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Mixed sleepovers

Posted by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 3:43 PM
  • 34 Replies

Next weekend DS and his friends have plans. (all 13-14yrs)

DS has asked if the friends could stay over - fine by me. They are sleep in the basement (which is where they hang out anyway - all very That 70s show-like) 

Except SO doesnt think they should all be in the same room - 4 friends (5 in total) 3 boys (DS included) and 2 girls. I think it is fine, they are a close knitted group, they all assumed they would be and it isnt like there is just one person sleeping over. 

I think he is being silly

?

by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 3:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
fammatthews4
by Trisha on Mar. 10, 2014 at 4:00 PM
2 moms liked this

I agree with your SO this is something we would not allow.  My main issue is that it's taking place in your basement with no direct adult supervision.

nana776
by Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 4:04 PM

Sorry, I'm with SO on this one. The boys and girls need to be seperated. This is a time when they are learning what is socially acceptable and what isn't. This is a chance to teach them something about that. Plus kids this age are very judgmental and gossipy. The girls could end up with a bad reputation if word got out. It would go from an innocent sleep over to an orgy in no time.

 Also, I would not want to be held liable if something were to go wrong.

Are all the parents aware and ok with this arrangement? I wouldn't be.                                                                                                        

Quoting StreetsAhead:

Next weekend DS and his friends have plans. (all 13-14yrs)

DS has asked if the friends could stay over - fine by me. They are sleep in the basement (which is where they hang out anyway - all very That 70s show-like) 

Except SO doesnt think they should all be in the same room - 4 friends (5 in total) 3 boys (DS included) and 2 girls. I think it is fine, they are a close knitted group, they all assumed they would be and it isnt like there is just one person sleeping over. 

I think he is being silly

?


outtamymynd
by Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 4:05 PM
Mixed sleepovers aren't a good idea at that age. I agree with SO
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jujubear1
by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 4:07 PM
Nope. Wouldn't happen at my house & wouldn't allow my kids to go to one elsewhere.
StreetsAhead
by Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 4:11 PM

It is where they hang out usually anyway, I'm not going to supervise him hanging out with friends (obviously we check on them)

Quoting fammatthews4:

I agree with your SO this is something we would not allow.  My main issue is that it's taking place in your basement with no direct adult supervision.


StreetsAhead
by Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 4:16 PM

It has happened before (at other peoples houses - we never had a house big enough before - they arent big sleepover people, it has only ever been if they are doing something that night/next morning. So I presume the parents know, as it was out their houses

Can I ask (and I'm actually interested) - is there an age where it becomes okay? I remember going to parties at 15-18 and falling asleep with everyone in the room

Quoting nana776:

Sorry, I'm with SO on this one. The boys and girls need to be seperated. This is a time when they are learning what is socially acceptable and what isn't. This is a chance to teach them something about that. Plus kids this age are very judgmental and gossipy. The girls could end up with a bad reputation if word got out. It would go from an innocent sleep over to an orgy in no time.

 Also, I would not want to be held liable if something were to go wrong.

Are all the parents aware and ok with this arrangement? I wouldn't be.                                                                                                        


fammatthews4
by Trisha on Mar. 10, 2014 at 4:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm talking mostly about during the sleepover.  I assume you and your SO plan on sleeping sometime, that leaves the kids with no adult supervision at all for several hours unless you plan on taking turns sleeping and going down to check on the kids all night.  I'm not saying to sit down there while they are hangining out.

Quoting StreetsAhead:

It is where they hang out usually anyway, I'm not going to supervise him hanging out with friends (obviously we check on them)

Quoting fammatthews4:

I agree with your SO this is something we would not allow.  My main issue is that it's taking place in your basement with no direct adult supervision.



StreetsAhead
by Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 4:25 PM

But wouldnt the same happen if they were sleeping in rooms or the living room?

Quoting fammatthews4:

I'm talking mostly about during the sleepover.  I assume you and your SO plan on sleeping sometime, that leaves the kids with no adult supervision at all for several hours unless you plan on taking turns sleeping and going down to check on the kids all night.  I'm not saying to sit down there while they are hangining out.

Quoting StreetsAhead:

It is where they hang out usually anyway, I'm not going to supervise him hanging out with friends (obviously we check on them)

Quoting fammatthews4:

I agree with your SO this is something we would not allow.  My main issue is that it's taking place in your basement with no direct adult supervision.



nana776
by Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 5:16 PM

I don't think I would do it until they are at least 18, just because of the possible ramifications.

I just see it as this, everything is hunky dorey now, but let one of those girls come up pregnant or say one of the boys did something inappropriate and all hell is going to break loose. And who are they going to blame the parents who allowed the sleep overs. I'm not saying that there is anything morally wrong with it, I think it could be a potential bad situation that I would avoid.

Quoting StreetsAhead:

It has happened before (at other peoples houses - we never had a house big enough before - they arent big sleepover people, it has only ever been if they are doing something that night/next morning. So I presume the parents know, as it was out their houses

Can I ask (and I'm actually interested) - is there an age where it becomes okay? I remember going to parties at 15-18 and falling asleep with everyone in the room

Quoting nana776:

Sorry, I'm with SO on this one. The boys and girls need to be seperated. This is a time when they are learning what is socially acceptable and what isn't. This is a chance to teach them something about that. Plus kids this age are very judgmental and gossipy. The girls could end up with a bad reputation if word got out. It would go from an innocent sleep over to an orgy in no time.

 Also, I would not want to be held liable if something were to go wrong.

Are all the parents aware and ok with this arrangement? I wouldn't be.                                                                                                        


cybcm
by Bronze Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 5:19 PM
We allow it because my children really aren't the "lets all have sex in front of our friends" kind of people.

But then I also know that my kids have platonic friends of the opposite sex, or same sex in the case of one.
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