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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Are you kidding me?!?!

Posted by on Feb. 15, 2014 at 9:27 PM
  • 10 Replies
My soon to be 14 yr old dd went to her dad's. Her dad sends me a text around 6 askin me did I pick our dd up from the mall because she told him I was picking her up and him not worry about getting her. I haven't spoken to my dd since this morning by text. Both her father and I have been trying to reach her. No answer. No nothing. Totally freaking out I leave to head to mall so I can find my dd. Thinking someone did something just a mother's worse fear their child being taken or something! Long story short she text me tell me she is hanging with her friend that her dad said it was ok.i call her! I'm like ok caitlin that's lie 1. Goes saying she really is over her best friend house. Lie 2. I called she is spending time with her family. Than she goes in say how she is about to be 14 I'm treating her like a baby. I don't give her enough space!"I don't trust her at all. Well gee when she lies how am I suppose to trust her! She tells me she's hanging out with her new friend for me to get off her back! Hangs up in my face! I call her back and she screams mom your embarrassing me. I demanded her to tell me where she was. I finally found her a little while ago with a BOY! Suck marks on her neck! I'm so furious!"I don't even know to handle this!!!!
by on Feb. 15, 2014 at 9:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SweetPoison
by on Feb. 15, 2014 at 9:29 PM
3 moms liked this

I'd groud her in a heartbeat. I'd take her phone, her computer and i'd be driving her to and from school everyday for like 2 weeks.

Shes 14 not 17. If she proves to be untrustworthy (which obvi she did) there is consquences and you need to tell her that. End of story.


HeathersRich
by Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 9:35 PM
:( Sounds like school and her room are the only places she'll be seeing for a long time. I'd be furious too. She needs to understand that if she doesn't want to be treated like a baby then she needs to grow up and act her age. I have had that conversation with my 13 year old many times.
brookerenee45
by on Feb. 15, 2014 at 9:48 PM
She just got her phone back Thursday. That was first thing I ask her for when she got in the car! And told her no internet. No going over to friends house. No nothing! She starts yelling at me in the car saying how she is going to stay with her father because at least she wouldn't be treated like a baby or have to see me. That it's not her fault my dh is how he is towards me I shouldn't take it out on her. I don't get how she thinks I'm taking my problems on her because I want her safe! I want her to live a better life than the path she's choosing to go down!

Quoting SweetPoison:

I'd groud her in a heartbeat. I'd take her phone, her computer and i'd be driving her to and from school everyday for like 2 weeks.

Shes 14 not 17. If she proves to be untrustworthy (which obvi she did) there is consquences and you need to tell her that. End of story.


brookerenee45
by on Feb. 15, 2014 at 9:51 PM
Right!!!! And it's like her father says I'm taking it way out of proportion! That as long I keep holding onto her the way I do she will continue to rebel like she's doin. I ask him than for him to tell me how I need to handle this. Why don't he handle it if I'm doing everything so frigging wrong!!! Ugh

Quoting HeathersRich: :( Sounds like school and her room are the only places she'll be seeing for a long time. I'd be furious too. She needs to understand that if she doesn't want to be treated like a baby then she needs to grow up and act her age. I have had that conversation with my 13 year old many times.
nuts4scouts
by Member on Feb. 16, 2014 at 6:23 PM

So her father is OK with his 14 year old daughter lying to both of you, and having sexual relations with a boy?

Since she "just got her phone back", this obviously is not the first time this has happened.

Let her know - exactly - why you are upset.

Explain that you are treating her exactly in the way she is acting. She has proven she is immature, and untrustworthy. She now has to suffer the consequences of her actions and earn your trust, and her freedoms, back.

She would be grounded, with a CLEAR set of expectations to be met, in a CLEAR - WRITTEN, timetable.

Her father would go along with expectations and consequences or I would restrict visitation to supervised, in my home only. 

KW123
by Member on Feb. 16, 2014 at 7:11 PM

A good father would have called you in front of the daughter to confirm that you were picking her up at the mall BEFORE dropping her off at the mall.

brookerenee45
by on Feb. 16, 2014 at 11:39 PM
No. He isn't ok with her messing around with boys. He never was to involved with the kids when we were married because he worked alot! So everything was on me always when it came to discipline just everything. It was and still can be frustrating. As in now. She goes to his house most weekends. And he gives her what she wants, she manipulates between us two. All of this just started before the holidays. She changed. She has all this anger built up at me. I know teenage girls can be this way. I never dealt with how she's behaving because yer older sibilings did not do the things she is doin. I talk with her father today about how we need to be on same page of parenting. That he needs to way more active in discipline her. Talking with her. I think she really is wanting her dad's attention but she is going about it wrong way. We are going start therapy this week. Maybe she needs a safe place to talk other than her sister and me. I asked her how far she has gone with a guy before. She tells she done it all and likes it. That I can't stop her because she will do what she wants. I ask her do she want a baby? Disease? Because that's what will happen if she continue down this path. I told her she is worth so much more than being use as a sex object and giving herself away the way she's doing. I don't know what else to do to be honest!. I can't watch her 24/7. I can control my dropping her off to school and picking her up. But depending of work I can't be home all the time. I'm lost and frustraed!

Quoting nuts4scouts:

So her father is OK with his 14 year old daughter lying to both of you, and having sexual relations with a boy?

Since she "just got her phone back", this obviously is not the first time this has happened.

Let her know - exactly - why you are upset.

Explain that you are treating her exactly in the way she is acting. She has proven she is immature, and untrustworthy. She now has to suffer the consequences of her actions and earn your trust, and her freedoms, back.

She would be grounded, with a CLEAR set of expectations to be met, in a CLEAR - WRITTEN, timetable.

Her father would go along with expectations and consequences or I would restrict visitation to supervised, in my home only. 

brookerenee45
by on Feb. 16, 2014 at 11:42 PM
Yes that is true!

Quoting KW123:

A good father would have called you in front of the daughter to confirm that you were picking her up at the mall BEFORE dropping her off at the mall.

garfieldplanner
by Member on Feb. 17, 2014 at 12:30 PM
1 mom liked this

The one and only time one of my children tried to get loud with me she ended up getting her behind tore up. My kids know that we are lenient on a lot of things but lying and being disrespectful are not tolerated and are severely punished. It sounds like you and your ex need to get on the same page and unite to remind her that she is the child and as the parents you are in charge.

owlfeather919
by Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 12:08 AM
This. That is so scary. Yup I would be on her every move until she can earn your trust back. That is so disrespectful. Nuh uh. I would blow a gasket. Watch her like a hawk, good luck Momma.

Quoting SweetPoison:

I'd groud her in a heartbeat. I'd take her phone, her computer and i'd be driving her to and from school everyday for like 2 weeks.

Shes 14 not 17. If she proves to be untrustworthy (which obvi she did) there is consquences and you need to tell her that. End of story.


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