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Worst parents in the world

Posted by on Dec. 5, 2013 at 10:07 PM
  • 10 Replies

At least that's how the 14 yr old feels about us.

She got herself grounded from her room. Yup that's right grounded from her room. She is to sit at the dinning table and do her homework and study till dinner time then after dinner shes to do her chores and then go to bed.

Why is she grounded from her room?
Lets see, she never came home when she was suppose to a week ago and we had to go searching for her only to find her playing games and hanging out with a kid we dont approve of. Cause of that she had her cell phone taken away until further notice and grounded a week to not going and hanging out, we also had her do extra chores over thanksgiving weekend and no desert for thanksgiving. (this wasn't the first time she had pulled a stunt like that, that's why it was more harsh).

Then 2 days ago she got a ride from school with a "friend" she doesn't even know the girl and couldn't even tell us her name, and shes been told not to get in the car with anyone unless we know them and approve. (she has gotten in the car with a kid who only had a permit and wasn't allowed to have anyone else in the car by law and she was speeding down our street). Cause she got a ride she was home 10 minutes early and we weren't home yet (she got home at 2:55 we got home at 3:00 she doesn't get off the bus and home till 3:20 usually so we were home before she was suppose to be home) well cause she was home early she decided to break in a window to get into the house (shes not allowed to have a house key since she has lost 3 keys already and someone is home by 3pm everyday). When she pulled the window open she BROKE the lock and the window latches. She's been told not to break into the house every she got in trouble for it before but now this time she broke the window it wont even lock anymore and is letting in a freezing breeze.

And on top of everything else she has been disrespectful to us and other adults, she has an attitude towards us about everything and is rude all the times.

So again your wondering why ground her from her room. Well its cause it seems to be the only thing left to take away from her that she might care about. She has had her DS taken away and not cared enough to shape up, shes had her cell phone taken away and it still barely bothers her, shes had drawing stuff taken away, books, games, toys, we have tried EVERYTHING. So the only thing she had left is her room so DH decided it was the only thing left so we would take that away now too.

(this is posted in another group as well)

by on Dec. 5, 2013 at 10:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
vbsimpson
by New Member on Dec. 6, 2013 at 2:55 AM
It sounds to me like she may crying out for attention. Negative attention is better than no attention for a lot of teens. Try to open a line of honest communication with her. Even if you feel like you're talking to a wall, she is hearing you. Maybe when she is sitting at the table, sit down with her and talk to her. even if she doesn't respond verbally, she will have heard what you said. do it from a calm and loving place and not one of anger or upset. It won't be a magic fix but might help.
GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2013 at 4:59 AM

Hey - I've done this myself for anti social behaviour. She was allowed 20 minutes a day for picking clothes, books, music, homework, and that was it - I locked it on her. Oh and besides sleep of course. This was for a week and by the end of it she was right back to sitting in her room all day so obviously it didn't work for us.

suesues
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2013 at 7:37 AM

good i agree with all except no deseret on thanks giving. Talk to dr check other things out maybe change schools how are her grades join after school programs???

atlmom2
by Susie on Dec. 6, 2013 at 9:14 AM
Counseling.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
PurpleHazey
by Angie on Dec. 6, 2013 at 12:55 PM

Yeah I hear I am as well, I tell my kids to go live at their friends house and they will see.

drfink
by Emily on Dec. 6, 2013 at 2:42 PM


Quoting atlmom2: Counseling.

Agree. 


chattycassie
by Bronze Member on Dec. 6, 2013 at 8:38 PM

 OMG my teen was such a pain for about 2 years. Thankfully @ almost 15 she has calmed down. I would talk to her find out why she feels she needs to break the rules. (does she think they are too strict ect) Then set guidelines of what to do if she is to get home before you. Maybe trust her with a key? IDK good luck

Renilia
by Member on Dec. 6, 2013 at 9:25 PM

The rules in our house aren't really that strict she just finds every way in the world to break them without caring. Like a rule is you get home from school and do homework after homework you can go out and play. She will come home say her homeworks done go out and play then 30 minutes before bedtime tell us she had a project thats due tomorrow and needed to do it. Or her chore is to do the dishes well she will put still drity dishes away to avoid having to clean them more then a lite wipe of the sponge. We also do have guidelines in place where if she ends up home before us to wait on the porch that someone will be home soon if not we leave a note on the door for her to go somewhere till we do get home which we write like "So go (friends house) till 4:30 when grandma will be home to meet you). She just acts before thinking and ends up getting herself in trouble. We cant trust her with a key anymore since september she has lost 3 keys and all 3 of them she lost within hours of getting them and still hasnt found any of them and one of them had a huge keychain so she couldn't miss it. We're at a loss here and we're hoping this punishment will get her to shape up.

Quoting chattycassie:

 OMG my teen was such a pain for about 2 years. Thankfully @ almost 15 she has calmed down. I would talk to her find out why she feels she needs to break the rules. (does she think they are too strict ect) Then set guidelines of what to do if she is to get home before you. Maybe trust her with a key? IDK good luck

 

bexsmum
by Bronze Member on Dec. 6, 2013 at 9:31 PM

Personally I think you are going way over board. taking away drawing stuff and books you trying to drive her nuts or trying to build a giant wall between the two of you. her not having a house key is just plain stupid in my opinion. So what she lost 3 keys tell her she has to replace it. Hell I have lost numerous keys and so have my kids guess what they still access to the house by the front door. They don't feel the need to break into thier own home. As for the window have her work around the house to pay for the new lock and put up plastic until she had earned enough to fix it. The no dessert thing just screams treating like a 2 yr old sorry but you are looking for trouble when you treat your young teen like a toddler. These are the yrs they try and push our buttons and you need to work things out as a reasonable adult not treat her like she's 2. SHE will fight back and it won't go in your favour. You can take away everything and if she chooses to still do as she pleases where will you be then.

MariannLws
by Member on Dec. 6, 2013 at 9:37 PM

I ran my house with a iron fist when our older 2 were teens. I took them to school, picked them up, I knew what was assigned as howework and when it was due. if they tried to skip I went to class with them..every single class. All electronics were and still are in one central room. No sitting in their room all day allowed. If they wanted sleep over at friends I drove then and walked into the house and visited with their friend's parents for a bit. If they tried to talk back or give me attitude they regretted it as soon as the words left their mouths or eyes stopped rolling. 

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