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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Young teen love

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2014 at 6:08 PM
  • 8 Replies
I was looking through my daughters messages and and read one from a boy who is her good friend (a very nice kid, I know him pretty well) confessing his love for her. Something to the effect of I love you and always will through thick and thin you are my inspiration etc. I know they like each other and hold hands sometimes and like to hang out together (with supervision!). I'm just a bit concerned with him saying this. Her messages are open game for me to read, that was our understanding with her having a phone at her age. I'm just kind of weirded out by it and how strong his feelings are. She says, Mom! We like eachother but I know I'm too young to be in love and she was a little uncomfortable with what he said. Thoughts, advice?
by on Mar. 18, 2014 at 6:08 PM
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Replies (1-8):
disneyqueen
by Member on Mar. 18, 2014 at 7:54 PM

How old is your daughter?  I'm assuming she's 13 or 14?


Brit914
by New Member on Mar. 18, 2014 at 8:06 PM
13
atlmom2
by Susie on Mar. 18, 2014 at 9:52 PM
Too young for a boyfriend.
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GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Mar. 18, 2014 at 9:56 PM

I would talk to her about telling him that she's not ready for love. She can't lead him on. She can tell him that she likes him; but that she's not allowed to date/have a boyfriend (whatever your rules are) just yet. But she can't allow him to say those things and her to say nothing back or he's going to think that's her accepting her own feelings.

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Mar. 19, 2014 at 2:13 AM
Too young for a boyfriend. Talk to her and see where she is at with this
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Niccalyn
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 12:51 PM

In my experience, it isn't unusual for boys to say these types of things at this age.  My oldest DD, now 17, had 'boyfriends' from the age of 12 and they were always incredibly romantic.  But it never lasted more than a couple of months.  She was able to stay friends with all of them so it all worked out.  As long as your DD knows how she feels and is mature enough to keep their relationship age-appropriate, I wouldn't worry too much...let her enjoy this while it lasts, a lot of the incredibly romantic young teens turn into jerks by the time they are 16, LOL!  Just make sure they are always chaperoned, only go out in groups, etc.

Brit914
by New Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 2:59 PM
That makes me feel better, she's my oldest so I feel like I don't know what I'm doing sometimes... I don't really know what goes on in boys this age's minds... I appreciate everyone's advice but when people say "to young for boyfriends" its a little frustrating. I agree that kids this age shouldn't be dating in the traditional sense but I think it's naive think they won't "go out" with boys at school. I talk openly with my girls and I think 80+ percent of the kids at school have "gone out" with someone. (Between 9-13 years old). But I am very clear about rules and what is appropriate behavior and what is not appropriate for there age. I guess I would just rather know what's going on instead instead of them to hiding it from me.

Quoting Niccalyn:

In my experience, it isn't unusual for boys to say these types of things at this age.  My oldest DD, now 17, had 'boyfriends' from the age of 12 and they were always incredibly romantic.  But it never lasted more than a couple of months.  She was able to stay friends with all of them so it all worked out.  As long as your DD knows how she feels and is mature enough to keep their relationship age-appropriate, I wouldn't worry too much...let her enjoy this while it lasts, a lot of the incredibly romantic young teens turn into jerks by the time they are 16, LOL!  Just make sure they are always chaperoned, only go out in groups, etc.

chattycassie
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 3:55 PM

 My DD is 15 now and has had the "love bug" bite her too, she is pretty good about not jumping into things her first real BF was over a year. She has told her current BF she loves him but she says she does. :) It been about 6 months for them so we will see how it turns out.

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