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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

What the hell is wrong with me?

Posted by   + Show Post

 I am new here.

I am also in need of other mom's thoughts with teens.

My 16 year old son fell deeply in love for the first time this year. I didn't see it coming and didn't even consider it a possibility for him as the shy and introverted kid he is. So here we are...and I am not "liking" it all. I am not "liking" her either...and I hate saying that and can't believe that I feel like this but it is true...

I am waiting for time to die so that he might find someone else...but than again...

What an insane and new feeling I didn't see coming...

What the hell is wrong with me...?

by on Dec. 2, 2013 at 2:27 AM
Replies (11-20):
GMMC
by Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 3:07 PM

 lol...

Thanks...

Yes...not only is he a 16 year old kid but a 16 year old in love...it is like watching a gong show in the middle of a tornado...he is all over the place...

Thanks again...

Quoting PurpleHazey:

Oh that dreaded puppy love, boys get stupid with those dam girls!  Girls seem to be smarter than the boys...good luck!

 

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Dec. 2, 2013 at 11:44 PM
1 mom liked this

All 16 year old girls are needy. That's the reality of teen love.

MrsBLB
by Missi on Dec. 3, 2013 at 10:33 AM

Hang in there!  Hugs

Quoting GMMC:

 Hi Hanna...

I think you hit the nail on the head. I think I am having a hard time letting go. It was as though he went from 9 to 16 over night and I didn't see it coming. I had a good chuckle one time at the hair salon with him when I asked him what he was going to do, cut it off or keep growing it out. He said to me, that "gf likes it long" so that was that!

I recognize I am having a bit of a hard time with it all however there is "something" about her that I can't explain. I suppose I should be grateful that my son still shares some of the concerns he has with this relationship.

And yes...as a parent...I will need to stand off on the side lines and watch him fall if it comes to that.

Many asked...what is it that I don't like about her...she is very needy, too needy. I shared with my son recently that a healthy relationship should strive for balance. While he is fine to tend to her needs, I encouraged him to take care of himself and not to overload with her stuff.

Oh...heck...as one poster stated...maybe I am just going to be one of those freaky moms that will not like anyone they bring home...!

Time will tell. Thanks to everyone who replied, I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to vent it out some. It is a thought in process just like me!

Cheers!



Quoting Hannahluvsdogs:

It sounds like you're having a hard time letting go...this is another stage he's entering that brings him closer to being an adult and farther from being your little boy. You can talk to him about being with girls who treat him respectfully, he's a teen so he may or may not listen, but as a parent your job is to teach him the skills and tools to deal with life, and then let go and trust that you've taught them enough to be successful on their own.



Christie1952
by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 1:46 PM

You are feeling over protective! Back up a step! You need to just be there for him and hope that you have taught him the correct things.

Niccalyn
by Bronze Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 2:04 PM

I'm not qualified to say what's normal and what's not, but I can say you are definitely NOT the first mom of a boy that I've run into who was having a similar problem!  I remember speaking to a woman at work who literally broke down in tears because her 17-year-old son asked if his girlfriend could attend mom's birthday dinner. I only have girls, and it didn't seem like an unusual request to me, but this mom was HEARTBOKEN.  So, if that kind of reaction is considered 'not normal', you are definitely not alone in your abnormal-ness!

Quoting GMMC:

 Hi lucky...

Oh dear...I am pretty cool with not normal...and honestly...if I ran to a professional each time I had a not normal moment in my life well...there would be no point in leaving the professional's office...

So in the mean time if you don't mind...I will hang here and take stalk of some great moms with some great advice..

Is it not really normal...hhhhmmmm....I don't know...it is a thought that is for sure.....as I said in my post...I feel really embarrassed about feeling like this...Perhaps I should have tagged my post differently like, "I know what the hell is wrong with me but I can't help it and I feel somewhat stupid about it..."

Thanks anyway...

 

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

You should talk to a professional. Your reaction to his dating is not normal.

