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13 yr old daughter out of control...need help!

Posted by on Dec. 5, 2013 at 4:36 PM
  • 2 Replies

We have had custody of my step daughter for 6 years now. Before that, we had her more than 50% of the time. Her father and I have been together since she was 1, so I am not the "stepmom." She refers to me as MOM (My other mom). We have always had such a great relationship, until recently. About 3 months ago, we found out that she had been cutting herself. We took her to therapy and thought everything was going great! We couldn't be more wrong! She cut herself "one more time" (so she says) and now is failing almost all her advanced classes, lying, skipping school, etc. AND she wants to move in with her mother because she doesn't like our talks?!!? Well, that is the story this week. It is so hard to believe anything that she says. She lies about EVERYTHING! I am not sure that she can stop anymore. She tells her mother horrible, mean and completely untrue things about us! This whole thing feels like a bad dream and we have no idea what to do! We are having a really hard time dealing with everything right now. Our marriage and relationships with our younger children are being affected in a negative way! The therapist doesn't think her moving in with her mother is a good idea. We are so torn! We only want what is best for her! If she is going to improve in school and in her mental state by moving away from us, then we will do it! I think that she will get over there and realize that she screwed up and that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. My husband agrees. We had decided to do a trial run and let her finish out the school year at her mothers. If she improves and everyone is in agreement, then she can go to high school there. If she continues down the same destructive path, then she will come back home. Now we aren't so sure anymore :( Any advice?

by on Dec. 5, 2013 at 4:36 PM
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Replies (1-2):
GMMC
by Member on Dec. 5, 2013 at 6:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Hi there,

It sounds like a tough situation. I would encourage her to continue more and intense therapy. A couple of visits aren't going to offer the help she needs. Perhaps all of you can attend together, you, hubby and your ex-wife with the daughter. It might be good for her to see you all together for her and it might stop the opportunity for her to keep lying about the both of you. Hopefully you are on good terms or at least able to speak with the ex.

Tough all around that is for sure.

All the best to you,

 

Belovedmoonpixi
by Member on Dec. 5, 2013 at 10:19 PM

yes, therapy. From experience, you hurt yourself when the emotional agony is so much that the physical pain is actually better and helps you forget about the other pai, or when you feel so dead inside you need the physical pain to actually FEEL something.... Sorry your daughter is going through this.

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