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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

What the hell is wrong with me?

Posted by   + Show Post

 I am new here.

I am also in need of other mom's thoughts with teens.

My 16 year old son fell deeply in love for the first time this year. I didn't see it coming and didn't even consider it a possibility for him as the shy and introverted kid he is. So here we are...and I am not "liking" it all. I am not "liking" her either...and I hate saying that and can't believe that I feel like this but it is true...

I am waiting for time to die so that he might find someone else...but than again...

What an insane and new feeling I didn't see coming...

What the hell is wrong with me...?

by on Dec. 2, 2013 at 2:27 AM
Replies (21-30):
GMMC
by Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 9:07 PM
1 mom liked this

 So so so true...!

Quoting SAMI_JO:

 We never want to accept that our babies are growing up, and no one will ever be good enough for ds!

 

justwannalive
by Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 5:06 PM
I totally understand what your going through. I am going through this with both my son's right now. It is hell! One is 16 and believe it or not the other is only 12. I put a few post up before but everyone is so judgemental I quit sharing. But I absolutely hate my 16 year olds gf. Me an him fight alot. It sucks it it's so hard to just sit back an watch.
atlmom2
by Susie on Dec. 4, 2013 at 5:12 PM
What don't you like about the girlfriend???

Quoting justwannalive: I totally understand what your going through. I am going through this with both my son's right now. It is hell! One is 16 and believe it or not the other is only 12. I put a few post up before but everyone is so judgemental I quit sharing. But I absolutely hate my 16 year olds gf. Me an him fight alot. It sucks it it's so hard to just sit back an watch.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Dec. 4, 2013 at 11:22 PM

Personally, I think your feelings are pretty normal.    It is hard when we are no longer our sons' 'Best girl'.     Not liking the girl makes it even worse!    I was fine with my oldest son's first girlfriend.  They were a cute couple, had lots in common and I had been acquainted with her family for years.    

My younger son was a different story.   He took metal shop his freshman year.  I was looking forward to being the recipient of his projects, the first was a long stemmed rose made of metal.   He gave it to some girl!!!    I smiled and told him how nice that was of him,  while secretly grinding my teeth.   That was MY metal rose, made by MY baby boy.... obviously I am not over it...lol.

He and his gf have been together for 3 years.   I did not like her at first.  I do like her now.  She is a sweet person and her heart is in the right place.... but she sometimes drives me batty!  There are times that I just walk away, shaking my head.    I absolutely cannot see my son with her long term.....yet, it has been 3 years.  

Welcome to the group!!! 




GMMC
by Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 11:47 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh I get that completely!

My son bought his gf an xmas gift with his limited funds...I drove him (2hours each way), made suggestions and the like. I inquired with a smirk what he bought his mom and dad...

His face dropped....

hhmmmpphhh...!

AND...thanks so much for the kind welcome! Glad to be here!

Quoting boys2men2soon:

Personally, I think your feelings are pretty normal.    It is hard when we are no longer our sons' 'Best girl'.     Not liking the girl makes it even worse!    I was fine with my oldest son's first girlfriend.  They were a cute couple, had lots in common and I had been acquainted with her family for years.    

My younger son was a different story.   He took metal shop his freshman year.  I was looking forward to being the recipient of his projects, the first was a long stemmed rose made of metal.   He gave it to some girl!!!    I smiled and told him how nice that was of him,  while secretly grinding my teeth.   That was MY metal rose, made by MY baby boy.... obviously I am not over it...lol.

He and his gf have been together for 3 years.   I did not like her at first.  I do like her now.  She is a sweet person and her heart is in the right place.... but she sometimes drives me batty!  There are times that I just walk away, shaking my head.    I absolutely cannot see my son with her long term.....yet, it has been 3 years.  

Welcome to the group!!! 

 

GMMC
by Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 11:58 PM

 You know what...sometimes a mama just knows...

I think that asking ourselves WHY we don't like them is a good inquire....we do need to consider if it is a "us" issue or a "them" issue.

I am all for that however, as it is with my son's gf...Other than her being needy I can't quite pin it. Honestly, I can't wait until she moves along.

AND...who cares if the mama's on here wanna judge me for that...

There are always a few or more in this case...self pontificating folks everywhere!

