Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

I am at the point I am going to start taking SD16s door.

Posted by on Feb. 11, 2014 at 4:34 PM
  • 21 Replies
1 mom liked this

She cannot get it through her head that when we say keep your room clean means all the time.  I now know how to take the door off myself so wait for the post when I do it.

by on Feb. 11, 2014 at 4:34 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
gabyangy
by Member on Feb. 11, 2014 at 4:36 PM
1 mom liked this

I did this to one of my girls and it worked.  Good luck!

StreetsAhead
by Member on Feb. 11, 2014 at 6:02 PM
1 mom liked this
If our rooms weren't kept tidy our belongings got black bin bagged up and we had 2 days to get them back otherwise they were donated.
GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Feb. 11, 2014 at 9:47 PM
8 moms liked this

See, I'm of a different opinion. I feel that as long as the child in question has a clear path from the bed to the door AND to the window - and that there is no food in the room, that it is their room to do as they see fit. I mean, when you have family over, it's not like you're entertaining in the child's room, and if their friends see their room dirty - that reflects on THEM not you. On the other hand though - my kids also know that if they ask me to go somewhere or do something special - that the first thing out of my mouth will be "is your room tidy? Homework done? Chores done?" So they generally keep it pretty tidy. I feel that unless she has done something to NOT deserve privacy (i.e being untrustworthy, slamming doors, sneaking out) then the taking off the door does NOT relate to the "crime" committed.

Senile-felines
by Member on Feb. 11, 2014 at 9:51 PM
My boys learned from this. Their black sack got one week, or it was gone. They are great now.

Quoting StreetsAhead: If our rooms weren't kept tidy our belongings got black bin bagged up and we had 2 days to get them back otherwise they were donated.
Msgme
by Bronze Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 8:43 AM

I kinda agree.  I gave up the fight about their rooms a long time ago.  It was just causing me more stress.  My sons dog spends most of his time in my sons room so he knows he can't leave food anywhere  and if i'm not tripping over stuff when i walk in there i dont really care.   I do have the rule no friends over unless your room is clean.  My girls do a better job with keeping things neater. I have a shitzu that is very old and very blind and he can't always hold it in and will pee on himself.  My girls like to let him sleep in their room at night.  I keep wee wee pads pretty much in every room but he can't always tell the difference between a wee wee pad and a shirt or something. so they have to keep the floor clean for him.

Quoting GleekingOut:

See, I'm of a different opinion. I feel that as long as the child in question has a clear path from the bed to the door AND to the window - and that there is no food in the room, that it is their room to do as they see fit. I mean, when you have family over, it's not like you're entertaining in the child's room, and if their friends see their room dirty - that reflects on THEM not you. On the other hand though - my kids also know that if they ask me to go somewhere or do something special - that the first thing out of my mouth will be "is your room tidy? Homework done? Chores done?" So they generally keep it pretty tidy. I feel that unless she has done something to NOT deserve privacy (i.e being untrustworthy, slamming doors, sneaking out) then the taking off the door does NOT relate to the "crime" committed.


Khanfan
by Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 9:36 AM


Quoting GleekingOut:

See, I'm of a different opinion. I feel that as long as the child in question has a clear path from the bed to the door AND to the window - and that there is no food in the room, that it is their room to do as they see fit. I mean, when you have family over, it's not like you're entertaining in the child's room, and if their friends see their room dirty - that reflects on THEM not you. On the other hand though - my kids also know that if they ask me to go somewhere or do something special - that the first thing out of my mouth will be "is your room tidy? Homework done? Chores done?" So they generally keep it pretty tidy. I feel that unless she has done something to NOT deserve privacy (i.e being untrustworthy, slamming doors, sneaking out) then the taking off the door does NOT relate to the "crime" committed.

Good point.  The consequences should fit the behavior/crime.

My dad thought he would shame me into cleaning up my room by showing his party guests my room one evening.  I didn't like that and understood what he was doing, but I didn't think "uhoh Mrs Smith saw that I don't clean my room, I'd better change my behavior.


Khanfan
by Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 9:46 AM

If she lives to be 100, how many years will she get to be a little messy, after her teen years are over and she has to be a grown up for the next 80 years?  This is small stuff when I look at the big picture.  When I was 16...


Niccalyn
by Bronze Member on Feb. 12, 2014 at 10:33 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with some of the other posters that a messy room just isn't that big of a deal.  My oldest is a terrible pack rat and her room looks messy most of the time, but she doesn't keep food or beverages in it so it is isn't gross, just untidy.  When I don't want to see it I just close her door.  She goes through every now and then and cleans it up but it gets messy again in less time than it took her to clean it up.

The thing I insist on is that they put their laundry away and don't leave their stuff laying around the rest of the house, and they are pretty good about that, so I'm happy!

wintermoon111
by on Feb. 12, 2014 at 12:34 PM
1 mom liked this
my father use to say "clean your room or I will and I'll throw everything out" ....*me running as a little girl to go save my stuff*
Liifeiisabeach
by on Feb. 12, 2014 at 1:20 PM
2 moms liked this

When I was a teen my mom gave up and just made me keep my door closed, so she didn't have to see the mess. We have the same attitude with DSD13. We make her clean it once a week so she can vacuum the floor, but the next day it's back to being a mess. She has to live in it, not me.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)