This past Sunday I went to the grocery store. Before I left, I told my 15 year old daughter three things she had to do before I got back.
1. Make her bed up
2. Do the dishes
3. Empty the trash
I even wrote it down for her. I went to the store and got back about an hour later. When I got home, I asked my 8 year old daughter where her sister was. She said she was on Facebook.
The only thing 15 yr old had done while I was gone was make her bed up. So as punishment I took her cell phone from her for five days.
Was I harsh or not harsh enough?
A couple of days later she left the TV and the light on in the spare bedroom. I told her she left them on and she said "You leave the TV and light on." I said, "Don't worry about what I do, go and turn the light off."
Then she said "I left it on because you do that and leave it on for me so that I can check the weather." Um, no, I DO NOT leave the light and TV on her, I forget to turn the light off myself, and when someone says hey, you left the light on, I say thanks and go turn the light off!
We got into an argument, because she kept trying to explain herself, and I kept telling her I didn't want to hear excuses, all I wanted to hear was "Yes ma'am, I'll go turn the lights off."
I was very annoyed because I felt that she was deflecting her wrong doing - like a kid who gets caught at school for something and turns around says "But Johnny did it too!"
She says she was just trying to explain why she left the light on, that she was not trying to be disrespectful.
Did I handle this the right way or was I too quick to shut her down?
I want her to communicate to me, but at the same time, I don't want to condone her to making excuses for herself.
I admit she irritated me, because her dad (my exhusband) would do the same thing to me. Whenever I would tell him he didn't pick up after himself he'd turn around and say "Well, you left the bread out!"
Tonight D15 wants to go out with friends, and I'm letting her. An outsider might say I shouldn't let her go out tonight since she's been giving me grief all week, but I did withhold her cell phone an additional day for talking back to me, and I don't think a person should be punished twice for the same "crime". What do you think?