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Xbox and online games ... Anyone?

Posted by on Feb. 17, 2014 at 5:01 PM
  • 14 Replies
I'm really ignorant to the game world but my husband is not. He is a gamer and is an IT guy so he knows all about this stuff. He has rubbed off on to my daughter who now loves playing games. No problem there. She is respectful of time limits and sharing with her brother and stepdad.

I am just wondering if anyone has dealt with the online chatting that goes with the games. She's playing a game - I don't even know what it is called and has several different people in her group. We've talked to her about not giving out info - etc - and to understand that people may say they are 13 but could be 53. Don't trust anyone online.

She understands this.

But today she asked me if she could do Xbox live and chat with someone who is in her group. It's a boy.

I can't get ahold of my husband to see what he thinks. I know he is going to say no. She's upset and doesn't understand why I won't say yes and really the only reason I'm saying no is because I don't know enough about it. I know my husband talks with his friends but these are friends he actually knows in real life. Not just met online.

So does anyone have any experience with this?
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by on Feb. 17, 2014 at 5:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Feb. 17, 2014 at 5:29 PM

I'm extremely curious as to what the difference is between her chatting with the group and chatting with this individual boy. My kids (eldest has moved out) are NOT allowed to play games on Xbox live - but they're 10 and 8. I've also taken the time to sit down with them and watch them play every game they play - and place restrictions if need be; for instance, my DS10 was allowed to play "Halo" on the condition that he turned off the gore (it made his elder sister sick - literally) and that he ONLY played the single player, non-Xbox live, disk because I knew there were people swearing and stuff all over the place. Less than 10 minutes after I let him play for the second time, my elder DD opened the case for some reason or another and informed me that he was playing the other disk - so he lost the privliege of playing that game. There are ways that you can monitor the conversation though - by not allowing her to use headphones, putting a second pair on yourself, etc.

momof2ex1
by Member on Feb. 17, 2014 at 6:26 PM
She's only allowed two games. Sims and Minecraft. She's been playing sims under the direct supervision of my husband because he does not like the sims game and believes it can be dangerous with chatting.

I don't know what you mean by what's the difference? Are you meaning why she wants to change from group chatting to individual chat? If so, that was my concern as well.

My husband supervises the games. If it were up to me there would be no game systems in my home. I don't like them. And mostly because I don't understand everything. I really do feel stupid to most of it all. I've been sitting with her during Minecraft because that actually is kind of a neat game. This other game, Sims - seems to be too involved with the outside world.

Can't she just crush candy or shoot darts?

Quoting GleekingOut:

I'm extremely curious as to what the difference is between her chatting with the group and chatting with this individual boy. My kids (eldest has moved out) are NOT allowed to play games on Xbox live - but they're 10 and 8. I've also taken the time to sit down with them and watch them play every game they play - and place restrictions if need be; for instance, my DS10 was allowed to play "Halo" on the condition that he turned off the gore (it made his elder sister sick - literally) and that he ONLY played the single player, non-Xbox live, disk because I knew there were people swearing and stuff all over the place. Less than 10 minutes after I let him play for the second time, my elder DD opened the case for some reason or another and informed me that he was playing the other disk - so he lost the privliege of playing that game. There are ways that you can monitor the conversation though - by not allowing her to use headphones, putting a second pair on yourself, etc.

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GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Feb. 17, 2014 at 6:44 PM

You can't talk to ANYONE on sims. Trust me - I play it reguarly. It can be addictive yes - but not dangerous.

I'd honestly tell her I wasn't comfortable with her chatting individually yet. You don't have to give a reason - but it does sound more 'reasonable' than "I'm the mom and I say this".

I'm the opposite - I can't stand minecraft. And no - you don't want her playing candy crush lol! It's so addictive :P  I love it

Quoting momof2ex1: She's only allowed two games. Sims and Minecraft. She's been playing sims under the direct supervision of my husband because he does not like the sims game and believes it can be dangerous with chatting.

I don't know what you mean by what's the difference? Are you meaning why she wants to change from group chatting to individual chat? If so, that was my concern as well.

My husband supervises the games. If it were up to me there would be no game systems in my home. I don't like them. And mostly because I don't understand everything. I really do feel stupid to most of it all. I've been sitting with her during Minecraft because that actually is kind of a neat game. This other game, Sims - seems to be too involved with the outside world.

Can't she just crush candy or shoot darts?

Quoting GleekingOut:

I'm extremely curious as to what the difference is between her chatting with the group and chatting with this individual boy. My kids (eldest has moved out) are NOT allowed to play games on Xbox live - but they're 10 and 8. I've also taken the time to sit down with them and watch them play every game they play - and place restrictions if need be; for instance, my DS10 was allowed to play "Halo" on the condition that he turned off the gore (it made his elder sister sick - literally) and that he ONLY played the single player, non-Xbox live, disk because I knew there were people swearing and stuff all over the place. Less than 10 minutes after I let him play for the second time, my elder DD opened the case for some reason or another and informed me that he was playing the other disk - so he lost the privliege of playing that game. There are ways that you can monitor the conversation though - by not allowing her to use headphones, putting a second pair on yourself, etc.


boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Feb. 18, 2014 at 10:28 PM

Yes.   My sons have played X Box live for years.    We have never had an issue.   They have always known not to give out pertinent info.

cybcm
by Bronze Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 3:18 AM
Pretty sure there isn't a chat function on the sims? Minecraft is a different story.
Carmen66
by Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 9:00 AM

you are doing the right thing, if you feel uncomfortable her chatting online with a stranger then she has to deal with it. 

momof2ex1
by Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 11:29 AM
Yeah my husband schooled me on games last night lol it is called Clash of clans. Or something. I've already forgotten. The good thing here is my husband and her share the game. They are both playing it together. He said there is nothing wrong with text chatting but she isn't ready for the headset unless it's someone she knows.

Quoting cybcm: Pretty sure there isn't a chat function on the sims? Minecraft is a different story.
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butzi
by Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 8:07 AM
I just spoke to my 18 year old son, he and his 16 year old brother have been gaming for several years. He said she should be safe as long she is VERY clear about not giving out her real name, address (not even her city),age, or gender. He said most safe people understand that those are basically the rules for everyone, so they don't try to get you to give them out. He would be concerned with anyone who tries to get her to give that info out.
Msgme
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 8:39 AM
1 mom liked this

my son has had his xbox since he was 13. ive never had a problem wih his chatting via the headset.  he has met a group a friends that have stayed friends over the years.  he's always been careful about what he says. he lets my younger dd talk while she  is playing games as well.  he just has certain games that he does not let her play with the headset due to some games having ppl who can be a bit vulgar.

momof2ex1
by Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 11:21 AM
Thank you for the info!!

Quoting butzi: I just spoke to my 18 year old son, he and his 16 year old brother have been gaming for several years. He said she should be safe as long she is VERY clear about not giving out her real name, address (not even her city),age, or gender. He said most safe people understand that those are basically the rules for everyone, so they don't try to get you to give them out. He would be concerned with anyone who tries to get her to give that info out.
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