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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

OMG! Don't know that I can take much more!

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 7:55 PM
  • 17 Replies

My 13yo is driving me mad! She is constantly yelling at her sister, gets short with me, snaps at her father. It seems like she feels like she can treat us any way she wants and then be nice a few minutes later and we should just forget about being treated badly! She is not always like this, there are times she is great and then times like you need to watch her wrath.

by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 7:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bluedolly01
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 8:08 PM
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My 14 year old can be the same way from time time. Overall a great kid but dang if I dont want to beat the attitude out of her some days.

I feel your pain - I keep being told its supposed to get better as they get older :)
boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Dec. 30, 2013 at 8:37 PM

Do you dole out consequences for her behavior?    Disrespect is not tolerated in my home.  Take away something that matters to her... phone, computer, tablet, time with friends.




bellasmom32510
by Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:14 PM
2 moms liked this


Quoting boys2men2soon:

Do you dole out consequences for her behavior?    Disrespect is not tolerated in my home.  Take away something that matters to her... phone, computer, tablet, time with friends.

We have. Her laptop is gone, her phone is for emergencies only, she will not be going to a friends house anytime soon. I have told her if she keeps it up we will not be paying for her to go to TN on a school trip, she can stay here when we go to FL, I won't be doling out cash for things I would normally pay for if it continues.

02nana07
by Ida on Dec. 30, 2013 at 11:29 PM

 My kids don't backtalk they have learned from a young age that is something they don't want to do to me.  Punish her and be consistent that is the only way to fix the problems.  Don't let her by with it even once punish every time.

group hug

ItsaJOB
by Bronze Member on Dec. 31, 2013 at 9:39 AM
1 mom liked this

Yup...that's about the age it kicked in with our youngest daughter.  We tried to 'relationize' it away as something normal, but WHY should we?  Both my husband and myself didn't treat our parents like that?  So, consequences.  Some battles were not worth the fight, but others, well, consequences by taking things away.  Once she got a job and earned her own money, she realized it costs to get things things or go places.  While other parents seem to feel obligated to dole out money to their kids just because they are their kids, the question is....why?  If she is not being civil with you, why should she be allowed to do anything or get anything?  It DID make our daughter extremely angry with us, however, when we tried the taking away EVERYTHING route.  During the summer a couple years ago, she LEFT in the middle of the night with her friends (2 days before her 16th birthday).  She didn't come home until later ON her birthday.  She had gotten fed up with having things taken away from her and guess she realized she really had no place to stay when she was gone, so came back.  It was THE MOST frightening thing any parent could go through.  So, lesson there was, communicate WHY things are taken away and WHEN they will be returned so daughter does not see it as an eternal punishment.  Give her the chance to EARN things back with good behavior.  Hope this helps somewhat.....

lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Dec. 31, 2013 at 10:06 AM

  I suggest the minute she open her mouth and speaks disrespectfully things come out she is sent to her room. Tell her when she is ready to apologize and speak respectfully she is welcome back. If she wont go escort her there. If you allow this it will only get worse.

bellasmom32510
by Member on Dec. 31, 2013 at 10:28 AM
DH and I discussed this last night. It will change today. I do not want my younger DD to think it is acceptable to speak that way to adults. I told my older DD that she has no business speaking to any adult like that and it is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. That there is no circumstance that gives her the right to talk back like she has been. Period. We will see...
Pnukey
by on Dec. 31, 2013 at 11:32 AM
1 mom liked this

So far, what has worked with me with my DD13 is that she knows that when she behaves in a respectful manner, she will be treated with respect. When she acts horribly, she will be treated horribly. I explain it in a way that she feels like she has control and is the decision maker. They love that at this age. 

HER choices dictate how she will be treated. She must choose wisely.

countjb
by New Member on Dec. 31, 2013 at 2:47 PM

Oh i feel your pain. Our 14 yo daughter is driving us crazy. She doesn't want to be part of our family, always wants to be somewhere else or left alone, never takes the initiative to pitch in and help around the house, and treats us with utter disrespect. We're at a loss as to how to handle her. At least she's not into smoking, drugs, sex or drinking. Deep down i know she's a good kid and many other moms and grand moms tell me this behavior is normal at her age, but if we don't deal with it now what will she be like as she gets older?

ItsaJOB
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2014 at 10:18 AM

To countjb...it will get worse.  If she continues to act and talk disrespectfully to you, it WILL continue.  Experienced that already.  Consequences are in order.  Our daughter, when the consequences are 'active', doesn't even talk to us at all.  So, guess we don't 'hear' disrespect, but that action is still a form of disrespect, as well.  Since our daughter has a drivers license, she loses car privileges. 

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