Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

How do you get your teen motivated in school?

Posted by on Dec. 17, 2013 at 10:51 AM
  • 19 Replies

My step daughter is 13 (8th grade) and is not even trying in school. My husband and I have tried to have multiple talks with her about what's going on and she says "nothing" Her teachers (all of them) told me that she's just sitting in class talking, not doing her work. Last week we had yet another talk with her about applying herself and she was great, for the first day. I looked at her science notebook yesterday and no class work had been done for 3 days. So she tried... the first day. Then it was right back to giving up. We've tried taking things away, positive reinforcement, everything. Nothing works. My husband and I are both at a loss for what to do. Any advice? Or any been there done that stories?

by on Dec. 17, 2013 at 10:51 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Msgme
by Silver Member on Dec. 17, 2013 at 12:33 PM
3 moms liked this

My son had some issues in 7th grade.  He was literally going to class and just sitting there and not doing anything except talk sometimes. He had a bet wtih his friends on who could do the worst.  He won.  So i decided to give him a job that he did after school and on the weekends.  He worked at home for me and he earned minimum wage doing crappy stuff.  With his pay he had to pay for everything,  Rent, food, electricity, getting his laundry washed,  he had to rent his xbox from me and his games.  If he didnt pay his rent I would padlock  his door and he slept on the couch  which i wold charge him for and it would come out of his pay automaticaly.  if he didnt pay his electric  i flipped the fuse to his room.  If he didnt have money for food i would give him less apealing stuff and would charge and it would come out of his pay automaticaly.  We used monopoly money at first but when he needed something he would have to buy out in the world i would exchange some for real cash.  He got the idea pretty quickly and he had a lousy few months.  I kept it going until he proved he was going to straighten up and keep it up.  He's now in 10th grade and it wasnt until this report card that i noticed him slacking off again.  Hes  not failing but he's creeping kinda close.  He knows we will go back to it if his next report card next month is not better.

Liifeiisabeach
by on Dec. 17, 2013 at 12:49 PM

That is an amazing idea. Really shows how hard it is in the real world, and how much she's going to struggle working crap jobs for crap pay with no education or motivation. Thank you !

Quoting Msgme:

My son had some issues in 7th grade.  He was literally going to class and just sitting there and not doing anything except talk sometimes. He had a bet wtih his friends on who could do the worst.  He won.  So i decided to give him a job that he did after school and on the weekends.  He worked at home for me and he earned minimum wage doing crappy stuff.  With his pay he had to pay for everything,  Rent, food, electricity, getting his laundry washed,  he had to rent his xbox from me and his games.  If he didnt pay his rent I would padlock  his door and he slept on the couch  which i wold charge him for and it would come out of his pay automaticaly.  if he didnt pay his electric  i flipped the fuse to his room.  If he didnt have money for food i would give him less apealing stuff and would charge and it would come out of his pay automaticaly.  We used monopoly money at first but when he needed something he would have to buy out in the world i would exchange some for real cash.  He got the idea pretty quickly and he had a lousy few months.  I kept it going until he proved he was going to straighten up and keep it up.  He's now in 10th grade and it wasnt until this report card that i noticed him slacking off again.  Hes  not failing but he's creeping kinda close.  He knows we will go back to it if his next report card next month is not better.


Msgme
by Silver Member on Dec. 17, 2013 at 12:52 PM

Your welcome and good louck to your dd.  It can be difficult to get them to see past the right now and work for a future.  I cant take full credit for the idea  it was inspired from an episode of the cosby show.

Quoting Liifeiisabeach:

That is an amazing idea. Really shows how hard it is in the real world, and how much she's going to struggle working crap jobs for crap pay with no education or motivation. Thank you !

Quoting Msgme:

My son had some issues in 7th grade.  He was literally going to class and just sitting there and not doing anything except talk sometimes. He had a bet wtih his friends on who could do the worst.  He won.  So i decided to give him a job that he did after school and on the weekends.  He worked at home for me and he earned minimum wage doing crappy stuff.  With his pay he had to pay for everything,  Rent, food, electricity, getting his laundry washed,  he had to rent his xbox from me and his games.  If he didnt pay his rent I would padlock  his door and he slept on the couch  which i wold charge him for and it would come out of his pay automaticaly.  if he didnt pay his electric  i flipped the fuse to his room.  If he didnt have money for food i would give him less apealing stuff and would charge and it would come out of his pay automaticaly.  We used monopoly money at first but when he needed something he would have to buy out in the world i would exchange some for real cash.  He got the idea pretty quickly and he had a lousy few months.  I kept it going until he proved he was going to straighten up and keep it up.  He's now in 10th grade and it wasnt until this report card that i noticed him slacking off again.  Hes  not failing but he's creeping kinda close.  He knows we will go back to it if his next report card next month is not better.