 

 

courtseanryan
by Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 2:23 PM
My dd has had a few bus and the latest was the only one I didn't like very clingy and needy. Made her feel guilty if she wasn't with him outside of school or work. She was always with him and we (her friends andi) were all wrong about him and saying mean things because we didn't like him. Last week was her birthday and they were supposed to go out with her bf who was home from college for thanksgiving and he got mad and she finally got it and said she was done sacrificing her happiness for him. She went out with her girls and has been seeing her friends since and her brother who is 10 said Courtney is herself again. I asked what he meant and he said she's happy and we see her again

Quoting GMMC:

 Hi Hanna...


I think you hit the nail on the head. I think I am having a hard time letting go. It was as though he went from 9 to 16 over night and I didn't see it coming. I had a good chuckle one time at the hair salon with him when I asked him what he was going to do, cut it off or keep growing it out. He said to me, that "gf likes it long" so that was that!


I recognize I am having a bit of a hard time with it all however there is "something" about her that I can't explain. I suppose I should be grateful that my son still shares some of the concerns he has with this relationship.


And yes...as a parent...I will need to stand off on the side lines and watch him fall if it comes to that.


Many asked...what is it that I don't like about her...she is very needy, too needy. I shared with my son recently that a healthy relationship should strive for balance. While he is fine to tend to her needs, I encouraged him to take care of himself and not to overload with her stuff.


Oh...heck...as one poster stated...maybe I am just going to be one of those freaky moms that will not like anyone they bring home...!


Time will tell. Thanks to everyone who replied, I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to vent it out some. It is a thought in process just like me!


Cheers!


 


 


Quoting Hannahluvsdogs:

It sounds like you're having a hard time letting go...this is another stage he's entering that brings him closer to being an adult and farther from being your little boy. You can talk to him about being with girls who treat him respectfully, he's a teen so he may or may not listen, but as a parent your job is to teach him the skills and tools to deal with life, and then let go and trust that you've taught them enough to be successful on their own.


 

GMMC
by Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 3:01 PM

 Thanks again Niccalyn...

I am kinda glad you shared that. It is good to know that I am not alone in my abnormal-ness. Seeking professional advice for this one seemed a bit harsh to me. I am glad I posted it however because it gave me a chance to get it out there and reflect a little more.

Today they celebrate 6 months together. Last night I said that to young folks I remember that 6 months or half a year as he kept saying...feels like 6 million years.

Raising teens is a trip!!!!

Quoting Niccalyn:

I'm not qualified to say what's normal and what's not, but I can say you are definitely NOT the first mom of a boy that I've run into who was having a similar problem!  I remember speaking to a woman at work who literally broke down in tears because her 17-year-old son asked if his girlfriend could attend mom's birthday dinner. I only have girls, and it didn't seem like an unusual request to me, but this mom was HEARTBOKEN.  So, if that kind of reaction is considered 'not normal', you are definitely not alone in your abnormal-ness!

Quoting GMMC:

 Hi lucky...

Oh dear...I am pretty cool with not normal...and honestly...if I ran to a professional each time I had a not normal moment in my life well...there would be no point in leaving the professional's office...

So in the mean time if you don't mind...I will hang here and take stalk of some great moms with some great advice..

Is it not really normal...hhhhmmmm....I don't know...it is a thought that is for sure.....as I said in my post...I feel really embarrassed about feeling like this...Perhaps I should have tagged my post differently like, "I know what the hell is wrong with me but I can't help it and I feel somewhat stupid about it..."

Thanks anyway...

 

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

You should talk to a professional. Your reaction to his dating is not normal.

 

 

 

Purplepanda170
by Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 5:56 PM

I HAVE 2 BOYS, AND MY HUSBAND ALWAYS TELLS ME NO GIRL THEY BRING HOME WILL BE GOOD ENOUGH.   LOL

INCIDENTALLY, MY 17 JUST GOT A GF, SO WE WILL SEE. 

atlmom2
by Susie on Dec. 3, 2013 at 6:00 PM
Why are parents of girls not freakishly over protective about boyfriends??? I wants my dd's to be happy with a guy and never cared after they were 16 if they had boyfriends.
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SAMI_JO
by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 8:53 PM

 We never want to accept that our babies are growing up, and no one will ever be good enough for ds!

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