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Co Workers 18yr old Daughter working in a strip club

Posted by on Feb. 22, 2014 at 8:30 PM
  • 11 Replies

A co worker of mine had informed us that her daughter (18) left home recently and moved in with a 19yr old friend. Her daughter is a Junior in high school as she had fallen behind.  Both girls are working as dancers at a local popular strip club. Of course she is upset and ashamed but can do nothing. Has anyone ever ran into a situation such as this? We were all speachless and really could not think of a thing to say.

by on Feb. 22, 2014 at 8:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
cybcm
by Bronze Member on Feb. 22, 2014 at 9:38 PM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't know what to say to her either, I guess just offer your ear when she needs it.

nuts4scouts
by Member on Feb. 24, 2014 at 11:36 AM

At 18 there is not a whole lot you can say, or do.

The best you can say is that at least she is still in school., Perhaps her school counselors might be able to help.

JessicaR7
by Member on Feb. 24, 2014 at 12:00 PM

 That's a tough one because she really has no way to prevent her from being a stripper.  I'm sure the money seems glamorous to the young ladies right now but that is a hard life to lead. I would just keep talking to my daughter and let her know that while the money is great what part of herself is she giving up for that kind of money.  And how will she know when it is taking a toll on her mental and emotional health.  A lot of those young ladies have to get high or drunk before they can even dance on stage and then they begin performing extra services to make even more money.  It's just such a self-destructive path to go down.  At some point, the looks will fade and the body will age, I'd ask her daughter what she plans on doing with her future when that happens.

atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 24, 2014 at 12:05 PM
I would be seriously disappointed at any age if my girls wanted to strip.
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8chickens
by Member on Feb. 24, 2014 at 6:35 PM

The school can not get involved as she is an adult and her job can not even be brought up as a subject her mom said. The club offers a sign on bonus to 18yr old young women of $1500. They have managed to find the ones who want to leave home ASAP when they turn 18 and this gives them the cash to do so, plus they fall into a party lifestyle and receive gifts etc from men.


theresaphilly
by on Feb. 25, 2014 at 1:43 AM
1 mom liked this

I did the same thing when I was 18. After I graduated, I moved out and took a job as a stripper to put myself through school. Personally your friend has no say in the matter, but tell her daughter to be careful, I know many strippers who went from working the pole to total porn stars. Also she needs to stay away from private parties, those guys get drunk and shit happens (rape or another form of abuse). 

PosinourHarmony
by on Feb. 25, 2014 at 2:50 AM

There's nothing your friend can do really. Honestly as long as she doesn't get sucked in....she'll be fine. If she's neive then she's gonna get sucked in and it's gonna break her. If she's not and knows the game she'll be fine....all you can do is talk ta her. Just cause she's stripping doesn't mean she's doomed for life and she's gonna head straight ta hell....or gonna get hooked on drugs and blah blah blah....it could happen....hopefully it doesn't....

butzi
by Member on Feb. 25, 2014 at 1:32 PM
2 moms liked this
Since your issue seems to be what to say...something like the following? "I am sorry for you. My kids have sometimes done things that I don't agree with, too. It's hard to come to terms with. I think it has helped me to remember that mostly grown children are not ours to control any more. We don't get as much of a say in their decision making. It is super disappointing when they go against the values they grew up with, but all we can do is to let the know that we love them. Even if we don't love their choices."
JessicaR7
by Member on Feb. 25, 2014 at 1:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Well said...

Quoting butzi: Since your issue seems to be what to say...something like the following? "I am sorry for you. My kids have sometimes done things that I don't agree with, too. It's hard to come to terms with. I think it has helped me to remember that mostly grown children are not ours to control any more. We don't get as much of a say in their decision making. It is super disappointing when they go against the values they grew up with, but all we can do is to let the know that we love them. Even if we don't love their choices."

 

butzi
by Member on Feb. 25, 2014 at 1:46 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you :)

Quoting JessicaR7:

Well said...


Quoting butzi: Since your issue seems to be what to say...something like the following? "I am sorry for you. My kids have sometimes done things that I don't agree with, too. It's hard to come to terms with. I think it has helped me to remember that mostly grown children are not ours to control any more. We don't get as much of a say in their decision making. It is super disappointing when they go against the values they grew up with, but all we can do is to let the know that we love them. Even if we don't love their choices."

 

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