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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Social Media

Posted by on Apr. 4, 2014 at 10:58 AM
  • 16 Replies

I am interested and knowing what other moms think about the use of Instagram, Kik, and other social media sites by their teenagers.  It just appears sometimes they spend so much time on those things "documenting" life rather than living it and it can also impact their self-esteem based on number of "likes" seeing pictures of get togethers they weren't invited to and the like  - what do you think?

by on Apr. 4, 2014 at 10:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 4, 2014 at 11:35 AM

I think every kid is different.  As far as not getting invited to things.  That has happened forever and kids need to deal.  That is a part of real life.  Some kids today are too sheltered and not at all ready for real life as much as I was 35 years ago.  My parents didn't shelter us from getting hurt and failing and not getting invited to things.  Self esteem is within not built on invites or friends or anything. 

ckb0522
by on Apr. 4, 2014 at 12:01 PM

I agree to what you are saying regarding living their lives and taking the bumps along the way - but being so attached to posting pictures and everything that goes along with it sometimes seems to actually make it a bit more about documenting life rather than living it.  I will say back when I was growing up sure you weren't invited to everything and all of that but it wasn't in your face at that degree.  How "healthy" it is for kids/teens to spend so much time emeshed is cyber world rather than just having fun?  I've heard of parties that the kids spent so much time on their phones and taking pictures you wondered just how much fun were they really having.  The ask.fm site seems to be a great tool for anonymous bullying - do other moms monitor this stuff, limit how much it is used, or just let their kids do whatever they want with all the social media sites?

Niccalyn
by Bronze Member on Apr. 4, 2014 at 12:23 PM

My oldest DD, 17, spends very little time on social media.  My middle DD, 14, absolutely loves it, but she limits the time she spends on it.  She posts a pic on Instagram maybe every other day, and spends a few minutes a day blogging on Tumblr.  She has everything set to private so that strangers don't see her information and she doesn't see things in her news feed that she doesn't want to see.  I must admit, however, that I've been heavily involved in their on-line lives--I have all passwords and can go on at anytime and check up on them.  They don't like it but realize it comes with the privilege of having access to the technology that enables them to engage in social media.  I don't think it interferes with either of their social lives, but I have had to have some conversations with my 14 year old about making sure school remains the top priority.  I guess it remains to be seen how active my 9 year old will be with social media as she is not allowed access to it yet.  I think how much it interferes with a teen's life is a very individual thing, and parental involvement/policing is probably also a contributing factor.

ckb0522
by on Apr. 4, 2014 at 12:35 PM

 I think you make a really good point that it is case by case depending on the child and that monitoring is a really good idea!   

atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 4, 2014 at 12:43 PM

I guess mine being 20 and 23 they were not that way and I didn't let them on the computer Monday-Thursday.  Also didn't have internet on their phones or a camera.  I guess that was one way it was not in their face every day.  I didn't allow it at all.  Didn't have a phone till after 16 too.

Quoting ckb0522:

I agree to what you are saying regarding living their lives and taking the bumps along the way - but being so attached to posting pictures and everything that goes along with it sometimes seems to actually make it a bit more about documenting life rather than living it.  I will say back when I was growing up sure you weren't invited to everything and all of that but it wasn't in your face at that degree.  How "healthy" it is for kids/teens to spend so much time emeshed is cyber world rather than just having fun?  I've heard of parties that the kids spent so much time on their phones and taking pictures you wondered just how much fun were they really having.  The ask.fm site seems to be a great tool for anonymous bullying - do other moms monitor this stuff, limit how much it is used, or just let their kids do whatever they want with all the social media sites?


ckb0522
by on Apr. 4, 2014 at 12:53 PM
1 mom liked this

 You make a good point - this seems to be something more prevalent now than it even was a few years ago.  My oldest will be 21 this summer and it didn't seem like this at all - there was texting and myspace (I think that was what it was called)...but with my 14 and 12 year olds it just seems to have ballooned and I wonder if other parent see it that way or I'm a minority with that view.  I have seen some of the stuff posted out there and am amazed sometimes that these are middle school kids! 

Debmomto2girls
by Member on Apr. 4, 2014 at 5:35 PM
2 moms liked this

My 16 & 13 use it and I do not have a problem with it. THey are both very social, active and stright A students.  If that ever changed because of social media, I would have a problem.

cybcm
by Bronze Member on Apr. 4, 2014 at 7:35 PM
I'm confused about how you keep saying "documenting a life rather than living it", you do have to live in order to document.



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ckb0522
by on Apr. 4, 2014 at 9:49 PM

 I just mean spending so much time taking pictures, reviewing pictures, commenting on pictures - rather than just having fun.  I get some of it, but it just seems to have become almost an addiction for some of these kids - again, just my point of view - that's why I really like hearing what others thing about it.  Thanks!

Jessiejack
by Silver Member on Apr. 4, 2014 at 10:48 PM

We have not had any problems so for now I am ok with it. But my kids are not much for using it

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