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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

13 year old and school work

Posted by on Feb. 18, 2014 at 5:22 PM
  • 11 Replies

I need some advice.

My 13 year old is struggling "remembering" to do his assignments. Which is a tad confusing as he does really well in some classes and in other he has issues. He is a good kid, hates missing school, does not have behavioral issues at home or at school. He does sports. But he just is so distracted that he does not complete his work, or he completes it and does not turn it in and ends up getting a missing grade. Which in turn, he is required to get signatures from teachers that is turned in and if he doesnt he gets detention. Which is where my confusion is, he hates telling me he has detention or his dad.

Any help would be great.

 

Thanks!

by on Feb. 18, 2014 at 5:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 18, 2014 at 5:54 PM
What punishments do you give? Make sure he does his work. If not stiff punishment. I did not tolerate zeros for missing work. Therefore mine turned in all work or I rocked their world.
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NRB206
by Member on Feb. 18, 2014 at 9:20 PM
Everything gets taken away. Cell, xbox, computer. All he can do is read. Yet it still happens weekly. Im at a standstill on ideas.
EyEmTuRtLe
by Bronze Member on Feb. 18, 2014 at 9:59 PM

Nightly checklist of assignments posted on the back of the door that he can look at on his way out every day.

Pnukey
by on Feb. 18, 2014 at 10:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Can you check the grades online? I find dd's missing assignments sometimes this way and then she has to do it whether her teacher will accept it or not.

LovingParent08
by Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 1:53 AM
DH and I also have online access to homework, attendance and grades. We encourage A's and B's and don't accept anything lower than C's. If they do bring home a C, privileges are modified. If lower than a C, privileges are gone for the remainder of the grading period or until they bring it up to a C, whichever is longer. Maybe try talking to the teacher he's struggling with and set up a meeting? Good Luck!
PosinourHarmony
by Silver Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 3:07 AM
1 mom liked this

What is distracting him? There's a reason why he's being distracted. Find out why and start there. There might be more to it and punishing him might not fix the problem. Kids can be absent-minded. Make a check list have him keep it in his folder....

NRB206
by Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 10:52 AM

I actually have an app on my phone. Every time time he gets a grade or a missing assignment I get notified immediatley. But so far this week I have made him stay after school, to do homework and also redo some work to get better grades. He hated that!!! we will see how it goes. I told him as long as he is getting missing assignments he will be staying after school.

Thanks ladies. much appreciated.

mamavalor
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 8:01 PM

I nag.  And if she wants me off her back, then she needs to show me that she can be responsible and do things without me breathing down her neck.  This method works with my DD.  I got the idea when DD came home once saying that one of her teachers embarrasses students with parents who constantly contact teachers.  ;)

Saphira1207
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 8:15 PM
2 moms liked this

This,

If he's normally a good student and person and dislikes doing badly in school then this must be making him very upset with himself...

That plus whatever it is that got him distracted in the first place are what you should be figuring out and working on.  Punishments over grades and missing work won't fix the problem permanently, they'll just distract him even more and make getting back on track harder.

Quoting PosinourHarmony:

What is distracting him? There's a reason why he's being distracted. Find out why and start there. There might be more to it and punishing him might not fix the problem. Kids can be absent-minded. Make a check list have him keep it in his folder....


NRB206
by Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 11:30 AM

 

Quoting Saphira1207:

This,

If he's normally a good student and person and dislikes doing badly in school then this must be making him very upset with himself...

That plus whatever it is that got him distracted in the first place are what you should be figuring out and working on.  Punishments over grades and missing work won't fix the problem permanently, they'll just distract him even more and make getting back on track harder.

Quoting PosinourHarmony:

What is distracting him? There's a reason why he's being distracted. Find out why and start there. There might be more to it and punishing him might not fix the problem. Kids can be absent-minded. Make a check list have him keep it in his folder....

You are right. I thought of that.Im not sure how to help him though, he simply says he forgets to do the work. He is a very good kid. He is very respectful, hates missing school or bieng late. He loves sports, has lots of friends. I have called the school teachers, the counselors, to find some help and they just see him as Student #246. I have taken both approaches as far as punishments, groundings, etc. I have also taken the reward route.

So complicated.

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