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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Article...Helping Troubled kids

Posted by on Feb. 19, 2014 at 8:50 AM
  • 9 Replies

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/troubled-teens.htm


As a mother of 3, youngest being 19 I really hate how some parents are being treated by their teens. My kids knew better, I'm an old school mom and if you got out of line you get your ass beat. I read the post everyday and wonder how some mothers let their kids get away with the things that they do. I know it's hard and it breaks your heart, but you are a mother we are strong and powerful and what we say goes. Growing up my mother would not put up with any bullshit from us, you messed up you got your ass beat. The problem nowadays kids have too much freedom and are allowed to do what they want. In my house you get rewarded, but you have to earn it. i understand parents like to spoil their kids, but there are limits and I will be damned if I'm gonna let you have something when you wanna throw a tantrum and talk to me that way. Mothers, we have backbones and we need to used them. Let these kids know that either it's my way or the highway. 


by on Feb. 19, 2014 at 8:50 AM
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Replies (1-9):
JessicaR7
by Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 10:28 AM
2 moms liked this

 I have an 18 year old and an 11 year old.  My approach to parenting is that I parent my kids my way and I don't judge or tell others how to parent their kids.  Unless I have walked in their shoes, lived in their home, and dealt with their child I really have no clue what they are dealing with.  All I can do is offer advice and support. The link you provided is useful to those struggling.  Some parents are dealing with life and death issues concerning their child and the shape up or ship out approach doesn't work.  Especially when drugs, suicidal tendencies, or sexual abuse are in play.  Teens act out in various ways because they don't know how to cope with certain issues and we don't always know what is going on in another person's home or the struggles their kids and parents are enduring. 

Carmen66
by Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 10:29 AM

i can understand that, the article is to help out parents. The post is about what I feel as my opinion and what i do as a mother. Some parents need help and advice as well as support. 

Quoting JessicaR7:

 I have an 18 year old and an 11 year old.  My approach to parenting is that I parent my kids my way and I don't judge or tell others how to parent their kids.  Unless I have walked in their shoes, lived in their home, and dealt with their child I really have no clue what they are dealing with.  All I can do is offer advice and support. The link you provided is useful to those struggling.  Some parents are dealing with life and death issues concerning their child and the shape up or ship out approach doesn't work.  Especially when drugs, suicidal tendencies, or sexual abuse are in play.  Teens act out in various ways because they don't know how to cope with certain issues and we don't always know what is going on in another person's home or the struggles their kids and parents are enduring. 



PosinourHarmony
by Silver Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 2:59 PM

You have to start at an early age. Age 1 when they start walking you have to start teaching them right from wrong. To many parents wanna be their friend first....and you can't do that. My boys know....that just because I'm laid back and not very strict....I am their mother FIRST....and if they need ta put back in place I am always the 1st person their ta put them back in that place. 16 years old and still made to stand in the corner? Hell yea....this mamma doesn't play. To many people don't want their children ta be mad at them. Shiiit!! Be pissed off....you can be mad in your room under my roof under my watch where I know your safe and sound.

LovingParent08
by Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 3:25 AM
I understand totally, I was that "friend" parent at one time. I wasn't so worried about them being mad at me but wanted more to make it easier for them to come to me with anything. Long story short, it didn't work and my kids started getting out of line with the smart mouth, not taking me seriously, etc. I quickly realized that I was the problem and slowly changed the way I parented. I became more strict, enforced discipline and stuck to it and THAT worked. It was tough at first because they were used to a laid back, fun mom and rebelled. Things got worse before they got better. I stuck it out and in the end, ended up with more respectful, trusted and talkative kids. I'm just grateful I realized what I had done and was able to fix it before it was too late. We all make mistakes as parents and my kids still have off days, however, now, they aren't as often and we're able to talk it through and work it out together.
Carmen66
by Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 7:24 AM

as a parent i understand you 100%, we are not perfect but we have to make the best of it because they depend on us.

Quoting LovingParent08: I understand totally, I was that "friend" parent at one time. I wasn't so worried about them being mad at me but wanted more to make it easier for them to come to me with anything. Long story short, it didn't work and my kids started getting out of line with the smart mouth, not taking me seriously, etc. I quickly realized that I was the problem and slowly changed the way I parented. I became more strict, enforced discipline and stuck to it and THAT worked. It was tough at first because they were used to a laid back, fun mom and rebelled. Things got worse before they got better. I stuck it out and in the end, ended up with more respectful, trusted and talkative kids. I'm just grateful I realized what I had done and was able to fix it before it was too late. We all make mistakes as parents and my kids still have off days, however, now, they aren't as often and we're able to talk it through and work it out together.



