Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Grades dropped

Posted by on Jan. 11, 2014 at 11:17 PM
  • 23 Replies
My 7th grader A student is sporting several C's this six weeks. I reached out to 4 teachers and only one responded. It's been a week.

The one who responded said that while my dd is quiet and very respectful and she does participate in class - she doesn't ask for help when she doesn't understand. So we set up a tutoring schedule. I'm kind of wondering why the other teachers have not responded. Would you contact them again now that it's been a week and a weekend since first reaching out? Would you schedule a conference?

I've never had to punish for bad grades bc for the last 6 years she's always had straight A's with the occasional B. This is the first time ever she has received anything lower than a high B on a report card. It feels like untraveled waters and not sure how to handle.

We have talked and she doesn't seem to have an opinion on what is going on. She has declared that pre AP is 'too hard' and she just wants to be in regular classes. That to me is giving up and not an option since she's always tested higher than average and has always done well in school until now.

I did ground her from her phone and games until her grades come up. Maybe she was spending too much time on devices. What more should I do? Any suggestions?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 11, 2014 at 11:17 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
seqra2
by on Jan. 11, 2014 at 11:53 PM

I had the same issue with my daughter last year. We let her drop the AP bio class ( on her teachers suggestion) but kept her in the math. We talked and struggled. She managed to bring out A's and B's by the end of the year. Now this year it's the same thing. We talked about it and I think some of it is to many distractions in her daily life. So if her report card isn't up to par then she looses everything. I have met with all of her teachers to try to work with them for her. She has been on high honor roll forever. The last marking period last year she dropped to just honor roll. The first marking period of this year she missed it by just 2 points. That is not ok for us and she knows it. She is smart and I think she is dumbing herself down for her friends based on some comments she has made. So I told her to just either not say your grade out loud or just say yeah it was a tough one. Don't get me wrong her friends are good friends and probably don't even realize that their comments are effecting her. Just like she probably didn't realize when she says "what that test was so easy" probably wasn't so easy for someone else. This is just my experience. She knows that she will loose the computer and phone and TV. Although I may get crap for this I will take her recreational reading material as well. She will read a book the same as watching TV but if it is a distraction from school then she will loose it. 

momof2ex1
by Member on Jan. 12, 2014 at 12:04 AM
Dd has some friends in regular classes. They brag constantly about how they never have homework. She has daily homework. She doesn't think it's fair. But I'm guessing they won't think it's fair when her honor classes get her in to the college of her choice. (If we can keep her motivated)

Good friends but they don't care about the grades and don't test as high as she does. Nothing wrong with that but she can't be in regular classes because she gets bored. She needs the challenge.

When you say you met with the teachers did you make an appointment or did you email:phone conference? It seems the teachers aren't interested. Frustrating to me.

Quoting seqra2:

I had the same issue with my daughter last year. We let her drop the AP bio class ( on her teachers suggestion) but kept her in the math. We talked and struggled. She managed to bring out A's and B's by the end of the year. Now this year it's the same thing. We talked about it and I think some of it is to many distractions in her daily life. So if her report card isn't up to par then she looses everything. I have met with all of her teachers to try to work with them for her. She has been on high honor roll forever. The last marking period last year she dropped to just honor roll. The first marking period of this year she missed it by just 2 points. That is not ok for us and she knows it. She is smart and I think she is dumbing herself down for her friends based on some comments she has made. So I told her to just either not say your grade out loud or just say yeah it was a tough one. Don't get me wrong her friends are good friends and probably don't even realize that their comments are effecting her. Just like she probably didn't realize when she says "what that test was so easy" probably wasn't so easy for someone else. This is just my experience. She knows that she will loose the computer and phone and TV. Although I may get crap for this I will take her recreational reading material as well. She will read a book the same as watching TV but if it is a distraction from school then she will loose it. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
seqra2
by on Jan. 12, 2014 at 12:17 AM

I emailed and I called. I hate when I hear how parents aren't involved enough but then I get ignored so I didn't stop until I got an answer. I know they may have been irritated with me but I will not risk her future. I just kept pushing email twice a week called once a week. I was prepared to call the principal to to if I could get his help but, luckily that was unnecessary. I keep telling her that now is the time to make the right choices and to find the balance of social life and school work but school will always be first. It's your job you earn your knowledge.

