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Consequences that really make a difference

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2014 at 1:20 PM
  • 14 Replies

I need ideas on consequences. I know to fit the crime, but what really works for your teens?


by on Feb. 12, 2014 at 1:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Niccalyn
by Bronze Member on Feb. 13, 2014 at 11:03 AM
Taking their phones, or threatening to cut off their data plans. Inspires real panic...and they do whatever we ask!
Debmomto2girls
by Member on Feb. 13, 2014 at 6:31 PM
1 mom liked this

Honestly? I do not have any.  We keep an open line of communication. Came up with the house rules together and I've haven't had any problems yet.  I always tell them...I will trust you until you give me a reason not to

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Feb. 13, 2014 at 10:23 PM

Taking away their freedom and priveledges.   Video games were a huge motivator for my son.  Taking them away was like taking his right arm!




tyfry7496
by Silver Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 12:38 AM
1 mom liked this
Find their kryptonite and use it. It's different for every child and situation.
butzi
by Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 8:58 AM
I have two teens left in the house, we don't spend a lot of time with this. The boys as a general rule do the things we need them to do. Things that are less important, things that we'd like them to do, but the boys certAinly deserve a voice in the decision making process, then we have co. We have open honest conversations where everyone voices their wants needs or desires.
alishahill
by New Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 1:19 PM

    Taking away phones and internet did not work on my son. When I started to use punishments that made him feel less macho, he quickly changed his grades and attitude. For example, he hates being made to rub my feet, or to give his sister a pedicure!

cybcm
by Bronze Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 1:23 PM
1 mom liked this
Same here.

In addition, if something goes askew we find out why. I know it's an unpopular opinion, but punish first and maybe figure out later if I have time to doesn't fly with me.

Quoting Debmomto2girls:

Honestly? I do not have any.  We keep an open line of communication. Came up with the house rules together and I've haven't had any problems yet.  I always tell them...I will trust you until you give me a reason not to

Debmomto2girls
by Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 1:38 PM
1 mom liked this

I completely agree. I do not think kids are inherently bad.  I think they do not always make the right choices or know what to do with their feelings. I do not think they do it on purpose.  I would rather talk first.  My girls are both teenagers 13 & 16 and have never been grounded or punished.  There has never been  need.

Quoting cybcm: Same here.

In addition, if something goes askew we find out why. I know it's an unpopular opinion, but punish first and maybe figure out later if I have time to doesn't fly with me.

Quoting Debmomto2girls:

Honestly? I do not have any.  We keep an open line of communication. Came up with the house rules together and I've haven't had any problems yet.  I always tell them...I will trust you until you give me a reason not to


ItsaJOB
by Member on Feb. 16, 2014 at 4:33 PM

The consequences were laid out for offenses FIRST, so my DD knew what would happen if she faultered.  She still has faultered along the way.  Consequences involved....loss of texting, loss of phone, loss of weekend outings w/friends, loss of use of the car.   It happens.  

courtseanryan
by Member on Feb. 17, 2014 at 8:45 AM

My kids usually don't really need consequences but if they do its usually electronics. My dd lost phone or car use. My older son his grades dropped so he lost his xbox and computer other than school work. I only had to do that once and he stays on top of it now. Younger really hasn't had consequences yetother than not going with his friends to scooter for having attitude.

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