Carmen66
by Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 7:25 AM

exactly, they wanna be mad be mad you aint hurting me by doing that.

Quoting PosinourHarmony:

You have to start at an early age. Age 1 when they start walking you have to start teaching them right from wrong. To many parents wanna be their friend first....and you can't do that. My boys know....that just because I'm laid back and not very strict....I am their mother FIRST....and if they need ta put back in place I am always the 1st person their ta put them back in that place. 16 years old and still made to stand in the corner? Hell yea....this mamma doesn't play. To many people don't want their children ta be mad at them. Shiiit!! Be pissed off....you can be mad in your room under my roof under my watch where I know your safe and sound.



LovingParent08
by Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 10:52 AM
Thank you for not judging me, I appreciate it. I was certain I was going to get bashed quite heavily for my post because I used to be the very parent this post was referring to.
Quoting Carmen66:

as a parent i understand you 100%, we are not perfect but we have to make the best of it because they depend on us.

Quoting LovingParent08: I understand totally, I was that "friend" parent at one time. I wasn't so worried about them being mad at me but wanted more to make it easier for them to come to me with anything. Long story short, it didn't work and my kids started getting out of line with the smart mouth, not taking me seriously, etc. I quickly realized that I was the problem and slowly changed the way I parented. I became more strict, enforced discipline and stuck to it and THAT worked. It was tough at first because they were used to a laid back, fun mom and rebelled. Things got worse before they got better. I stuck it out and in the end, ended up with more respectful, trusted and talkative kids. I'm just grateful I realized what I had done and was able to fix it before it was too late. We all make mistakes as parents and my kids still have off days, however, now, they aren't as often and we're able to talk it through and work it out together.

Carmen66
by Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 11:04 AM

your welcome, i would never judge cause everyones upbringing is different. 

Quoting LovingParent08: Thank you for not judging me, I appreciate it. I was certain I was going to get bashed quite heavily for my post because I used to be the very parent this post was referring to.
Quoting Carmen66:

as a parent i understand you 100%, we are not perfect but we have to make the best of it because they depend on us.

Quoting LovingParent08: I understand totally, I was that "friend" parent at one time. I wasn't so worried about them being mad at me but wanted more to make it easier for them to come to me with anything. Long story short, it didn't work and my kids started getting out of line with the smart mouth, not taking me seriously, etc. I quickly realized that I was the problem and slowly changed the way I parented. I became more strict, enforced discipline and stuck to it and THAT worked. It was tough at first because they were used to a laid back, fun mom and rebelled. Things got worse before they got better. I stuck it out and in the end, ended up with more respectful, trusted and talkative kids. I'm just grateful I realized what I had done and was able to fix it before it was too late. We all make mistakes as parents and my kids still have off days, however, now, they aren't as often and we're able to talk it through and work it out together.



LovingParent08
by Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 5:32 PM
This is so true and sadly most people don't look at things that way :/
Quoting Carmen66:

your welcome, i would never judge cause everyones upbringing is different. 

Quoting LovingParent08: Thank you for not judging me, I appreciate it. I was certain I was going to get bashed quite heavily for my post because I used to be the very parent this post was referring to.
Quoting Carmen66:

as a parent i understand you 100%, we are not perfect but we have to make the best of it because they depend on us.

Quoting LovingParent08: I understand totally, I was that "friend" parent at one time. I wasn't so worried about them being mad at me but wanted more to make it easier for them to come to me with anything. Long story short, it didn't work and my kids started getting out of line with the smart mouth, not taking me seriously, etc. I quickly realized that I was the problem and slowly changed the way I parented. I became more strict, enforced discipline and stuck to it and THAT worked. It was tough at first because they were used to a laid back, fun mom and rebelled. Things got worse before they got better. I stuck it out and in the end, ended up with more respectful, trusted and talkative kids. I'm just grateful I realized what I had done and was able to fix it before it was too late. We all make mistakes as parents and my kids still have off days, however, now, they aren't as often and we're able to talk it through and work it out together.

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