Plus we like shows like Doctor who and Sherlock Holmes and I tell her that these people are smart and they are smart because they take every opportunity to learn. So if ever you wanted a role model have a smart one and learn. Because as stupid as it sounds right now knowledge really is power. I'm hoping she is listening because if her grades don't get her on honor roll then no more Doctor who or Sherlock and I know that's going to be really hard on her.

christsgirl674
by on Jan. 12, 2014 at 12:26 AM

Why would you punish her because she finds her school work hard? It doesn't sound like she is doing badly to be defiant. It sounds like she is struggling over the material.

Cs are passing. Actually, Cs in AP type classes are actually As in normal classes.

Instead of punishing and restricting why not have a longer discussion about how she feels about her grades and performance? Maybe the amount of work indimifdated her or perhaps she is struggling to keep up. 

momof2ex1
by Member on Jan. 12, 2014 at 1:22 AM
1 mom liked this
Well I should have elaborated on that. I removed the phone because it was becoming a distraction during homework time. She says she is using it to listen to music but then I see her posting on Instagram. The problem with her work (the evidence I can see from her grades online) her homework is what she is failing causing her to have a low average. I just felt that taking the phone away during homework time and also at night might entice her to do better. I also restricted her time on the computer. She was spending longer playing games after telling me she had finished her homework - only to find come 10pm she was up doing homework that supposedly she had already completed.

That's why I posted here. Because I'm at a loss and would like some suggestions. If taking the phone away at homework time and when she should be sleeping was wrong - I would like some pointers on that and maybe some other suggestions.

Quoting christsgirl674:

Why would you punish her because she finds her school work hard? It doesn't sound like she is doing badly to be defiant. It sounds like she is struggling over the material.

Cs are passing. Actually, Cs in AP type classes are actually As in normal classes.

Instead of punishing and restricting why not have a longer discussion about how she feels about her grades and performance? Maybe the amount of work indimifdated her or perhaps she is struggling to keep up. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momof2ex1
by Member on Jan. 12, 2014 at 1:23 AM
1 mom liked this
C's are not acceptable to me. They might be passing but she can do better.

Quoting christsgirl674:

Why would you punish her because she finds her school work hard? It doesn't sound like she is doing badly to be defiant. It sounds like she is struggling over the material.

Cs are passing. Actually, Cs in AP type classes are actually As in normal classes.

Instead of punishing and restricting why not have a longer discussion about how she feels about her grades and performance? Maybe the amount of work indimifdated her or perhaps she is struggling to keep up. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
atlmom2
by Susie on Jan. 12, 2014 at 3:17 AM
I would contact again. Since you know she is not asking for help ask her to ask for help in those classes. Ask her why she never ask for help herself. She is plenty old enough.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momof2ex1
by Member on Jan. 12, 2014 at 4:11 AM
That's my opinion too. She should be more responsible for this part of her school.



Quoting atlmom2: I would contact again. Since you know she is not asking for help ask her to ask for help in those classes. Ask her why she never ask for help herself. She is plenty old enough.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mamavalor
by Member on Jan. 12, 2014 at 7:13 AM

I would take away the phone until she finishes her homework.  She may have the phone back (during homework time) once I see that she is taking a proactive approach to asking for help when needed and completing homework accurately and in a timely manner.  She needs to learn to reflect and make decisions based on those reflections.  She will learn quickly.  

My DD is in 7th grade too and she didn't complete two assignments in her spanish class at the beginning of the year.  Her teacher had graciously informed me, otherwise I would have not known.  When I approached DD about it she knew exactly what I was talking about and she quickly set off to work.  We discussed why she didn't pass them in, even when late.  We discussed the importance of homework (and asking for help).  I took her phone away for every day those assignments were late.  Four days.  And I informed her she was lucky I didn't double the time since the situation concerned two homework assignments.  She never slacked off in that class or any other class again.  Her teachers were very supportive, too.   They appreciated her proactiveness, and in return they took more care in making sure she understood in class during discussions, lessons, etc, which then made her feel more comfortable asking for help, contributing in class.  Her confidence was building. 


atlmom2
by Susie on Jan. 12, 2014 at 8:52 AM
My dd started telling me in middle school the night before whenever she wanted to be driven to school for math help. Usually a couple times a month. In HS she went early for math help at least once a week.

Quoting momof2ex1: That's my opinion too. She should be more responsible for this part of her school.







Quoting atlmom2: I would contact again. Since you know she is not asking for help ask her to ask for help in those classes. Ask her why she never ask for help herself. She is plenty old enough.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN