome anytime as long as she is a contributing member with chores ,respect but not as a leach.I say this because I doubt it will end well with this boy and hopefully she will mature from the experience.She will need a safe place.

Quoting gdiamante:

Good. That's how she learns. For now, you continue to tell her that she's out at age 18. And keep refusing to get her things she does not NEED. Tell her she needs to start researching Obamacare, because she will be required to have health insurance and Texas is on the federal exchange. 

Quoting Basicrose:

 She swears that she will be getting a car and moving to texas when she turns 18. I asked her how bc she has no money and refuses to get a job. Her face dropped.  :-/


Quoting gdiamante:

Tell her she is out the day she turns 18. You've done all you can. Cut her loose. She needs to learn things the hard way.





MrsBLB
by Missi on Dec. 1, 2013 at 1:35 PM

I totally agree with these ladies.  Please keep us posted on how things are going.  Good luck

Quoting drfink:

Good advice.If you want and can catch her attention maybe look up cost of living ,apt rent ,bus ...no car and all ,utilities and the avg pay for unskilled work..Continue to remind her she will not recieve any help from you...you will continue to  love her ,she is welcome anytime as long as she is a contributing member with chores ,respect but not as a leach.I say this because I doubt it will end well with this boy and hopefully she will mature from the experience.She will need a safe place.

Quoting gdiamante:

Good. That's how she learns. For now, you continue to tell her that she's out at age 18. And keep refusing to get her things she does not NEED. Tell her she needs to start researching Obamacare, because she will be required to have health insurance and Texas is on the federal exchange. 

Quoting Basicrose:

 She swears that she will be getting a car and moving to texas when she turns 18. I asked her how bc she has no money and refuses to get a job. Her face dropped.  :-/


Quoting gdiamante:

Tell her she is out the day she turns 18. You've done all you can. Cut her loose. She needs to learn things the hard way.






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