Niccalyn
by Bronze Member on Dec. 17, 2013 at 1:00 PM

I don't really have this problem with my dd's--they are all 'high achievers'--but when the social life starts to get in the way and I see the grades slipping, I limit access to the smart phone/laptop.  They can only text/facetime/skype etc. during certain limited times.  I've never had to take it completely away...but I suppose if your daughter is really stubborn, that might be what it takes!  But I take my hat off to the previous poster who used the job/monopoly money lesson, that sounds extremely effective!

Renilia
by Member on Dec. 17, 2013 at 1:06 PM

 I love this idea!! Thats a great way of showing a teenager that the real world is hard and that half-assing it doesnt cut it. I'm going to be putting this idea aside for use later.

Quoting Msgme:

My son had some issues in 7th grade.  He was literally going to class and just sitting there and not doing anything except talk sometimes. He had a bet wtih his friends on who could do the worst.  He won.  So i decided to give him a job that he did after school and on the weekends.  He worked at home for me and he earned minimum wage doing crappy stuff.  With his pay he had to pay for everything,  Rent, food, electricity, getting his laundry washed,  he had to rent his xbox from me and his games.  If he didnt pay his rent I would padlock  his door and he slept on the couch  which i wold charge him for and it would come out of his pay automaticaly.  if he didnt pay his electric  i flipped the fuse to his room.  If he didnt have money for food i would give him less apealing stuff and would charge and it would come out of his pay automaticaly.  We used monopoly money at first but when he needed something he would have to buy out in the world i would exchange some for real cash.  He got the idea pretty quickly and he had a lousy few months.  I kept it going until he proved he was going to straighten up and keep it up.  He's now in 10th grade and it wasnt until this report card that i noticed him slacking off again.  Hes  not failing but he's creeping kinda close.  He knows we will go back to it if his next report card next month is not better.

 

atlmom2
by Susie on Dec. 17, 2013 at 4:13 PM
Mine did because they didn't like punishments. No phone till good grades. No friends or socializing if you have bad grades. No drivers license till good grades. No car till good grades, no keys if grades drop etc. Find the vice for your kid.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Msgme
by Silver Member on Dec. 17, 2013 at 5:30 PM

with my 15 year old dd I've never had an issue with grades.  I have to tell he sometimes to relax a bit. My younger dd all i have to do is threaten or take away friends after school and she's right back on track.  My son all he ever cared about is his xbox and when ever i took it away he wouldnt care.  His response would be okay mom  and that was it.   He could just sit in his room or on the couch and just not care.

Quoting atlmom2: Mine did because they didn't like punishments. No phone till good grades. No friends or socializing if you have bad grades. No drivers license till good grades. No car till good grades, no keys if grades drop etc. Find the vice for your kid.


MrsBLB
by Missi on Dec. 17, 2013 at 5:30 PM

I like this

Quoting Msgme:

My son had some issues in 7th grade.  He was literally going to class and just sitting there and not doing anything except talk sometimes. He had a bet wtih his friends on who could do the worst.  He won.  So i decided to give him a job that he did after school and on the weekends.  He worked at home for me and he earned minimum wage doing crappy stuff.  With his pay he had to pay for everything,  Rent, food, electricity, getting his laundry washed,  he had to rent his xbox from me and his games.  If he didnt pay his rent I would padlock  his door and he slept on the couch  which i wold charge him for and it would come out of his pay automaticaly.  if he didnt pay his electric  i flipped the fuse to his room.  If he didnt have money for food i would give him less apealing stuff and would charge and it would come out of his pay automaticaly.  We used monopoly money at first but when he needed something he would have to buy out in the world i would exchange some for real cash.  He got the idea pretty quickly and he had a lousy few months.  I kept it going until he proved he was going to straighten up and keep it up.  He's now in 10th grade and it wasnt until this report card that i noticed him slacking off again.  Hes  not failing but he's creeping kinda close.  He knows we will go back to it if his next report card next month is not better.


GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Dec. 17, 2013 at 6:17 PM

I threaten to attend school with them ;)

Homeschoolmom99
by on Dec. 17, 2013 at 6:27 PM
1 mom liked this

I raised my brother he pulled that mess! I showed up in his class looking a mess! Not my style at all! I got a house coat, some sponge rollers in my hair all a mess and house slippers. Then I showed up make up smugged. Well class clown to this day talks about how he will NEVER piss off Mama again in life!

My son is home-schooled he and I fought on some subjects he is going for his HS exit exam he goes to my sisters 3 days a week and just finished his computer class at the local city college.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)