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mother of teen son first hickey!!!!!!

Posted by on Dec. 29, 2013 at 9:48 PM
  • 26 Replies

My 16 yr old son came home with a big hickey on his neck!!!! His girlfriend is 18!! I have forbid him to see her but he is not listening obviously!!! What do I do? Ground him? I don't know how to approach this!!!! Please help me!!!!

by on Dec. 29, 2013 at 9:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Dec. 29, 2013 at 10:05 PM
1 mom liked this
Make sure he knows about protection and adverse effects of sex.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ItsaJOB
by Bronze Member on Dec. 29, 2013 at 10:14 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell him that hickeys look very 'trashy' and send the wrong message to others.  He may not care, but he is listening.  He should not be dating an 18 year old girl.  Restrict car use.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Dec. 29, 2013 at 10:26 PM
2 moms liked this

What is the reason you forbid him to see her?     By making the girl off limits, you run the risk of pushing him straight to her.    Talk to him.    Talk about safe sex, appropriate behavior, trust and lying.




deanamendez75
by on Dec. 29, 2013 at 10:35 PM

The reason is because she is 18!!!! He is 16!!!

deanamendez75
by on Dec. 29, 2013 at 10:43 PM

I have caught him smoking also!!! He lies to me alot! Like for instance! when he came home from his friends house today he had a band aid on his neck. I asked him why was it on there. His reply was he hurt himself in the woods!!! LOL I knew better of course and asked him to remove the band aid and sure enough 2 big ones on his neck!!!! He lies alot and hides things from me! He wasn't like this a year back but since he turned 16 and lost alot of weight well now he is girl crazy!!!!

lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 9:51 AM
1 mom liked this

Hopefully you have been talking to him about self respect, sex and respecting females all along. Hickeys are trashy plain and simple. Tell him that. Tell him you prefer he didn't have them. Have you met this girl? If not get her over to your home and invite her as often as possible. The more you know about her the better off you'll all be.

You can not break them up so get over that way of thinking.All you will succeed in doing is pushing him towards her. If he lies  ground him. If he smokes ground him. You can still punish him.

PS Most 16 year old boys are Girl Crazy ! Its Normal !

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 9:56 AM

Is she 18 and still in school? 18 doesn't mean much at that point. If she was 19/20 and attending college then I'd have an issue.

Sounds like there is more going on here, the hickey...eh, trashy and not allowed is what I told my kids, but I never freaked out and it only happened with 2 of them. There was also never a repeat performance.

ItsaJOB
by Bronze Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 9:56 AM

How is he going to see her?  Does he drive?  Does she come to pick him up or do you live close by each other?  If he is driving, he can be restricted with its use.  Allowed to drive to work/school.  If he wants to see her, she can come to YOUR house, but no closed bedroom doors.  Definately talk to him about consequences of sex.  A hickey is not a good sign.  Have you met/talked with her parents?  She is 18 and is now legally an adult, which is ANOTHER issue, because your son is a minor and if they ARE having sex, she can have charges filed against her in some states for having sex with a minor.  Ask your son if he would like to see his gf in jail.  Is she out of high school yet?  With my daughter, I did NOT like the bf she was dating behind our back, and we put some major restrictions on what/where she could go.  It didn't work out so well.  So, we INVITED him over, yes, we DID, but she did NOT want him to come over...ever!  So, she was not allowed to go 'out' any longer until he did.  The relationship died out.  Furthermore, her grades ALL had to be above a 'C' or she was not allowed to do ANY activities outside the home unless it was school required.  That was a challenge for her and also restricted being 'out' and about and us not knowing for certain where she was. 

PurpleHazey
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 11:20 AM

I would be livit, I can't stand those things.

PurpleHazey
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 11:22 AM

 

Quoting ItsaJOB:

Tell him that hickeys look very 'trashy' and send the wrong message to others.  He may not care, but he is listening.  He should not be dating an 18 year old girl.  Restrict car use.

 Agreed

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