I am even one at times...but don't let that stop you from posting in here. I think for the most part we are here to try to help one another. AND...I am so glad you responded and shared that you understood how I am feeling!

Best to you..

 

Quoting justwannalive: I totally understand what your going through. I am going through this with both my son's right now. It is hell! One is 16 and believe it or not the other is only 12. I put a few post up before but everyone is so judgemental I quit sharing. But I absolutely hate my 16 year olds gf. Me an him fight alot. It sucks it it's so hard to just sit back an watch.

 

justwannalive
by Member on Dec. 6, 2013 at 6:59 PM
I don't like her attitude, the way she treats others, I just don't like her period! So this past homecoming my son and our senior were both going. Well instead of making it a little simpler they decided they are not riding together. Well I should'nt say they cuz it was actually the gf that made that decision. So my dd was meeting up at a restaurant close to the dance she drives so she was going to drive there. Our son however does not drive and did not know how they were getting to where they were going. We figured we were taking him. Well gf decided she only wanted the two of them to go and to a restaurant clear on the other side of town.
Well our dd car broke down so now we know we have to take her too. Well as we are all getting ready my son keeps coming out with different plans. Finally he asks can I just go with her she's going to drive her dad truck. Ok this girl is 15 she don't have a license and it is Saturday night. So of course we say no we are going to take you. A few minutes later he comes out crying and says I'm not even going, I said why, he just kept shrugging his shoulders and said cuz its too much of a hassle. So I feel bad for him don't want him to think we only want to do for sis who is just sitting waiting to leave because she was supposed to be there a long time ago. But I keep telling him no come on still go with your friends though your all ready just go have fun.
During all this she keeps calling his phone he answers and she's talking about me saying I always have a problem an whatever else, so my son tells her do you want to tell her. Then who knows what was said because he hangs up on her she keeps calling back he won't answer so I finally answered and I ask her real calmly what's wrong why aren't yous going now? She starts yelling at me saying because of you, you make a big deal about everything, I don't like you. An I'm not with you I'm with your son. I said I know you don't like me an maybe that's the problem you let it show to much. Then she hung up on me but then kept calling my son back over, an over and I guess when my son finally answered again her dad was in the background yelling like a psycho. Then her mom called my son saying that was wrong of your mom to call talking shit to a 15yr old and she crossed the line and blah blah blah. So I tell my husband I'm going to call her mom and let her know what's going on, since she is obviously twisting the story.
So I call the mom she answers and immediately starts yelling at me you do not want to f***** call me right now you f****n bitch you fight with everyone your husband your mom your kids you f***** psycho come over here right now do I could kick your f****ass and I couldn't understand anything else cuz she was screaming at the top of her lungs and then hung up on me.
Well the two teens supposedly broke up after that for wow maybe a whole 2 days. And to this day she has not even apologized. But all her an my son do is fight. So again right before thanksgiving they supposedly broke up again, so once they went back to school she is all over him begging him an stuff so then she tells my son's bestfriend that she wants to apologize to me. I'm like why now 3 months later just cuz your desperate to keep my son. Also this will be the second time she is apologizing because she pulled some shit before. Also I forgot to mention her parents and us were close friends before. Until I had to cut off that relationship because her mom was a very jealous and mean lady. So all this drama this little witch stirred up because I wouldn't let my son go with an unlicensed driver. You see now why I hate her.
Quoting atlmom2: What don't you like about the girlfriend???


Quoting justwannalive: I totally understand what your going through. I am going through this with both my son's right now. It is hell! One is 16 and believe it or not the other is only 12. I put a few post up before but everyone is so judgemental I quit sharing. But I absolutely hate my 16 year olds gf. Me an him fight alot. It sucks it it's so hard to just sit back an watch.
chattycassie
by Bronze Member on Dec. 6, 2013 at 8:12 PM

 Maybe you are jealous of him having so much love for another women.

GMMC
by Member on Dec. 6, 2013 at 10:23 PM

 I am so glad you came back to finish your post!

I hear ya...loud and clear! Drama, drama, drama. I was never like that as a young woman at my boyfriends home. I was respectful and polite and preach this to my son all the time. When she comes here she runs up the stairs and not a hello or anything. I know she is shy but as I explained to my kid that sometimes shy people can come across in a negative manner. She is painfully shy...like pulling teeth to get her to talk.

