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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

mom of 5 .. 2 of my own and 3 of his I need help please

Posted by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 11:32 PM
  • 5 Replies
I cant handle all the disrespect his kids treat me like crap but its not just me they treat everyone this way.. we all live togeather full time and my husband will do nothin to stop it .... I love him more than I could ever say but the disrespectful attitudes of his kids is killin me any ideas
by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 11:32 PM
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Replies (1-5):
nana776
by Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 12:50 AM
1 mom liked this

I would have a heart to heart with dh. I don't know how you feel about this, but I would feel that he is being just as disrepectful by not doing anything about it. I would bring up some couples/family counseling. You need to be on the same page about this or it is going to take a big toll on your marriage.

Where do you think the disrespect is coming from? Is BM in the picture, maybe she is saying things that are feeding this behavior?  I would try to figure out why they feel this way and try to talk to them about it. Kind of a "You don't have to love me, but you do have to treat me with respect" talk.

Good luck, hon. I know blended families aren't always easy, but I've heard they are worth it.

mommyofthezoo03
by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 9:34 AM
2 moms liked this

I seriously recommend the book "have a new teenager by Friday". There is also one for a kid and a spouse. I am finding it very useful. The one piece of advice it gave that I find the best is the wait for later approach. Say you ask the teen to empty the dishwasher. They refuse and talk rudely. Later (be it that day or another) when they come and ask for a ride, something special for dessert, a friend to come over, to wash a special shirt you calmly replay wiht something like "I really didn't like the way you treated me when I asked you to empty the dishwasher so I really don't feel like doing (whatever) for you now." and simply walk away. No yelling, no lecturing, no further conversation. Might take a few times but they will start to get it. Mine did.

                                   

tinabug75
by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 8:04 PM
Love the idea goin to try it :)
gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 12:47 AM
2 moms liked this

If your husband will do nothing to stop it, then I read bad things ahead in your future. He needs to be part of the solution of the battle is already lost, and the marriage is on the way to the graveyard. Your husband needs to be the first to put the kids in line when they disrespect you, and you must do the same for him. If the two of you are not presenting a united front, it's very bad news.

JC2223
by Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 11:12 AM

He needs to see how he is doing his children a grave disservice by allowing them to behave this way. I'd highly suggest counseling, you and he and then the kids. Blended families come with their own set of challenges and there are no instruction manuals to follow. Find a counselor with training and experience with step-families. Here's a link to the National Step Family Resource Center.

www.stepfamilies.info

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