Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Son coming home from college...what are the rules? how do we enforce them?

Posted by on Dec. 10, 2013 at 12:32 PM
  • 7 Replies

Hi Moms -- I posted on this site a few weeks ago and got some great advice from you guys...

My son started college this year at a school about 6 hours from home.  He didn't do very well...ended up dropping the classes in his major...and basically messed up.  He completed the term (actually thinks he did well in the two classes he completed.)  But he will not be going back next semester.

The plan is that he will live at home, get a job and go to school part time. 

How do I make sure that he does what he needs to do? I want to treat him with respect, but I don't really trust him to follow through at this point.  I don't want to be fighting with him all the time. 

I need some ideas of what the basic rules should be, and what kind of consequences are effective for a kid who is an "adult"  but in reality has some serious growing up to do...

Please help....

 

by on Dec. 10, 2013 at 12:32 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
atlmom2
by Susie on Dec. 10, 2013 at 1:40 PM
1 mom liked this
He needs to work and go to school and be respectful or he has 30 days to find a place to live. That would be what I would tell him. My 22 yo lives at home again. She goes to school 5 days a week and works part time 5 or 6 days a week. She is busy. I do not ask her what all she is up to, just if she isn't coming home to tell us. Otherwise she is free to come and go. Half the time she tells me what she is up to. She has a big mouth, lol.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Belovedmoonpixi
by Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 12:51 AM
Sit down with him and explain clearly and without a doubt what is expected of him and what the consequences are if he doesn´t meet expectations. Good luck.
acrogodess
by Lissette on Dec. 11, 2013 at 12:52 AM
Follow the rules or get the f*ck out sounds about right to me.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
drfink
by Emily on Dec. 11, 2013 at 12:56 AM


Quoting atlmom2: He needs to work and go to school and be respectful or he has 30 days to find a place to live. That would be what I would tell him. My 22 yo lives at home again. She goes to school 5 days a week and works part time 5 or 6 days a week. She is busy. I do not ask her what all she is up to, just if she isn't coming home to tell us. Otherwise she is free to come and go. Half the time she tells me what she is up to. She has a big mouth, lol.

Agree

BamaMomto4
by New Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 1:06 AM

I would suggest that everything be put in writing and signed by all. Give him a copy of it. 

Quoting Belovedmoonpixi: Sit down with him and explain clearly and without a doubt what is expected of him and what the consequences are if he doesn´t meet expectations. Good luck.


Lisa

gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 1:19 AM
1 mom liked this

And to enforce the idea of responsibility, charge him rent. Not a huge amount but something due on the first. You can put that cash aside in a savings account for him to use when he moves out, but don't tell him you're doing it.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Dec. 11, 2013 at 9:00 PM

My sons live at home.    One is a full time college student, the other has graduated and is working and saving money to get his own place.       They are expected to clean up after themselves, and help with chores.    We have told them that if we have to clean up after them or they do not do their share of chores they will be charged 'rent' to be used for housekeeping services.

We expect mutual respect and common courtesy.    They come and go as they please, but have the courtesy to let us know if they won't be home.  




Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)