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So my daughter was just "unasked" to prom

Posted by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 4:54 PM
  • 10 Replies

A month ago, a kid she knew slightly started texting her. They texted every night for a week or two, talking about all kinds of stuff.  When another boy asked her to prom, she informed the first kid that she had gotten asked but didn't really want to go with the boy who asked her. The kid who she'd been texting with immediately asked her if he could take her to prom.  She asked him if he was serious, because she would turn down the first boy if he was. He said he was totally serious. Then he sent her a Valentine's Day flower.

Cut to a weeklong winter break, during which the kid who asked her to prom and sent her the flower just, like, dropped off the face of the earth. Stopped texting her almost completely. When they got back to school, she said it was awkward, like he wasn't paying attention to her. Today he texted her that he couldn't do prom for economic reasons (which I don't buy), and he was sorry.

I think this kid is a little bit of a ladies man and a "player," and was surprised he had asked my daughter in the first place as she runs in a completely different crowd. While she's a little relieved that this is all over, she's upset to have gone through it. I'm upset for her as well. She did nothing wrong, and this kid was the one who started texting and flirting with her first. Anyone else go through this?

by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 4:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 27, 2014 at 5:26 PM

Have her go with a group.  My dd enjoyed prom better with no date than with a boyfriend the other year. 

My brother,s best friends sister got stood up for prom.  I think her father would have killed him.  Who would do such a thing?  This was about 40 years ago before anyone would go to prom without a date so she didn't go at all. 

Niccalyn
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2014 at 5:34 PM
1 mom liked this

This has happened to my oldest daughter a few times.  She is quite attractive but not part of the 'uber-popular' crowd.  Not because she isn't well-liked, but because she prefers the company of more genuine, down-to-earth kids who are her true friends.  Popular 'player' types are drawn to her, I think because of how she looks, but eventually they realize she isn't part of the 'herd' and doesn't necessarily fit the expectations of their peers.  We are also Jewish in a predominantly Christian suburb and that plays a part as well.  She has had a few boys that have gone back and forth for a while, as if they just couldn't quite figure out what they wanted...she even dated one for 6 months who eventually broke up with her due to pressure from family and friends.  She has finally gotten to the point now where she doesn't let herself feel badly about it...she just moves on.  I am proud of the fact that she doesn't try and be someone she's not to win over a boy!

michelepr
by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 5:54 PM

Thanks for the responses. Yes, she will go with friends and I think she will have a better time.  Much of what you wrote resonates with me, too, especially the part about being Jewish in a Christian town. I guess this is just a life lesson about guys, but it's hard as a mother to watch it.

atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 27, 2014 at 6:05 PM

Really sad because we are Christian and I would have zero issue if my dd's dated someone Jewish.  One of my good friends was raised Catholic and her dh is Jewish.  After debate because both were open to raising their kids either way the kids were raised Jewish.  They do celebrate Christmas and they know about both religions which I think is awesome too. 

Quoting michelepr:

Thanks for the responses. Yes, she will go with friends and I think she will have a better time.  Much of what you wrote resonates with me, too, especially the part about being Jewish in a Christian town. I guess this is just a life lesson about guys, but it's hard as a mother to watch it.


Sapient.Quaff
by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 7:00 PM

Oh yeah, tell her going as a group is better. They say that 80% of "couple" break up at prom and instead of it being fun, most are miserable.

atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 27, 2014 at 9:35 PM
Dh was a senior, girlfriend a freshman. At prom she said she wanted to break up with him. They did break up a month later and we started dating, lol.

Quoting Sapient.Quaff:

Oh yeah, tell her going as a group is better. They say that 80% of "couple" break up at prom and instead of it being fun, most are miserable.

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DAHLONEGAMOMMY
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2014 at 9:49 PM

Im sorry that happened. My son's gf of two years just dumped him a couple of weeks before his jrotc ball and a month and a half before prom. He was worried he wouldnt have a date for the ball as its a very big and formal event and a girl would have to get a dress for the event. He was really hurt and bummed but four days later another girl let a mutual friend know how much she liked my sonand would love to go to the ball with him.

So, maybe she will get another date and loverboy can play someone else.Then again those dances are expensive and maybe money really was a factor. who knows. Sorry it happened. Its hard to watch your child get hurt like that and know you cant fix it for them.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Feb. 27, 2014 at 11:24 PM
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I'm sorry that happened to your DD.    The fact that she is handling it so well speaks volumes for her self confidence!!  




angeltink7
by Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 2:02 AM

 Just be there for your daughter to talk to and it will pass quickly. 

My son had a good female friend who was asked to homecoming by a boy and was excited he asked her.  He told her he would meet her there and he did with his girlfriend.  How sad would that be?

 

my2kidsmom9498
by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 8:33 PM

That is just so wrong.  She is bette off without him, but I am sorry.

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