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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Help Teenage daughter

Posted by on Feb. 19, 2014 at 7:12 AM
  • 12 Replies

I am at wits end with my 15 year old daughter. She has been in counseling. Nothing works with this child. She hardly ever goes to school. Always has some kind of ailment. We have had her at the doctors numerous times and they all say nothing is wrong with her but she will not take any advice from anyone. We have talked to her til we are blue in the face have threatened to cancel her 16th birthday party and not let her go to driving school. She wants to go to college but she puts no effort forth. The school has already threatened to kick her out and make her homeschool the rest of the year and she doesnt' want that . She gives me a fit every morning. She has no real social life because she doesn't go anywhere. She is always in her room which is a total dissaster. She has no regards to anything me or my husband say. She thinks we have no clue on how she feels. This is insane and I do not know what to do anymore. Anyone have any advice? Somethings gotta give cause me and her father are at a loss. She is always sick with something.

by on Feb. 19, 2014 at 7:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 19, 2014 at 8:08 AM
1 mom liked this
No college, no driving school. Stick to your threats. Make her home school. Make her clean her room. You are the parent.
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croneasm
by on Feb. 19, 2014 at 8:13 AM

sounds emotional/mental to me so I recommend finding a counselor or local mental health facility that works with teens

HopesNDreams
by Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 8:15 AM
She sounds depressed. Find a counseling center that has both therapists and a psychiatrist on staff. Some meds may make all the difference in the world.
GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 8:15 AM
Physically take her to school if you have to. I've done that with one of mine as a teen. Literally brought her to the car. Take ALL her privileges away, at this point she knows you won't follow through. You need to be consistent.
Carmen66
by Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 8:39 AM

i think she might be going through some type of depression. Is she being bullied or pressured? She needs some counseling to help her snap out of it. 

JessicaR7
by Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 10:55 AM

 Somethings not right here...she is seeking total isolation right now.  Find a therapist for her individually or for both of you to go together.  There were times my daughter wanted me to go to sessions with her so ask her if she wants to see a therapist privately or would like you to go with her to the initial visit/consultation.

Niccalyn
by Bronze Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 12:58 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting JessicaR7:

 Somethings not right here...she is seeking total isolation right now.  Find a therapist for her individually or for both of you to go together.  There were times my daughter wanted me to go to sessions with her so ask her if she wants to see a therapist privately or would like you to go with her to the initial visit/consultation.

I agree with this. I had a bit of this behavior going on when I was 13.  It related to a move my family made when I was 12; I was a shy kid and didn't make friends easily, so I was really having a hard time fitting in at my new school.  I developed a lot of physical ailments but they were pretty much all caused by psychological stress.  I finally started getting closer to one girl (who was also new to the school), and as that bond became stronger I was less stressed about going to school and also started to branch out and make other friends.  Just one friend made all the difference!  I don't know if your DD is having social problems at school but if so, it really can wreak havoc on an adolescent's life.  A good counselor/therapist should be able to get to the bottom of this.

suesues
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 7:14 AM

new drs counseling for her check her hormone levels 

busyasabee
by New Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 8:20 AM

 Thank you all for the comments and advice. We have had her in counseling through a private company where they would meet with her at school. I took her to a psychologist who prescribed her with meds but she refuses to take them. She says she isn't depressed but i disagree. She normally isn't a "bad" kid but for some reason since last February is when all hell broke loose. When she does go to school she comes home pretty happy cause she hung out with the friends she has there. I've been to the school, talked to the counselors there along with the Vice Principle. She did get up this morning and caught the bus. I was taking her everyday but I told her she needs to own up to her responsibiliries and catch the bus like all the other kids. Really need to get her under control. We can not continue to live like this.

irishlass569
by Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 1:44 PM
1 mom liked this

 I can identify with what your going through for the most part.  3 years of counselors, therapists, physc's..... their diagnosis ranged from depression to "adjustment disorder" (because my finances changed 3 years ago and now she can't be spoiled).  One therapist saw through her crap and called her out on it saying your a spoiled brat and you need to get over it.  My daughter's grades are horrible.  Room disgusting.  and disrespectful!!!.. she talks to me like I'm garbage... so...

1.  Take her to school if you have to drag her there.  If she is conscience she goes to school.

2.  take everything away (currently my daughter has no cell, no tablet and her 16th BD party scheduled for next sunday - canceled).

At the end of the day, if she wants to go to college SHE has to do the work to get there... you can't want it more than she does.  I can't tell you how many meetings I've had at the school me begging them to give her opportunities to make up homework that she outright refuses to do... no more.... I tell them "i can't make her do it and I can't make her care so leave her back if you have to".  That might sound cruel but like you I'm at my wits end.  Stay positive :-)

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