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Helicopter mom HELP

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2014 at 5:31 PM
  • 10 Replies
I know I obsess over my 16 dd and worry too much about her choices. Any else out there that found a way to cope with letting go easily ?
by on Mar. 8, 2014 at 5:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sahlady
by Gold Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 6:05 PM
2 moms liked this

it isnt about how you feel.... it is about how you act


atlmom2
by Susie on Mar. 8, 2014 at 7:13 PM
Exactly. OP, you have to stop hovering. Even if you have anxiety and worry don't show it.

Quoting sahlady:

it isnt about how you feel.... it is about how you act

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mollymolly
by Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 8:10 PM

I pray about these things in my life and ask God to help me to let go as I need to.  Also, sometimes, if something is really, really bothering me, I have to look at myself to see if some of my own insecurities or issues are being activated.  I have to remind myself that this is her life; not mine, and that she is a totally different person than me.  In fact, she's a totally different type of girl than I was (girly-girl vs. tomboy).  So naturally, her choices, that are best for her, will be different than mine would be.  

andersongirl562
by on Mar. 8, 2014 at 8:12 PM
1 mom liked this
I also have a 16 year old DD. I know I have done my best to teach her what is right. At this age she has to make her own choices right or wrong. I am proud of how nature and responsible she is.
bizzeemom2717
by on Mar. 8, 2014 at 8:31 PM
1 mom liked this
Sounds like you know all of this in your head mama just got to remember and practice it.

Quoting mollymolly:

I pray about these things in my life and ask God to help me to let go as I need to.  Also, sometimes, if something is really, really bothering me, I have to look at myself to see if some of my own insecurities or issues are being activated.  I have to remind myself that this is her life; not mine, and that she is a totally different person than me.  In fact, she's a totally different type of girl than I was (girly-girl vs. tomboy).  So naturally, her choices, that are best for her, will be different than mine would be.  

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
babyof5
by Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 9:41 PM
Wow so glad I posted twice today ! Very helpful. Thanks everyone :)
suesues
by Silver Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 8:38 AM

its normal my dau 19 and still worrry but bite my tough let it go 

my2kidsmom9498
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 11:22 AM
1 mom liked this

Stop and think how you would feel in her shoes.  I have ds turning 16 next week and a dd turning 20 soon.  I worry about her at school, her traveling with her sports, but it is good for her, she needs to go. 

Ewa101
by Bronze Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 7:17 AM
2 moms liked this

 

Quoting andersongirl562: I also have a 16 year old DD. I know I have done my best to teach her what is right. At this age she has to make her own choices right or wrong. I am proud of how nature and responsible she is.

 At this age, we have to hope that we did a good job raising our children.  Now, it's time to slowly start trusting their choices. 

navyjen
by Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 10:16 AM
1 mom liked this

You have to trust in yourself.  That you have raised her to make wise choices.  Talk with her often and listen to her.   Its hard.  I give my son examples of things when we are talking and ask him what he would do if faced with a certain situation.  I think having talks helps with your worry levels.   And kids will make mistakes and if you never let them make mistakes then how are they going to become productive members of society?

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