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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

I'm taking their bedroom doors off the hinges ***UPDATE***

Posted by on Mar. 25, 2014 at 9:03 AM
  • 39 Replies
2 moms liked this

I just talked to my upstairs neighbor. Evidently while I was at work last night, the kids got into an argument and started slamming doors. It woke up his kids. He came down to ask them to quiet down, which they did, but my dd got belligerent with him, told him to mind his own business. I could definitely see her doing that, especially if she was upset. This guy is very nice and has no reason to lie. He has a 8-9 month old and a 5 year old who has sn.

I went and checked their doors and both of them have scuffs and scrapes on them. So I am going to remove their doors and put up blankets for one month. We have had other issues with door slamming when I am here.

Do you think I am being too harsh?

***Update***

So they came home from school to find the doors down and blankets hung in their place. They were very upset. First, my dd tried to tell me that the guy upstairs was lying, (which I had talked to two other neighbors and they confirmed everything) then she tried to tell me that what I was doing was illegal. I was just ignoring her at that point. They went into their rooms and somehow "accidently" ripped down the blankets. I had them up there pretty securely, several nails in each. So I decided I am not putting new ones up there.

They later came out and apologized and I told them they would have opportunities to earn the blankets, then the doors back. Right now they are in their rooms writing me a report about how their behavior effects other people.

by on Mar. 25, 2014 at 9:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
woodswalker
by Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 9:18 AM
5 moms liked this

No, you are not being too harsh!   You rock.   I would also make my daughter write a letter of apology to the neighbor too.

lovemercygrace
by New Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 9:19 AM

I wouldn't even put up blankets. If they need to get dressed/changed they can do it in the bathroom. No, you are not being to harsh and I agree have the kids write him a letter of apology.

lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 9:19 AM
2 moms liked this

No and skip putting up blankets. Your teens need to learn to control themselves. Also send Miss smartmouth upstairs to apologize. I would be super pissed at her speaking they way she did.

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

wissotamum
by on Mar. 25, 2014 at 9:25 AM

That sounds reasonable.  They'll still have blankets for a bit of privacy, there is time limit for the punishment, and its a proportional response. 


wakymom
by Silver Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 9:33 AM

 Since you have had issues w/ them slamming doors in the past, I think taking them off now is fine.

My parents threatened to do the same to me if I didn't quit slamming my bedroom door- this was after my dad had to fix the door jamb b/c of my excessive slamming. That threat worked quite well- I quit slamming it and instead, would push it gently until it was just about closed, then give one hard shove to shut it. Door jamb stayed intact and I got to keep my door.

 

 

 

 

 

wissotamum
by on Mar. 25, 2014 at 9:34 AM

In response to some others,  I wouldn't have them write an apology letter.  I would not want the teenager focusing her anger on the neighbor (because that's really when happens when someone has to write an apology letter against their will).  

In the letter writing,

Your intention:  My children will learn empathy and recognize the effect their slamming had on the neighbor and their babies.  They'll strive to be more considerate in the future.

The kids' perception:  Douchebag neighbor ratted us out for closing a couple of doors.  Now I have to write a stupid letter because I woke up their stupid kids. 

Better to keep the focus on you and your house rules.


nana776
by Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 9:45 AM

Yeah, I have never been a fan of a forced apology. I am going to make them write out a paper detailing how their actions affected others, including themselves and me. I have found this to be much more effective and the apology usually comes without any prompting from me. 

Quoting wissotamum:

In response to some others,  I wouldn't have them write an apology letter.  I would not want the teenager focusing her anger on the neighbor (because that's really when happens when someone has to write an apology letter against their will).  

In the letter writing,

Your intention:  My children will learn empathy and recognize the effect their slamming had on the neighbor and their babies.  They'll strive to be more considerate in the future.

The kids' perception:  Douchebag neighbor ratted us out for closing a couple of doors.  Now I have to write a stupid letter because I woke up their stupid kids. 

Better to keep the focus on you and your house rules.


nana776
by Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 9:47 AM

You are soooo lucky I'm not your mom, I would have still taken the door off. I am just mean that way.

Quoting wakymom:

 Since you have had issues w/ them slamming doors in the past, I think taking them off now is fine.

My parents threatened to do the same to me if I didn't quit slamming my bedroom door- this was after my dad had to fix the door jamb b/c of my excessive slamming. That threat worked quite well- I quit slamming it and instead, would push it gently until it was just about closed, then give one hard shove to shut it. Door jamb stayed intact and I got to keep my door.

 

 

 

 

 


nana776
by Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 9:51 AM
1 mom liked this

I thought about skipping the blankets, but my dd has issues with modesty (she will run from the bathroom to her bedroom naked, if she forgets her robe) and ds is at the age where he is doing things I would rather not see and I don't want him tying up the only bathroom.

Quoting lovemercygrace:

I wouldn't even put up blankets. If they need to get dressed/changed they can do it in the bathroom. No, you are not being to harsh and I agree have the kids write him a letter of apology.


lovemercygrace
by New Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 9:52 AM


Quoting nana776:

I thought about skipping the blankets, but my dd has issues with modesty (she will run from the bathroom to her bedroom naked, if she forgets her robe) and ds is at the age where he is doing things I would rather not see and I don't want him tying up the only bathroom.

Quoting lovemercygrace:

I wouldn't even put up blankets. If they need to get dressed/changed they can do it in the bathroom. No, you are not being to harsh and I agree have the kids write him a letter of apology.

I understand.

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