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Hospital diagnosed DD with Adjustment Disorder but wants to die?

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2014 at 8:31 AM
  • 14 Replies

I've been having a lot of trouble with my daughter for about 3 years now.  the past year or so she has threatened to hit me, kick me, run away and yesterday said "she'd rather jump in front of a truck and die than live with me".  AND she repeated it later in the day.  So, I call crisis hotline.  they say take her to the ER they'll admit her for evaluation.  

Phyc met with me, her and her dad - then her by herself.  Comes up with "adjustment disorder" because she started a new school in NOVEMBER.  Umm.... she's been like this for nearly 3 years and has had MULTIPLE councelors during that time.  She says she wants to punch me and jump in front of a truck and you think this is because she hasn't adjusted to her new school.

Someone help me to understand this logic 

by on Jan. 31, 2014 at 8:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Carmen66
by Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 8:38 AM

oh wow, she really needs some counseling. I hope you can find the help you need for her. Why does she have so much hate towards you?

GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 9:01 AM
I would demand a second opinion. Either another psych or a different ER. Isn't threats of suicide a automatic 3 day hold?
irishlass569
by Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 9:01 AM

 Thank you.  In a nutshell, three years ago my finances changed so I can no longer "spoil" her with carribean vacations, horseback riding, elaborate birthday parties, etc.  No, she has no use for me because of it.  So maybe she's adjusting to the fact that she has to go to the Jersey shore rather than Cancun. 

I'm so fed up with the system I could just scream

Quoting Carmen66:

oh wow, she really needs some counseling. I hope you can find the help you need for her. Why does she have so much hate towards you?

 

Carmen66
by Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 9:06 AM

She has to understand that life has changes and we have to make compromises. Have her take some type of counseling so she can understand that a life change has occurred. This is hard and I really hope she can change. How old is you daughter?

Quoting irishlass569:

 Thank you.  In a nutshell, three years ago my finances changed so I can no longer "spoil" her with carribean vacations, horseback riding, elaborate birthday parties, etc.  No, she has no use for me because of it.  So maybe she's adjusting to the fact that she has to go to the Jersey shore rather than Cancun. 

I'm so fed up with the system I could just scream

Quoting Carmen66:

oh wow, she really needs some counseling. I hope you can find the help you need for her. Why does she have so much hate towards you?

 


"

irishlass569
by Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 9:47 AM

 She'll be 16 in 4 weeks.  I've had in home and private councelors (4 in 2 years).  In home was a waste.  I hope once she turns 16 she'll get a part time job that will occupy her time

Quoting Carmen66:

She has to understand that life has changes and we have to make compromises. Have her take some type of counseling so she can understand that a life change has occurred. This is hard and I really hope she can change. How old is you daughter?

Quoting irishlass569:

 Thank you.  In a nutshell, three years ago my finances changed so I can no longer "spoil" her with carribean vacations, horseback riding, elaborate birthday parties, etc.  No, she has no use for me because of it.  So maybe she's adjusting to the fact that she has to go to the Jersey shore rather than Cancun. 

I'm so fed up with the system I could just scream

Quoting Carmen66:

oh wow, she really needs some counseling. I hope you can find the help you need for her. Why does she have so much hate towards you?

 


 

irishlass569
by Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 9:47 AM

 

that's what I thought too but I guess we were both wrong

 

Quoting GleekingOut: I would demand a second opinion. Either another psych or a different ER. Isn't threats of suicide a automatic 3 day hold?

 

atlmom2
by Susie on Jan. 31, 2014 at 9:58 AM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like she has issues but can't deal she is no longer spoiled to death.  She needs serious counseling to deal with life. 

momto2inflorida
by Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 11:32 AM

Having a sister who is a psychiatrist has helped me better understand diagnoises and etc. A person can express thoughs of suicide but until they have a plan or intent or say they are unsafe  then they will be hospitalized someone who has passive suicidal ideation will rarely be hospitalized. Adjustment disorder is diagnoised when a stressful situation that has happened 3 months ago causes the person distress. Suicidal thougths could be  labeled as depressive disorder nos if the psych thinks your dd had depression. But to be diagnoised with depression you need over 5 symptoms to be diagnoised with MDD which is Major Depressive Disorder.

Jbinluvbtx3
by on Jan. 31, 2014 at 11:45 AM
You just explained why dr's said it was adjustment disorder. When you can't afford to do all the things you could before it's hard for a child to understand and adjust to the new ways because they were so easily able to before It's not just about the school. She probably does need more counseling someone outside the famy for her to spill her guts out. It might take a few times to find the right one or maube the schools guidance counselor can help as well and I know I went thru a I hate my parents faze as well. So it could be also her hormones are changing and with all the combinations its blowing up right now and she's taking it all out on you. Just don't take her threatening to jump in front of a bus lightly she's obviously crying out for help about something. I'm sure you love her very much and this is extremely hard for you but don't give up. I know you will try your best to help her. I will pray for you and I hope it gets better for both of you.

Quoting irishlass569:

 Thank you.  In a nutshell, three years ago my finances changed so I can no longer "spoil" her with carribean vacations, horseback riding, elaborate birthday parties, etc.  No, she has no use for me because of it.  So maybe she's adjusting to the fact that she has to go to the Jersey shore rather than Cancun. 


I'm so fed up with the system I could just scream


Quoting Carmen66:

oh wow, she really needs some counseling. I hope you can find the help you need for her. Why does she have so much hate towards you?


 

Niccalyn
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 12:32 PM

I can tell you what my 17 year old DD's counselor said to DH and I when we met with her a couple of weeks ago.  When we tell her she can't do or have something (because of financial constraints, safety concerns, whatever), and she acts sullen and bratty about it, offer options if we have them, but then ask her what solutions SHE can come up with to address the situation, outside of her getting what we've already told her she can't have.  I haven't had a chance to try this yet (mainly because my daughter's attitude has suddenly changed and she's acting more like her normal self again), but I realized when the counselor said this that I've never really done that before...I tell her no, explain why, and offer any options I can come up with, but I never really involve her in the process. Apparently allowing your teen to be part of the solution to a perceived problem can go a long way in helping them to adjust to a scenario that has made them unhappy.  Even if she looks at you and says "Uhhhh...IDK?," at least she knows you value her opinion and are trying to arrive at a solution together.  I don't know if this will help much, since your daughter's issues seem to have reached an extreme level, but I figured it was worth mentioning. Best of luck...you are both in my prayers!

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