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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Lazy teen

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2014 at 4:01 PM
  • 6 Replies

Hello,

As noted in my intro post, I am a mom of three daughters, the youngest of whom is 15.

My problem is that my daughter, Scarlett, is lazy.  So lazy. I will give her a job to do (while I'm at work), and she'll do it, but first she complains, then she'll do it, but if I have her dust, for example, she take the swiffer thing, whip it around the tv, mantle, tables, etc. and be done in seconds. 

I know I should've started her MUCH earlier with this sort of thing.  Am I too late? 

Also, I carry a lot of guilt because we live in a very rural area and there is nothing for this kid to do outside. No neighbors, we don't live on a farm, so it's not like there's a barn or farm animals to care for...  In other words, she's not near friends.  

She's an introverted girl, but she is not depressed.  Winter  has been pretty tough, though, and being stuck in the house (when not in school), leaves her little to do.  


This really has me down.  I am afraid it's too late.

by on Feb. 20, 2014 at 4:01 PM
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Replies (1-6):
Niccalyn
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 5:02 PM
1 mom liked this

She sounds extremely...normal. :) 

My teens are basically the same.  They are super-spoiled, though, because their grandmother lives with us and pampers them.  They never have to cook or clean for themselves. I work full-time so we have a housekeeper once a week as well. Granny is overseas visiting relatives for 2 months at the moment, and it is the end of the world because if my girls want a specific garment washed during the week, they have to do the laundry themselves (I do laundry on weekends--they put their own away).  My 17-year-old was FOLDING last night and my DH almost had a heart attack, LOL.  They don't really complain too much, I think because they so rarely have to do anything for themselves.  It is like a running joke in our family.  But if they were required to have actual CHORES (gasp!), I know I would never hear the end of it.  As it is they draaagggg themselves to the dishwasher, moaning about how much 'effort' it is on the rare occasion I ask them to unload it (especially my 14YO--the 17YO isn't quite as bad).  I think it is a normal teen thing, and the severity depends on the individual personality. Chances are, when she has her own place, she will want it to look nice so she will clean it.  I think if she does what you ask, when you ask her to, you should leave well enough alone--if you start lecturing about the quality of the work you will set yourself up for a losing battle.

Try not to worry about her and maybe encourage her to get involved in some clubs or sports in school, so that she has places to go and people to see and doesn't get quite so bored. :)

imogene2
by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 9:41 AM

:)  Thanks!  I do  hope she sounds normal.  My oldest daughter not only helped w/ housework, she took over.  My middle one is a bit of a slob (a 'mild' slob) but both of these girls are very outgoing.  My young one is very introverted... that's what has me troubled, too. I wish I wish I wish I could find something that she's interested in.  She's extremely shy.  We live out in the middle of nowhere... If I had it to do again, I think I'd've raised my girls in a town/village.  

owlfeather919
by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 11:44 AM
Exactly what Niccalyn wrote. Do not worry my 15 yr old dd is the same way. I would not call her lazy as she works hard on her school work, but when it comes to chores, ok well for lack of a better word, she is lazy. Extremely normal as said below. Lol. I am actually reading a book now called "Perfect Mess , the hidden benefits Of disorder. How crammed closets, cluttered offices, and on the fly planning make the world a better place. ". Lol and my favorite quote ever " If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what then, is an empty desk?" ~ Albert Einstein ~

Quoting Niccalyn:

She sounds extremely...normal. :) 


My teens are basically the same.  They are super-spoiled, though, because their grandmother lives with us and pampers them.  They never have to cook or clean for themselves. I work full-time so we have a housekeeper once a week as well. Granny is overseas visiting relatives for 2 months at the moment, and it is the end of the world because if my girls want a specific garment washed during the week, they have to do the laundry themselves (I do laundry on weekends--they put their own away).  My 17-year-old was FOLDING last night and my DH almost had a heart attack, LOL.  They don't really complain too much, I think because they so rarely have to do anything for themselves.  It is like a running joke in our family.  But if they were required to have actual CHORES (gasp!), I know I would never hear the end of it.  As it is they draaagggg themselves to the dishwasher, moaning about how much 'effort' it is on the rare occasion I ask them to unload it (especially my 14YO--the 17YO isn't quite as bad).  I think it is a normal teen thing, and the severity depends on the individual personality. Chances are, when she has her own place, she will want it to look nice so she will clean it.  I think if she does what you ask, when you ask her to, you should leave well enough alone--if you start lecturing about the quality of the work you will set yourself up for a losing battle.


Try not to worry about her and maybe encourage her to get involved in some clubs or sports in school, so that she has places to go and people to see and doesn't get quite so bored. :)

Bertieb
by Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 2:09 PM

All my daughter does is lay in her bed and look at her phone and watch tv night after night. She's not depressed, she is totally happy with her sedentary, dirty environment.She doesn't mind me cleaning her room, she has nothing to hide! I decided this week after cleaning her room Monday that she was spending even more time in there now because it is clean.

wakymom
by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 4:32 PM

 Sounds normal to me. Ds1 is 14 and will whine a little about having to do 1 thing, but if we have him do multiple things, he gripes, "Why do I have to do everything?" Especially if he's doing more that his brother and sister- "Why do I have to do xxx when they don't have to?" Um, b/c you are older and should be expected to do more.

As long as she does what you ask, does a semi-decent job at it, and doesn't take too long to do it, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

 

 

 

JessicaR7
by Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 5:13 PM

 I don't think I've met a teen yet who is excited to clean.  I must say...it's never too late.  You can always make changes it just gets harder as they get older.

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