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His GF is no good

Posted by on Feb. 10, 2014 at 11:08 AM
  • 8 Replies

My son is 15.   He has adhd so mentally he is more along the lines of a 12 - 13 year old.  He is a freshman in highschool, he earned his varsity letter for cross country and he is on the honor roll. He is dating a girl he met on facebook that goes to middle school in our school district.  Initially I gave this little girl the benefit of the doubt.  I let her come over and watch a movie.  In the car on the drive from our house I hear her talking about how she and a friend took her moms car and drove it around the trailer park that she lives in and how she gets detentions and Saturday schools and her grades suck.  Real winner here I am telling you.  When we get back from dropping her off two boys were coming to visit her at her home.  Well I monitor my son's facebook.  Even while he is grounded from it.  He lost pc privledges for being online at 1:30 in the morning on a school night.   And this girl is playing him like a fiddle.  My guess is she has atleast 2 if not 3 other boyfriends.  My son really likes this girl.   (I dont know why) She swears up and down she doesnt have other boyfriends but atleast 1 other person has told him she is dating this other kid.   And she tags him in all her I love you statuses along with my son.   (She knows he isnt allowed on the pc) He asked her about it once and she said she did it on a Dare.  WTF?  But here is the real kicker when I asked him he said she was 13 and in 8th grade and I just found out she is only 12 and in the 7th grade.   Big no nos.   Anyway her grandparents with whom she lives says they are moving over an hour away which is fabulous but we shall see if this ever comes true.   My guess is it probably wont.   

Anyway what do I do?  I am not taking him to see her or allowing him to see her and he is going to his dads this weekend which is 45 mintues away.   Do I just let it go and pray that she gets bored with toying with my son or do I try and talk to him? Do I butt out?

by on Feb. 10, 2014 at 11:08 AM
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Replies (1-8):
by Trisha on Feb. 10, 2014 at 7:17 PM

She's 12?  I think if it were me I would not let him see her. The age difference is too big. 

by on Feb. 10, 2014 at 7:26 PM

She is 12 and in 7th grade and he is 15?  I think the answer is obvious. NO way.

by Susie on Feb. 10, 2014 at 7:29 PM
Cut this relationship off now. Her grandparents are nuts.
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by Gold Member on Feb. 11, 2014 at 9:14 AM

When my son brought home his first grilfriend i nearly died.  they were in 8th grade and he had just turned 15.  she was pregnant with her 2nd child when they met.  they were in the same class. She was interested in him mostly due to him being the only one close to her age. Most of his classmates were 14 some even just turning 14. She was 16.   The more i had a problem with her the more he wanted to be with her.  I didnt allow them on dates alone tho  cause he was still only 15. It was mostly an in school thing  .  The minute i stopped objecting he started to loose interest.  She stayed in school till she was just about to give birth and then she dropped out.  Last we heard she was going for her GED.   Any girl he brings home now i like.  lol

by Bronze Member on Feb. 11, 2014 at 4:16 PM

These kids are EMOTIONALLY the same age, but PHYSICALLY their ages are a NO NO.  I know your son may think that he won't ever be able to get another GF, and this may be his first "love" or "crush", but tell him now that you know how old she is that is a big no no.  Also, just ask him WHY he likes her?  Don't do it meanly or sarcastically....have him list the reasons, so he doesn't have to explain it to you...maybe she does treat your son differently or maybe this girl is making up stories about the other things, so people pay attention to her & maybe even feel sympathetic for her...??  She obviously is an attention seeker and isn't getting the right type of attention from her grandparents, so she is acting act.  Maybe have your son hang out with her but at your house only, supervised and spend time with her....but don't have your son go over to her house alone!  Maybe give this girl the companionship she maybe needs?  If she thinks your son is not going to be a partner in crime with her - like wont get in trouble with her - than she'll dump him.  And yes, he'll be devastated, but just let him know that there are more (not necessarily better) girls out there!  LOL!

by Kimberly on Feb. 12, 2014 at 11:27 PM

End it NOW.    She is 12!   Way too young to be dating.   Explain to your son that she is just a child, not even a teenager, and he is simply too old for her.

by on Feb. 13, 2014 at 2:47 AM
She's 12. No
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by on Feb. 13, 2014 at 9:49 AM

It's good they aren't in school together.  Keep him busy and wait for her to get bored and move on.  I'll pray about this for both kids and you.

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