I left lots of little shitty details out here. Only because I would freak out if her mom was on here. I know why I don't like her and it is not because I am jealous but don't deny my heart breaks. I can admit that one, with some embarrassment mind you.

Oh god...what if he picks this one...!

Last night he declared that he now considering not going to college in the big city. I know why...because she does not want him to go away.

Oh I cannot wait for this phase to pass.

That is all I can do, I get that. And if it doesn't well...like really what the hell am I going to do. I don't want to lose the relationship I have with my son but see how it will suffer.

Can I not just want more my kid...

blah, blah, blah...

Shit and shoot!

Best to both of us perhaps!

Quoting justwannalive: I don't like her attitude, the way she treats others, I just don't like her period! So this past homecoming my son and our senior were both going. Well instead of making it a little simpler they decided they are not riding together. Well I should'nt say they cuz it was actually the gf that made that decision. So my dd was meeting up at a restaurant close to the dance she drives so she was going to drive there. Our son however does not drive and did not know how they were getting to where they were going. We figured we were taking him. Well gf decided she only wanted the two of them to go and to a restaurant clear on the other side of town.
Well our dd car broke down so now we know we have to take her too. Well as we are all getting ready my son keeps coming out with different plans. Finally he asks can I just go with her she's going to drive her dad truck. Ok this girl is 15 she don't have a license and it is Saturday night. So of course we say no we are going to take you. A few minutes later he comes out crying and says I'm not even going, I said why, he just kept shrugging his shoulders and said cuz its too much of a hassle. So I feel bad for him don't want him to think we only want to do for sis who is just sitting waiting to leave because she was supposed to be there a long time ago. But I keep telling him no come on still go with your friends though your all ready just go have fun.
During all this she keeps calling his phone he answers and she's talking about me saying I always have a problem an whatever else, so my son tells her do you want to tell her. Then who knows what was said because he hangs up on her she keeps calling back he won't answer so I finally answered and I ask her real calmly what's wrong why aren't yous going now? She starts yelling at me saying because of you, you make a big deal about everything, I don't like you. An I'm not with you I'm with your son. I said I know you don't like me an maybe that's the problem you let it show to much. Then she hung up on me but then kept calling my son back over, an over and I guess when my son finally answered again her dad was in the background yelling like a psycho. Then her mom called my son saying that was wrong of your mom to call talking shit to a 15yr old and she crossed the line and blah blah blah. So I tell my husband I'm going to call her mom and let her know what's going on, since she is obviously twisting the story.
So I call the mom she answers and immediately starts yelling at me you do not want to f***** call me right now you f****n bitch you fight with everyone your husband your mom your kids you f***** psycho come over here right now do I could kick your f****ass and I couldn't understand anything else cuz she was screaming at the top of her lungs and then hung up on me.
Well the two teens supposedly broke up after that for wow maybe a whole 2 days. And to this day she has not even apologized. But all her an my son do is fight. So again right before thanksgiving they supposedly broke up again, so once they went back to school she is all over him begging him an stuff so then she tells my son's bestfriend that she wants to apologize to me. I'm like why now 3 months later just cuz your desperate to keep my son. Also this will be the second time she is apologizing because she pulled some shit before. Also I forgot to mention her parents and us were close friends before. Until I had to cut off that relationship because her mom was a very jealous and mean lady. So all this drama this little witch stirred up because I wouldn't let my son go with an unlicensed driver. You see now why I hate her.
Quoting atlmom2: What don't you like about the girlfriend???


Quoting justwannalive: I totally understand what your going through. I am going through this with both my son's right now. It is hell! One is 16 and believe it or not the other is only 12. I put a few post up before but everyone is so judgemental I quit sharing. But I absolutely hate my 16 year olds gf. Me an him fight alot. It sucks it it's so hard to just sit back an watch.

 

GMMC
by Member on Dec. 6, 2013 at 10:24 PM

 I know right...god does that ever sound stupid!

Like I said...what the hell is wrong with me!

Quoting chattycassie:

 Maybe you are jealous of him having so much love for another women.

 

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