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Friendless, Depressed Teenage

Posted by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 6:22 PM
  • 14 Replies

My daughter just turned 18....This is her Senior year, which should be the best year of school.  She is a tri-sport athlete and has a part time job.  But she has NO friends and there is constant drama surrounding her. She is tough to get along with as she can go from hot to cold in a matter of seconds.  I blame my husband and myself for her "bitchy" side because she is the oldest, and we put a lot of responsibility on her.  She watched her little sisters and by doing so, got a "mother hen" attitude, as if she was the boss and things had to be her way.  She has been diagnosed with depression, but never takes her medication....which, when she does, helps.  We have had numerous talks about her meds, but they don't work.  Maybe I need to stand over her every morning to make her take her medications.  It KILLS me to watch her sit at home while her younger sisters are out with friends having a good time.  This has always been the case with Bri - not having friends, kids being mean to her at school.  The other day I went to her room and she was crying because she wants what her sisters have.....friends to go do things with, guy friends that treat her like a sister, a laid back attitude.  I am frustrated, my heart hurts because you can tell she is sad.  I am scared and have absolutely no clue what to do, where to go, or who to turn I came here.  If for anything, just to vent.  There is a part of me that is very scared for Bri, but there is a part of me that knows that college will bring about a whole new spectrum for her life.   It's getting harder to hold my chin up for her.  If anything, please pray for her strength to find some sort of happiness.

by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 6:22 PM
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by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 6:28 PM
I'm sorry momma. As a mom the hardest thing is to not be able to stop our kids feom hurting. Has/does she see a counselor? If her meds help maybe you should make sure she takes them in the morning. Are you sure there isn't more to it then just depression? How are her grades in school? I have a similar situation with my ADHD 13 year old. However he is the older one. Good luck momma. The school year is almost over hoping college for her will be an amazing experience and she'll finally find friends.
by on Mar. 4, 2014 at 12:11 AM

If she wanted it bad enough then she would take her meds...I mean that makes no sense...

Good luck mama!

by Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 7:39 AM

Yes, I think you should make sure she takes her meds everyday.  I have a feeling that once she starts to feel better and she knows they are helping her she will become more responsible about taking them by herself.  

by on Mar. 4, 2014 at 8:35 AM

I understand the not taking meds thing. My dd13 avoids her ADD patch whenever possible and we all feel it. I don't understand her not wanting to take it because she is absolutely miserable when she doesn't. Now she has to come adn get the patch from me every day and put it on in front of me so I know she has it.

Have you tried counseling? Do you go to church? Maybe they have a youth group that could reach out to her. I know dh and I spend time reaching out to the "loners" to try and get them connected to the group.


by Susie on Mar. 4, 2014 at 8:53 AM

Your dd needs to change or she will never have friends.  People don't like drama or someone that is hard to be friends with.  Sad but true.  She needs to take her meds and work on herself. 

by on Mar. 4, 2014 at 10:24 AM

Thanks, all!  I am definitely going to be standing over her in the AM watching her take her meds.  She and I had a long talk yesterday about her attitude towards others and about her meds and how we are going to work on her taking them.  I know that she needs to change.  We live in a smaller, unforgiving town and I don't see the general population in her class giving her another chance, but I can always be proven wrong, and would LOVE to be.  I am OK with her having friends outside our school district.  She also goes out to the local Communtiy College for some general college courses, and she is able to make a few friends out there.  Her grades are OK - never have been great.  She learns slower than other kids and has been in Special Education since her Freshman year.  We don't attend church regularly, but God is a huge part of our life.  Thank you all for your input and advice.  I appreciate you taking the time to read my post. 

by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 10:54 AM

I'm sorry sweets.  I went through that with my son.  He had a couple of friends, but they totally sucked.  He was never invited to anything.  Granted some of it was his fault as he closed himself off, but it's heart breaking none the less.  We got him in counseling.  That helped.  It also helped that son and I have a very close relationship and me and hub (and our friends) tried to pick up the slack, so to speak.  He graduated and when he started college things got better!  Hang in there mama, I know how heart breaking it is.

by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 11:23 AM

Definitely try counseling!  My oldest is a Junior, 17, and has gone through a rough time in the last year.  Her counselor is a lifesaver!  She has helped her sooooo much.  Just speak to your family doctor or pediatrician and try to get a recommendation.  That's what we did and I couldn't be happier. It's really funny because my daughter tells me that her counselor offers a lot of the same suggestions and advice I give, but somehow it is more meaningful coming from an objective 3rd party. Check your health insurance, they will probably cover a certain number of visits.  If cost is a factor, try a non-profit like Jewish Family Services, as they offer counseling on a sliding scale.  She needs someone from outside of the family to help her modify her behavior.  I hate to tell you but if she goes to college and has the same bitchy attitude towards her peers, she's not going to be winning a lot of friends.  And, if her HS peers see a dramatic change in her behavior this year, they may surprise you and actually start hanging around her, out of curiosity if nothing else (Wow!  What happened?  Why's she so different now?  etc.).  She doesn't necessarily need a psychiatrist--my DD's counselor is an LPC (Liscensed Professional Counselor), with a master's in Social Work.  Worth a shot!!  Good luck mom. :-)

by on Mar. 5, 2014 at 10:22 AM
Praying for your family:)
by Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 10:48 PM

I feel for you-I really do...I have a 18 year old daughter, senior in HS with ADHD and all the symptoms you decribed about your child. She has friends but only one real friend and a boyfriend with similar issues. She is very hard on people with her demands, moodiness and lack of social cues and it always becomes an issue. She wants to move out and live at a friends house after graduating while she attends local community college. I worry every day and pray she will end up safe and with the abiltiy to take care of herself-I am seriously concerned. She takes meds and goes to theraphy and that does help. WIll prayer for you and your daughter.

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