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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

I thought it was just a threat

Posted by on Mar. 19, 2014 at 10:33 PM
  • 21 Replies
When my oldest daughter would get upset with me she ALWAYS said, "I can't wait until I am 18! I am out of here and will never talk to you again!" Then when she would calm down she would apologize and say, "I am sorry Mom. I love you. I will always talk to you. I just said it because I was mad." Well she turned 18 October 2nd. She moved to Idaho with her dad's ex girlfriend. She has not spoken to me once since. I Fb her message and my app says she looked at it. She does not respond though. I can admit I was not a perfect person. I was 16 when I had her and was thrown out onto the street with a baby for keeping her. I did not talk to my own mom until last mothers day. Now my own mom and I have restored our relationship 18 years later. Am I going to have to wait 18 years? Btw I didn't throw my daughter out. I am trying to reach out to her. I have even apologized for all the struggles we went through. I asked her to write me a letter of every bit of anger she is holding to me so she can work through. She had blocked me off Fb for awhile when I asked her to write that. I even bought her a sand art kit and asked where to send it and told her sister that I could send it to her grandma and her grandma can send it to her she doesn't want me to have her address. Any advise? (already been praying)
by on Mar. 19, 2014 at 10:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
arkmomma06
by Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 12:08 AM
1 mom liked this
That's a toughie.

Raising teenagers are so hard. Wish they came with a instruction manual.

Hugs
atlmom2
by Susie on Mar. 20, 2014 at 12:43 AM
2 moms liked this
I would not try to contact her for a while. Let her cool off.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
AnAngelsKiss
by on Mar. 20, 2014 at 3:11 AM
How long is a while?

Quoting atlmom2: I would not try to contact her for a while. Let her cool off.
diaperstodating
by Angel on Mar. 20, 2014 at 3:13 AM
Hugs
Carmen66
by Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 7:20 AM

Give her time, teenagers are so dam unpredicatable. She is acting out on something, let her be she will need you in the future trust me. I hope she comes to her senses and realizes that she has hurt you by leaving and ignoring you. Good luck!

atlmom2
by Susie on Mar. 20, 2014 at 8:25 AM
A month or more at least. Trying to contact her right now isn't working.

Quoting AnAngelsKiss: How long is a while?

Quoting atlmom2: I would not try to contact her for a while. Let her cool off.
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JessicaR7
by Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 4:52 PM
2 moms liked this

First, I'd have dad contact the ex-girlfriend just so you can see how she is doing.  I think that is what you are really asking right now 'are you safe?'.  Other than that, all you can do is check in with her once and a while until she is ready to talk.  I agree; teenagers would be much easier to raise if we had a manual unique to their personality. I'm sorry you are going through this.  You certainly didn't invest 18 years into this relationship only to be alienated from your child.  I'll be praying for you.

Ewa101
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2014 at 7:23 AM
1 mom liked this

My heart goes out to you.  None of us is perfect, and what your daughter did, I think, without knowing the details of your relationship, is rather immature.  I think realizing that parents do make mistakes, forgiving us for the mistakes, and loving us despite, or maybe because of them, is a sign of maturity.  I've been reading through everyone's responses, and i would add to that maybe therapy.  It does not have to be expensive, some churches have programs, or it may be covered by your insurance.  I read that even if there is a problem between two people, just one going through therapy might change the dynamic of the relationship.  I wish you best of luck.  As you can see in your relationship with your mom, it gets better as we age, and I do hope it does not take 18 years to improve the relationship with your daughter.  Hugs.

Belovedmoonpixi
by Member on Mar. 24, 2014 at 1:17 AM

you´ve reached out, not it´s up to her.. I´ll leave it alone until her birthday or some other important date. ((hugs))

ejwhite_99
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 11:16 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry to hear you're going through with your daughter.  As tough as it may be for you to do this, I would reach out to her once more to let her know that you will not bother her anymore.  You've already apologized for anything you think you did wrong so no need to do that again.  Let her know you love her regardless and will respect her wishes to be left alone by you.  Then let her know whenever she's ready to talk, so are you.  She knows how to reach you.  Then I would leave it at that.  I'm sure it will be tough but you said you've been praying so trust that God has your daughter (and you) and He will move on her heart.  God bless.

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