My daughter wants to leave and move in with her dad - please help.
For more than 3 years my now 15 year old daughter and I have had a difficult relationship. Problems with failing grades, filthy room and EXTREME disrespect toward me (cursing, "hope you die", "shut up", "I never want to look at your face again". Her father and I have been apart since she was 1 and he's a dad when its convenient (taking her when he feels like it which is a major reason why she is the way she is - cry for attention).
I've tried therapy a couple times (and is currently seeing therapists). She's happy and loving life until she's told NO, made to clean her room, made to do homework or when she wants something. Prior to 3 years ago my financial situation was different (more money) now after just loosing my home in a short sale I'm trying to get myself together - the money doesn't flow now she really wants no part of me - she's money driven.
She's also jealous of my relationship of one year now to my fiance and uses that as a weapon telling her dad we ignore her, don't love her, don't feed her, keep her in the house and don't take her anywhere... any lie she can think of to get a rise out of him... well it finally worked...
She wants to live with her father and he wants to take her. She's said she's wanted to live with him before but we work through it for a couple weeks and then it rears it's ugly head again the minute I don't give her what she wants. I think this will be a big mistake moving her in the middle of a school year and basically showing her that she doesn't have to be accountable for her actions - not to mention he's never tried to be a father before allowing his personal life and love for the ladies to keep him from giving her the time she's cried for for so long - perhaps if he did we wouldn't be in this situation.
All of the issues with my daughter has contributed to high blood pressure, stomach issues, hives when things are heightened, hair loss - not to mention demotion from job due to poor performance because I let all this get to me.
My heart says don't let her go and keep hoping one day it will change. But my head says maybe this is the best thing for her and everyone involved. Its hard to think of letting her go, because I feel I'll loose her forever - but if I don't let her go things will continue to get worse. How do I let my little girl go?