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Advice Needed: My son often tells me NO when I request He...

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2014 at 10:22 AM
  • 15 Replies

My son often tells me "NO" when I request. He is bigger than me. What do I have to do to show him he is not the one that calls the orders.

by on Apr. 1, 2014 at 10:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sahlady
by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 11:37 AM

example?

gottaluvmee
by New Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 12:10 PM

How old is this kid?

Momofmenagerie
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 12:26 PM
1 mom liked this
I wish I could help.... My son was told and shown at an early age and regularly that I was on charge.... Told over and over, as you grow, you will surpass me, but you will still do what I ask of you. Because why? He always answered " because You. Are . Mom."

He's surpassed my height now and still does whatever I ask because he learned young.

If you didn 't prepare for this... I don't know how to advise. I am not attempting to be inconsiderate , it's just that I KNEW he would surpass me and started pretty early.
nana776
by Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 12:30 PM

Say "no" right back. No laundry, no cooking, no cleaning, no car or rides anywhere but school and job. See how he likes that.

atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 1, 2014 at 12:33 PM

Be firm and consistant.  Is he threatening?  Heck, call the cops if he is.  Kids are kids and parents are parents.  No need to take bullying from your kid. 

gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 3:26 PM
1 mom liked this

Curious, when you request what?

Revoke privileges. He wants to think he's an adult, then treat him as such and make him responsible for his own food and laundry.

OHgirlinCA
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 3:34 PM

 Tell him that it is no longer a request and if he continues to give you a hard time take some priveleges away.

mommyofthezoo03
by on Apr. 1, 2014 at 7:25 PM
1 mom liked this

The method I use comes from a book called "have a new teen by Friday" by Dr. Kevin Leman. I ask one of my kids to do something and they say no, I let it go. Then teh very next time they ask for something, anything my answer is "I don't feel like doing that because of the way you spoke/disobeyed/refused/mouthed off/treated me, earlier." It took a couple days but it worked. I used it on a 3, 5 and 12 yr old. 

Other than that I don't know what to tell you. My exSIL was just telling me last night that she is powerless to stop her 13 yr old son or 16  yr old daughter from doing anything because they threaten to hit her and have actually done so. Nothing she can really do at this point. Has to hit home before it gets so bad. 

                                   

zacmacsmomm
by Bronze Member on Apr. 2, 2014 at 10:58 AM
2 moms liked this

My son may be bigger than me, but damn I will still "take him out" if he gets mouthy with me.  If my son told me "no", he would get a very hard lesson.  He would have to find his own food, clean his own clothes, find his own ride, pay to have all his stuff returned to him.  I've never let my kids bully me, I am the mom, plain and simple

teensrmyworld
by Member on Apr. 2, 2014 at 11:45 AM

How old is your son?  I am assuming that he is over 14 if he is taller than you.  Both of my kids are much taller than me but they also listen and respect what I say because if I am asking them to do something they do not want to, I usually inject a little humor and then I get their attention.  I have also always respected my kids opinion about everything, so next time say "when I ask you something and you say no, it hurts me, but I am assuming that you have a good reason, what is that reason?"  Listen to his response.  If he is just saying no out of disrespect, he will then feel pretty dumb having to explain himself.  If there is a good reason why he is not listening to you, then hear him out and make adjustments so that you can come together on decisions.

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