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She kissed a boy

Posted by on Feb. 2, 2014 at 1:58 PM
  • 12 Replies

My 12 year old kissed a boy at school. She at first didn't want to admit it to me, however her older brother and sister witnessed it. From the bus they saw her kiss him on the bus ramp. She said her friend pressured her to do it. My response was, is he a good boy? Does he cuss or smoke? Does he carry your books? Does he walk you to class? Is he nice to you? And lastly did you like kissing him? I know that kids will be kids, but I'm opposed to this and a relationship at her young age. Further advice is welcomed on the subject!

by on Feb. 2, 2014 at 1:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2014 at 2:36 PM

 Since she did it on a dare I would let it go.

cybcm
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2014 at 3:48 PM
3 moms liked this

If her friend pressured you into it then whether he is a nice boy and so on means absolutely nothing. I would be more concerned about the friend. Good friends do not pressure each other into kissing people, to be pressured into it means you didn't want to do it, either there or at all.
I would be more interested in whether the friend is a good person, is the friend nice to you.

HeathersRich
by Member on Feb. 2, 2014 at 4:52 PM
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Sounds like you need to talk to her about per pressure. She needs to know that she is her own person and there are consequences even if someone else gave her the idea. Not that I'd punish her for kissing a boy but one thing can lead to another or the next dare could be something that could get her in trouble.
momto3infl
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2014 at 5:03 PM

 Bump not sure what advice to give.

GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2014 at 5:45 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd be taking her for a car ride and talking about peer pressure. As much as I do NEED to know if she did like kissing him, (because that changes the aspect of the talk) she does need to know it's not good to be known as the girl who is easily pressured. I would also let her know that as glad as you are that she came to you, that kissing is not something you approve of at that age. I'm surprised big bro didn't step in either :p most brothers I know would have wanted to kill the boy for kissing his sister.
SonjaCo
by New Member on Feb. 2, 2014 at 10:25 PM

Of course I talked to her about peer pressure, first off. I told her she would have been WELL within her right to be frank with her "friend" and tell her to back off and drop the subject, flat out. I told her that getting real with her "friend" would maybe hurt the girls feelings, but only for a moment. The kiss was awkward and she just didn't like it. Which suits me just fine. She has to be more confident! Jr High is no joke! Thanks for the advice, it always helps!

Carmen66
by Member on Feb. 3, 2014 at 9:30 AM
1 mom liked this

My first concern is she is 12. At that age peer pressure is a biggie, tell her she does not have to prove to anybody anything.  

nuts4scouts
by Member on Feb. 3, 2014 at 11:21 AM

Who gives a flying fig about the boy! 

Who cares if he is "good", and carries her books (which in this day/age would be a 50 lb backpack)?

This about your 12 year old feeling "pressured" into doing something she did not really want to do.

My "first response" would be a sincere talk about feeling secure enough to stand up for yourself. For what you believe/want. Also a talk about how real "friends" treat each other.

After that I would let her know - clearly - that kissing/touching/etc is off limits at her age, and maturity level. I might throw in some graphic details about STD's, and other consequences that could happen.

I would remind her about the power of the word NO!

Or, there is always that (proverbial) nunnery where there are only girls to carry each others books!

Quoting SonjaCo:

My response was, is he a good boy? Does he cuss or smoke? Does he carry your books? Does he walk you to class? Is he nice to you? And lastly did you like kissing him? 



Niccalyn
by Bronze Member on Feb. 3, 2014 at 11:27 AM
1 mom liked this

My oldest had her first kiss at 12 also.  She didn't kiss him again until she was 15, LOL.  And she didn't kiss another boy until she was 14.  I think kids sometimes want to get these 'firsts' out of the way, to take the anxiety and apprehension out of the equation.  If you are worried that your daughter is someone who may succumb easily to peer pressure, then that is another problem entirely; but I don't think the fact that she had one quick kiss at age 12 is a reason in and of itself to be concerned.

wintermoon111
by on Feb. 3, 2014 at 1:39 PM
I would talk to her about being her own person and not doing things that she may not want to do to prove herself to others and I would also tell her that her first kiss should be special with someone she likes and thinks is worthy and to wait a bit.
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