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Military schools

Posted by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 4:18 PM
  • 8 Replies
Just wondering if anyone has had any experience with sending their son to military school.

The reason I'm asking is because I have a 16 yr old son who I believe needs it. A little backstory: DS went to Catholic school for grades 1-8, and did ok academically. We always had to stay on top of him to complete homework, projects, etc. he didn't study much on his own so his father & I monitored his study time & even asked grandpa to help tutor. He never used a planner despite us begging & threatening him to use one. Then high school last year he didn't meet expectations & ended up with Bs & Cs. We hired a tutor - twice a week. Ask him about upcoming assignments, ask if he needs help studying, etc. Its done no good. Here we are sophomore year & he's got a 65 in chemistry & 69 in Spanish. IF he applies himself he is capable of Bs at least. He is just the laziest kid I've ever met. He is the typical sullen moody teenager most of the time - always complaining about his younger siblings (ages 12, 10, 7). We've grounded, taken away privileges, taken away electronics...nothing works. He just doesn't care! He can't even keep his bedroom clean & completely the same weekly chores we all do! And he's 16!

I can't let him fail. We need to prepare him to be the best person he can be in life. I love him so much & it is killing me to know that we will probably be sending him away this Fall. He is a great person, but lacks any motivation & passion for anything besides soccer.

Thanks for hearing me out. Your thoughts or comments are appreciated.
by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 4:18 PM
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Replies (1-8):
by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 6:02 PM

Could he be depressed?

by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 6:12 PM

Do we share a son????  My ds coasted through grammar school and now high school is kicking his butt.  I just can't stand missing assignments.  It drives me absolutely batty!!

by on Feb. 23, 2014 at 12:14 AM
by on Feb. 23, 2014 at 11:27 AM
I would first check into WHY he is so sullen? He might not just be lazy? If he's really unhappy he could be depressed common in teen years with hormones, stress ect. Not school stress but peer stress. So before sending him out I would check things out further.
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by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2014 at 2:54 PM
Most military academies are hard core college prep. Sending a struggling student to one will not solve you problem but most likely make it worse.

You need to figure out what the issue is that is making him not care. Is he stressed at school, or at home? Have you and DH been having issues? Are his siblings causing issues. I would try a therapist.

Then find out what his currency is. What are his dreams and likes. Try rewards instead of punishment.

We.had issues with DS1 not caring about school work and being depressed. It was because DH amd I were having problems and DS.felt like he had no control and his world was falling apart. He went to a therapist weekly amd did 6 mo of anti depressants and soon came around. He is down to no meds and bi-weekly therapy just to work on relaxation techniques. He is my sweet hard-working kid again.

by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2014 at 3:25 PM

If you haven't done counseling yet, then military school is the absolute WORST thing you can do. Schedule a meeting with the school counselor. Find out what's going on. Kids don't suddenly change for no reason.

by on Feb. 25, 2014 at 1:48 AM

My SIL sent their son to military school, he only lasted a week before they kicked him out. He knew exactly what to do; spit on a teacher, cursed them out and would not follow the rules. You can take-away his soccer, why should he have the privilege of playing soccer if he is not doing what he needs to do? You let him know what is expected of him before he can play again and make your concern known to his school. 

by on Feb. 25, 2014 at 2:47 AM

If soccer is his passion take it away....if he can't make decent grades (Bs & Cs are decent grades) then he shouldn't be allowed ta play. If he plays for the school and is failing then why are they allowing him to play. I don't think Military school is right for your son. I think that'll do more damage then good.

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